“If I was two-and-a-half metres tall and didn’t know how to control a ball then I may have gone to England" (The Premier League 2015/16)

Better late than never

ABOUT BLOODY TIME

load of fucking crap innit

stfu u

*occupies this thread by sitting on the floor*

Watch it, sunshine

can we please account for who is and isn't ready

http://m.bournemouthecho.co.uk/resources/images/3500121.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03222/evapa_3222081b.jpg

SHE'S FAR TOO READY

http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/67/590x/secondary/bentekemock-312857.jpg

HE'S QUITE POORLY PHOTOSHOPPED

http://statsbomb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Wenger.jpeg

HE'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE

http://tvnewsroom.org/newslines/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Ronald-Koeman-revealed-the-fru.jpg

HE'S READY FOR HIS BEDBATH

It will take approximately a millennium for me to download images in my current circumstances. Could you provide a one-sentence summary for each, stating what we can see and why it is amusing? Thanks.

lol good work nv

I always channel Wenger when my dog does a shit on the Thornhill Trojans rugby pitch and am carrying no bags, I did not get a clear view of zis incident.

feeling not particularly excited for this iteration of the english top-flight. fully expect another title for Chelsea, although mourinho's second season at a club is always the apotheosis of the luso-eye-gouger's reign so a dip in performance may be expected - which would be good because I hope the title-race is more competitive this year. especially because im growing increasingly aghast with the import given to the race for the cl spots which ends up being treated like a trophy (copyright wenger) when in reality it's of little interest to most neutrals.

lol Rooney is so fucking bad

I think that might be the worst performance I've seen from a Utd player since Gary Neville's retirement game at West Brom

sadly it's probably take another season of him shitting up the place every week to make van Gaal realise he's done

but on a positive note, Darmian is already a hero

https://vine.co/v/edlAlPIuVHi

don't really understand what the hell is going on in that clip

although that audio on a loop is tripping me out

Use this thread, yer dummies

fuck this

chickenshit

can you change the title matt

change it to anything

GET INVOLVED - will Liverpool win the Premiership 2013/14?

"What's in a title?": The Premiership 2015/16 Thread

Great game tonight, each team getting a 45 minutes domination. Exciting last twenty minutes.

The Premier League 2015/2016: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

writhing dungheap of amoral parasites, lets go through with this fucking worthless charade again

^ great thread title imo, xelab

lol

Son Heung-min supposedly having a medical at Spurs. £22m seems reasonable - even if he isn't massively prolific he could be a decent foil for Kane.

I don't even know what 22m gets you anymore

Erik Lamela and £8m change if the current reports are to be believed.

I haven't seen a minute of football this season but I'm more worried about the state of our central midfield. Bentaleb has developed nicely over the last year or so but it all looks very inexperienced before you even get onto the issue of putting Dier in there.

May have erred in making Mitrovic my Fantasy Football captain.

Lol, Newcastle are going to end this with eight.

was the dismissal warranted? missed it

that was a kinda careless tackle

Think it was stupid rather than malicious but was definitely worth a red. Xp

yes it was a hundred times red and yes it was malicious

lucky to only be down to ten tbh they're making stupid challenges everywhere on the pitch

arsenal are too cool to score

there it is

on the evidence so far Mitrovic might be the dumbest player in the league

thought he'd flourish in the prem too

this is so dull - bus parking when down a man is smart strategy but boring as hell to watch

both teams settling for one nil its not great fare

Two Stoke red cards in five minutes.

this is a shambles

Hope Everton pulls it out. Gotta dvr and watch later.

Man City is scary even if it is just Watford

Crystal Palace!!!

nice header by ward

like if he'd signed a few vidal/inler/m'vila/martin/vertonghens and said we won't pay stupid money then they'd be genuinely competitive and no one would be grousing

― r|t|c, Monday, 22 August 2011 12:34 Bookmark

proven by science

fair

i will happily defend the pogba transfer ftr

it's quite a statement of regret

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CpWljCGXYAASzjc.jpg

:)

haha amazing

can't tell which one's steve bruce but either way the diet's paying off

https://www.change.org/p/gary-topley-stop-the-continuous-harassment-of-paul-gascoigne-by-the-sun-newspaper

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CpUSDUWXEAAhPWR.jpg

i believe her

As gestures of defiance by decaying imperial powers go, this Pogba rollout is fearsomly impressive.

Ultimately it would have been cheaper and more satisfying for Mourinho to roll a load of tanks into the Etihad, but hey.

Considerably cheaper if Ferguson had just played him instead of bringing an aged Scholes out of retirement

top insight cheers

Have City really named John Stones in their Champions League squad?

"We are double-checking now as we have had a lot of calls about this.”

tbh every transfer announcement is prob two days behind as clubs prepare every possible channel of shareable behind the scenes

stones has been in the booth the last week recording a song with chipmunk to clash pogba and stormzy

£47.5m

So Stones in at #2 with a bullet on this list

http://www.skysports.com/football/news/12691/9912969/sterling-tops-the-ten-most-expensive-english-players

http://i.imgur.com/JzW1scM.png

it's nice that u can go on the city site to gawp at £50m and still see this next to it

city always scored cunters against us

iirc that was a free kick

oh idnrc it was a poxy rebound

if a broken but steadfastly servile mike phelan on our screens every week as hull manager doesnt upturn ilf standards idk what will

You think it might take...

more than a phelan?

nazi ilx webmasters continue to prevent me adding top insight cheers to every post

Fuck them

somewhere in a top secret bunker there's thirty epl lawyers furiously trying to come up with plausible sanctions against hull for devaluing the product

can you imagine actually giving a job to mike phelan

"mike what we really need here is for someone to take this job which nobody wants, fail in 2 or 3 months, then slink off into the hole from which they came and occasionally appear on mufc tv with gary pallister talking about a healthy rumbelows cup victory over a rival"

"i'm ready"

http://therepublikofmancunia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/phelanbook.jpg.jpg

sunderland selling lamine kone to everton for a £13m profit in under six months is some kind of record i'm guessing

Everton replacing Stones with Ashley Williams for 12m. Decent business

for who

Hmmm, he's older than I thought

are we blaming martinez for stones last season?

mostly. would be harsh not to, at his age

stones has a v particular, v unusual mix of flippancy, egotism, and quality that make me suspect that he may well be a german spy

Nasri, Bony, and Mangala have all been left out of City's CL squad

Feel like there's a grim unimaginative inevitability to Bony securing that deadline day move to Everton as Lukaku's replacement.

arsenal triple swoop, have faith

oh idnrc it was a poxy rebound

― imago, Tuesday, August 9, 2016 7:14 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

tired of trying to decode it: IDNRC?

Looks like Benteke to Palace could finally be happening

I Do Not Remember Correctly? xp

I Did Not Reach Climax

Sam Cunningham ‏@samcunningham 12m
Tottenham's head of recruitment Paul Mitchell has handed in his resignation at the club. Full story @MailSport.

Oh we all know exactly how that went down over the summer.

Meanwhile Palace get £25m from Everton for Bolasie. It'd probably be easier to send the cash straight across to Anfield in a taxi.

United must be creaming themselves at the thought of all the dead wood they'll get to offload to Sunderland now Moyes is in charge. I mean he's taking Phil Jones and Fellaini at a bare minimum.

― Matt DC, Saturday, July 23, 2016 9:28 AM

SSN: Sunderland have agreed a fee with Manchester United for defenders Paddy McNair and Donald Love

There's a footballer called Donald Love?

who will win eplmania xxv

please... i must know...

januzaj off to sunderland for the season as well