Stinkers

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Granted, sometimes you get home at the end of a hot day feeling a little icky, but what I want to know is, in this day and age, with a vast array of hygiene products available for purchase in Boots, how on earth does the bloke two desks down from me manage to come to work smelling worse than my old science teacher? Some days he's fine, other days (like today) half of our ginormous open plan office smells like him. And I'm at the epicentre of this foul fug.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely if you are at the epicentre of this foul fug you have some thinking to do.

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Alright, smartarse, I am two metres from the epicentre. I gave myself a liberal spraying of Soft & Gentle after my bath this morning, put on clean clothes and finished it off with a squirt of Fendi.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Does he know. I find telling people that they stink alleviates the work smell problem no end. Until they over compensate and the Lynx effect makes you shag the filling cabinet.

― Pete, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Talking of which - that girl in the long toenail pawing Lynx advert - phowar!

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Lynx effect works on me. You may have seen me sniffing armpits at the King of Corsica on Friday. Admittedly, only one pair of pits was Lynxed, but they smelled nicest.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm with Nick. I'll see your phowar and raise you a schwoorraaah!

― Sam, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

For our cousins abroad (I don't think you have it) Lynx is a cheap nasty body spray beloved by British men.

― Nick, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Beloved because as implied elsewhere on this thread it comes with a guarantee of casual sex.

― Tom, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And beloved of me! Mmmmm, Lynx Africa, mmmmmmmm.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh and to add to what Nick said, Lynx = Axe in France and Italy, I think.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Casual sex with filing cabinets is not the sort of casual sex I want, thank you very much.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

AT least filing cabinets are demure enough to have drawers. Young ladies these days often don't.

As for bookcases.

― Pete, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cripes, the one period in my life when I was a Lynx user was my absolute romantic nadir. Perhaps I was using the wrong one? Or maybe it just doesn't work miracles...

Ever noticed how some people have a hygiene problem which leaves them smelling like chlorinated water? Er, actually, maybe they're just keen swimmers...

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If you had to pick: body odour that stinks up the entire office or a gallon of old spice that stinks up the entire office?

― nathalie, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Having sat a stone's throw from BO-Man since nine o'clock this morning, the answer to that is easy. I'll be a Spice girl, please.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

He is just leaving the office. It matters not, his stench will linger into the early hours of the morning.

― Madchen, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

apparently the nature of yr pheremones change over time as does yr sense of smell, so you actually stop being able to smell yrself as well, at the same time as stinking more...and its kinda weird cos i like a good pongy armpit, but that's only if it's under 40...anywhere over, and there's icky problems...

― Geoff, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You should tell him, leave an anonymous note or something, anything. I had to live w/this problem in a windowless room shared by two others. What was weird about my guy wuz that the smell was so.. old, it was like maybe what would happen if you didn't do laundry for honestly like a YEAR. Everytime someone came into "the tank" (shoulda been "the stank") there wuz much grimacing and hand-waving in front of noses, but he never caught on. To our everlasting shame no one had the heart/cojones to tell him.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus H., all that talk about Brits being repressed deves has now been proven TRUE! By SCIENCE! The image of Pete shagging filing cabinets distresses me, and I must cry. *does so*

As to how said event happens as Madchen originally describes it, god knows. Leave anonymous gifts of soap with notes reading, "In the morning, please cover yourself with water and get this wet, then apply it to yourself." Leave enough room for open interpretation of this, and he may never in fact LEAVE the shower, which means you'll not have to worry about him again.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Smelling excessively can be a medical condition that no manner of deodarants and smelly stuff can really overcome, so leaving notes and soap wouldn't really help. Having said that I still think the only answer is to shoot the stinky bastards.

― Martin, Thursday, 16 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

I was doing the washing up today and remembered that I put "I am the epicentre" and cringed (again)

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 30 April 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

aww, hehe.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 30 April 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

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