Teddy Sheringham as Pundit

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No Future?

If you don't want to answer this, then just let rip on the England team.

― the pinefox, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was most disturbed by Alan Shearer's posture.

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nicky D: thanks for replying to my question, but - what on earth are you on about?

― the pinefox, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

More to the point, what has happened to 'Gorgeous' Alan Hansen? He looked terrifying last night, his eyebrows seemed to have been waxed off or something. He is off my list of shaggable older men, I'm afraid.

― Emma, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Alan Hansen looked like he'd been on his holidays, or sharing Dale Winton's sunbed at least. The deep tan seemed to make the scar on AH's forehead stand out a lot more...

As an Arsenal supporter I am of course biased - T.S. number one enemy of gooners - but I did think Sheringham was v. poor as a pundit. It never really works when the 'expert' is still playing - they don't want to piss off other players, managers, supporters etc.

― Andrew L, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought it was Stewart Pierce - shows what I know.

Actually I reckon Psycho would be a pretty good pundit, especially for picking up the fouls that we all want to see again. Imagine a Foul Of The Month competition. Excellent.

― Pete, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry the pinefox - I was watching the live coverage on Sky. Shearer was one of their pundits. He slouched in his big chair with a big fat loosely knotted tie and what looked like a big fat stomach. He didn't look like a man who was until recently England's top striker. I think Sky should invest in some desks.

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or Alan should invest in an Abdominiser.

― Emma, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I didn't see Teddy on the telly last night but I bet he was great and you're all wrong.

― Jonnie, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Teddy was about as entertaining as chewing tofu. And Shearer does indeed need to learn to sit up straight. If I was Richard Keys I would have given him a clip round the ear with my gorilla arms.

― Martin, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Keys could use his own gorilla arms, Mart. He'd have no need for yours.

Teddy just used the BBC show as an opportunity to hint that he should still be in the England team. Bah.

― Tim, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So...ahem...is this an English thing? Talking about tv pundits when your side is given footie lessons? :)

― Omar, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

At the end of the day, gorilla arm was the winner.

― Martin, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is Richard Keys the product of a union 'twixt a monkey and Tosh McKinlay?

― Ally C, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

We might find out the definitive answer to this sooner rather than later, sadly.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 8 May 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/turnipfish1/teddyforsale.txt

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 8 May 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Great revival!

I think letting him go must be the right decision.

― the pinefox, Thursday, 8 May 2003 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

That model looks more like Andy Townshend!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 8 May 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Looks like Poyets contract might be bought out as well. It's all going a bit Logan's Run at Spurs.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 8 May 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I hear that Heskey is available at a very reasonable price... the new Sir Les!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 8 May 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

BOOF!

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 8 May 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Heskey Schmesky - it's Kevin Phillips all the way at Spurs.

Not that this is much better in this day and age. Still, at least we didn't sign Michael Ricketts.

I've also been daring to whisper the name of Gabriel Batistuta in connection with Spurs (he wants to come to London!), but I suspect he'll be lining up for Celtic or Rangers or someone soon enough.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 8 May 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

kevin Phillips = southampton bound I hear.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 8 May 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

We should organise him an FAP, there's more chance of getting him in the White Hart boozer than getting him to White Hart Lane. (snare drum)

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 8 May 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Phillips is rubbish. Spurs need YOUNG players not codgers old enough to be my contemporaries.

The Nipper is right about Heskey's availability - Spurs will sign him. Heskey is also rubbish, something I think the Nipper has sometimes denied.

― the pinefox, Thursday, 8 May 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Jonnie says that the striker rumour around WHL is that they are going to try for the prolific (ahem) Jason Roberts.

I think Heskey would partner Robbie Keane very well fwiw.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 8 May 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But none of them are really out-and-out goalscorers, though, are they? Which is what Spurs need at the moment, because although Keane is often magical in attack his finishing sometimes leaves a lot to be desired.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 8 May 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I am also desperately trying to put the possibility that Spurs might sign Lee Bowyer out of my mind.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 8 May 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I really hope not.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 8 May 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Spurs are getting that Chinese dude, Qui Bo!

And they've only got about like £6 million to spend so far, but I reckon Stephen Carr, Matthew Etherington and possibly Simon Davies :( will be sold, so that could be another 6 or 7 million to spend. Plus, Poyet and Sullivan could well be off.

I'd rather they bought two quality attacking midfielders than waste everything on a Heskey or a Phillips. I'd rather they bought Gudjohnsen from Chelsea.

Anyway, the loan market is where it will be at this summer for most of the Premeirship.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 8 May 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, Jason Roberts! Ex-Bristol Rovers strikers are guarantees of success, as evidences by him at West Brom and Marcus Stewart at Sunderland this season! (Barry Hayles hasn't played enough for Fulham this year, or they might be doing as well.) I wonder if there was a sell-on clause? Then again, I guess there will be no great profit on the £2m+ they paid us for him. I'm still waiting for someone wealthy to buy Bobby Zamora from Brighton, because I know we have one there.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 8 May 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

that model does look really like andy townsend

― robin (robin), Thursday, 8 May 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Think you'll find it looks more like Matt Smith...

And on the original topic - Teddy might not be much cop at it, but did anyone witness the bottom-of-the-phone-book pairing that was Danny Mills and Garth Crooks on the FA Cup semis highlights? Jesus wept the Sargasso sea...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 8 May 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

who dares compare sir les!

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Friday, 9 May 2003 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Tottenham surely cannot go for Jason Roberts. Please tell me this is not true. My gut feeling is that Zamora will come, though I too have a sneaky feeling that Emile 'Norman Wisdom' Heskey could be a success alongside Keane Jr. Then again, I remain convinced that Rebrov would have been a 20-goal striker had Hod given him the chance. Gudjohnsen would be a fantastic purchase but he won't leave Chelsea now that Jimmy's on the way out and Zola's getting on.

― darren (darren), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Liverpool signing Finnan apparently.

And also Malbranque, I can't wait to see him play 3 games next season.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

finnan is an excellent signing. i think spurs should get heskey. he's a good player, just not good enough to be england's no.1. him and keane would be a tasty strike pairing. i dunno if zamora would take off in the premiership, but we shall see...

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

First thing Spurs need to do is to get rid of Hoddle.

― chris (chris), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i think so, the season has ended poorly. venables return, anyone? ;-)

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and it goes without saying that Teddy will be Spurs manager within five years. Apparently Millwall want him (as a player), but I can't see him leaving the Premiership just yet.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Can we stop all this Heskey rubbish please? *Places hands over ears*... anyway, I don't think Spurs can afford to buy him. And I'm not sure Liverpool can afford to sell him, especially if they don't sign a striker and are only going to be left with Owen, Baros and Nadge Chuff upfront.

Nope, its another failed bid for Morientes followed by the signing of Igor Iphlemovic from Dynamo Talinn, mark my words.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The thing is, as soon as I heard Sheringham's contract hadn't been renewed, my first thought was "There's a new striker for Portsmouth".

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently, Houllier has submitted a list of 30 players he wants to sign pre-season. I'm guessing 27 of these are French B-team internationals.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

he's asked me to try and replace traore, if i can hit a building from 5 yards I'm in.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

the other three being Damien Duff (no chance) Steve Finnan (done deal) and Steed Malbranque (see Ronan's comments above)

I'm still holding out for Edgar Davids though.

― chris (chris), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

The malbranque thing seems so sudden and pointless, like loads of his previous purchases, it's as if Fulham said "do you fancy a malbranque with that" and he thought what the hell.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard the Malbranque thing a while ago and it worries me, the only artful midfielder Liverpool should be looking at is Joseph Cole, other than that we want a midfield general.

― chris (chris), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

if west ham go down, there will be a scramble for quite a few players, cole and defoe in particular. weren't 'pool linked with kanoute before?

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 9 May 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard Kanoute to Arsenal, he seems a typically Wenger style of player.

On a side note, what's all this about David Bellion to United? Is their reserve team that short on substitutes?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 May 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm always a little confused about united wanting bellion. he's very fast, but that's about it (i've only seen him play a couple of times, tbf).

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 9 May 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, exciting times at Northampton Town, as we're linked with... some guy who just got released on a free by Cambridge. And that's it.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 May 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

After our (Bristol Rovers) strong finish to this season, I'm optimisticish about next season. But I do hope Bobby Zamora gets bought big - I think we get a third of all profits, and that means anything over £250k, I think it was.

Finnan is a tremendous player - I think he's been maybe the best full-back in the Premiership over the last two years. And surprisingly cheap. I hope West Ham survive, but if not there will be plenty of interest in Cole, Defoe, Carrick, Canoute, Sinclair and even Bowyer. I don't know how many they will need to sell, but that's an England midfield, plus Defoe up front, and they won't want to be away from the top division.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 9 May 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be interested to know whether that guy from Cambridge is going to avoid the strain of moving house and commute the relatively short distance to Northampton or whether he'll take advantage of the close season to move and thus take advantage of the lower rents in the Northampton area.

I like Emile Heskey because he used to play for Leicester, and if ever there was a club who needed people to like their ex-players, it's Leicester.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Friday, 9 May 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

seven years pass...

http://www.poker777.com/20100906/ept-vilamoura-a-good-performance-for-teddy-sheringham.php

― StanM, Monday, 6 September 2010 15:34 (fifteen years ago)

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