POLL: 2016 ILX Poetry Competition Voting

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Thanks to all those who submitted poems. Without such brazen presumption no poems would ever see the light of day. Special thanks go to Treeship for starting things rolling again. Ilxors please note: voting in this poll earns each voter everlasting merit in heaven.

The 17 poems are listed here in their order of submission. The dozen poets who submitted them are identified by their usernames, but not their display names. Untitled poems are identified by their first line, italicized.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Your nose has stopped bleeding, Jonathan Hellion Mumble 3
Buy me alcohol, imago 3
Wine revives dreams as words, pierre menard 3
GLIDING INTO THE HEXAGON, imago 2
Soft Focus, larry appleton 2
I felt it again, man alive 2
For Soup, tangenttangent 1
The Plan, Gatemouth 1
eluviation, Mordy 1
A New Soliloquy, Aimless 0
Michael Jackson, Treeship 0
Cheer For The Sociopath, snoball 0
Sunny Delight, Gatemouth 0
One Weird Trick, Treeship 0
Lines wheezed on a seat, Grand Canal, Dublin, darraghmac 0
This "love" thing, Jonathan Hellion Mumble 0
The Uncle's Song, Aimless 0


a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 03:47 (nine years ago)

All the submitted poems, in their order of submission:

The Uncle’s Song

Infant, terrible in beauty,
sucking on my silver ring,
my uncle duty
is in your keeping.
You be uncle to yourself
and I your uncle-doll.
Or else I'll crawl,
be you grown big.
What do I know of uncle-ing,
the uncle-jig,
unless I suck my silver ring
and throw away my uncle wig,
disregarding
old, remembered uncle measures
I taught uncles at my leisure
when I was a terrible, beautiful child?
I'll be your uncle undefiled,
sweet niece mine,
new kind of girl,
the pearl of my silver ring.
That's my uncle song.

-- a little too mature to be cute (Aimless)

This "love" thing
Yeah i read about it in books
I seen a lot of films about this
I heard a whole bunch of songs
(I still use our Spotify list, that makes one of us)
Don't paint me as some sort of amateur
And YES, I am aware of the etymology of that word
All this time and you still underrate me
Mute me all you want, that's fine
Pretend it was an accident, that's fine
I WILL NEVER GET THE PICTURE
I AM NOT GOING AWAY
Run away from me, that's fine
HA! You'd have to run to California
Or at least, I donno, London or something
Oh wait
OK, you win

"Be the Malky to my Aidan"
I wrote that in a song for you once
But I don't think you got the reference
And you never asked for clarification
To be honest, in a way I'm wasted on you
A thousand haikus tossed to the wind
Along with all those paper cranes
I'm folding penguins from now on
No real reason, stubbornness I suppose
But you took "obtuse" as an insult
So now... I donno
(It was meant as a compliment, by the way)
I'll stop speaking now
Like, forever
Pretend it's for a bet or something
Here, have a penguin

-- Jonathan Hellion Mumble

One Weird Trick

Measure your pain like coffee grounds,
throw away what’s left;
hold on to yourself,
but sacrifice yourself;
live inside the chestnut of a cruel paradox,
but transcend it.

-- Treeship

Cheer For The Sociopath

He wears fancy shirts
and expensive suits
Never overt
at the opera concert
He fits right in
his flashy car
and handmade shoes
Smoking a cigar
at the casino bar
he's the kingpin

Such style and grace
when he's punching people
in the face
You admire his taste
as he lights a cigarette
You're dazzled by his flair
as he kicks someone
down the stairs
Beats them with a chair
without breaking a sweat

-- an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball)

Michael Jackson

Poetry is the name we give
to words we want to dignify
or disparage,
depending on our context.

Michael Jackson’s lifespan overlapped with mine for twenty years.
I feel lost.
I want to dignify this feeling
by generalizing it.
It isn’t even me.
What I feel, more or less, is what my generation feels.

I half believe this,
which is more than I can say
for most of the things I say.

Concrete.
Concrete.
Back to matter --
sights and smells.
Sound is vapor.

-- Treeship

Soft Focus

Life is like a sax solo
Blaring and pointless
Played at the end of a movie in an empty theater

-- larry appleton

A New Soliloquy

This poor assemblage of aches and urges,
dim thoughts and dimmer memories,
this round of countless days, months,
years, and sneezes unnumbered,
as lavish as the specks of pepper strewn
on fried eggs by the thousand, these
make up the messy details of my life.

Viewed so, and in this bleary mood,
I'm tempted to dismiss the whole
as some bug's life, spent uninformed,
full of motion and ending in cheap death.
Yet, I know this is not justice,
Not a fair appraisal, not the truth.
Jumbled in among the unemphatic bits
are the moments that redeemed me.

I do not speak of suffering, though
of a certainty I've suffered much.
That is just the mark of living within
the swirl and turmoil of this unsteady world,
where we must be wrenched to new shapes,
lest we perish like untutored bugs
who cannot bear the buffets we survive.
It changes our bearing but does not redeem.
It merely keeps us mindful of the truth.

Laugh now, because I speak of love,
Those moments when I put myself aside,
to enter a place of tenderness and giving,
the moments when my life has been a splendor
in spite of pain or grief or joy,
and whatever death may wait for me
forever after can't be counted cheap.
I share this glory with dogs and cows,
Who rise as high as we do in this matter,

Laugh now in sweetness of recognition.
This is the moment we have lived for.

-- a little too mature to be cute (Aimless)

I felt it again
The howling emptiness
in the parking lot of the Bounce U

And at the birthday party
I felt it in her too
When she stood in the corner, sure
That no one wanted to play with her

And in the pizza room
Among those parents, with whom
The same pleasantries exchange,
Never more than that

And in the endless documents
Of a midwestern pension fund
in transcripts
and spreadsheets
and half unoccupied bedsheets

And adjacent to you
On the grey couch
When you said
You couldn't cry around me
Though your grandmother was dead.

The howling emptiness
Bites sometimes
I'm sorry for that.

Yet somehow in the subway
Under the ground
In the bitter yellow light
Under the unacknowledging gazes
Of every one whom I'll never know,
I felt the terror of what
It must be like
No longer to exist

-- human life won't become a cat (man alive)

Your nose has stopped bleeding
But you've seen better days
And you're drunk on the wine you saved
In case of company
There's a cat on the sofa
But he leaves you alone
Because you're not the same person
Since you moved back home

So you kneel in the corner
Facing the wall
With the bible in Swedish
You stole from the hospital
You try hard to focus
And hum to yourself
Because there aren't any answers
But the ritual helps

And there's things left to say
But you're not going to call
Because Pride counts for something
And Truth most of all
A memorial tattoo
It didn't even hurt
But what would've happened
If manoeuvre X had worked

-- Jonathan Hellion Mumble

The Plan

Just so you don’t think
there was no plan
and become somnolent with the pointlessness
of whatever; well there was- there was
such a plan! And it was God’s plan, which was to plan
a community- to spread out the streets
and the gutters
and the various fluids,
and to then let them be
self-governing through fear
and Pringles, the tension between
the orchestral and the fenestral,
the various and inexplicable screaming
in the dead of the night.

That part went all as planned,
so far, so good,
so pleasantly luminous
against the backdrop
of the tower of skulls-
which is of course where
we finally had to fuck
with the plan. The whole shebang
banged
against the hanging
Joe Namath, his bulging
ganglia, his golden
secretions. His secret cookies.
It was hard standing in the line
with the statues that became liquid
and the solitary mattress resplendent
with the single bawling Baronness
with the wandering eye. How she glittered
with illicit salts. How the trampolines lifted
angry virgins
to their final resting place
amongst the stars.

There was no planning this
fashion disaster. We had neither the films nor the sense
to abuse ourselves
properly. Nor the fiscal discipline. We now wanted to kill God,
possibly out of spite,
but his location was not
sufficiently obvious
to us. Had he planned this
as well? You cut yourself
off from the twittering mass
and tried to listen. The littlest voice
in your bread. The biggest sandwich. The most spiritualistic
of all the tuna salads. It was illiberal
to pander to your pottage
you proposed to your penis,
as you went on your way
ordering the universe,
eating the breads,
doing your very best
to avoid stepping
in the dog shit.

-- Gatemouth

Wine revives dreams as words
that echo lush, sweet breaths.
Beyond verses' memorable thoughts,
she listens blindly in front of the sea.

My voice might reach her;
we might meet again.
Perhaps, I shall confide,
she was a vestige of the future.

Red and green lights of love
danced against a blushed visage.
What strange shadow hid you from me
that deafened crackled, dead leaves?

I wrote you in prose,
your crystalline eyes broke.
I searched for your touch,
in your tender shores.

But if the moon reddens from thirst,
or silka deer explore your pond,
would your spirit be able to survive?
I trust you'd trek long journeys to do so.

I am still, awaiting you,
everything is dark,
my vision slowly blurs,
uncertain the sea will rest.

On a Spruce tree a stem would’ve grown.
Light would’ve tarnished those without faith.
This mind has been emptied out of words,
a rumour that can’t be buried in dreams.

Stop your snickering,
there’s no use for more.
Lions roam in the rain
and I turn to water.

-- pierre menard

For Soup

'What hasn't been
never will!'
and other deprivation arrows
to the heart of maudlin hysterics

That old folly
dried up and now
its face pointed at pretend instincts
not fully incubated
and NO I never saw it hatching but
"I just wanted the other children
to believe"

The poor starcasters couldn't stomach fruition
and spent their only coins divining
habitats in the desert
to turn into timeshares
no one would buy
You can still find those tarpaulin-hiders
baked to amnesia in the sand and
prey to stowaway clinicians
seeking purpose

Nightbus outliers
evade swollen cassette tape prescriptions
and live on intrusive edicts
from Paul
a teenage angel somewhere
between wall and spine
with a proclivity to
disappear for decades
WHERE ARE YOU PAUL

No representatives to offer compensation
No longer interested in backstreets encounters
Don't cast your bathwater
among swine and
don't labour the essence of desire
Ultimately live
in the brothy endeavours
of youth club memorising -
the beams are always the nicest part
of the building

-- propaganda for the American springtime (tangenttangent)

Sunny Delight

First I noticed the former GE Capital associate with the fuchsia handgun
on his $185 lilac tie. He gave out
his business card next to a Danish man twirling
a Turkish woman. A Bank of America employee
left out his firm’s name
when he said he works
in Risk. We had come together
to discover the value in coming together
with other curious risk-takers,
where we belonged, taking each other
seriously. A current associate
with Goldman Sachs Group Inc.
rocked violently back
and forth
sitting in a Bergere-
it’s a chair—
as he expressed his negative outlook
regarding yuan futures
to an unseen counterparty, his eyes fixed
somewhere in mid-distance, the object unknown
or unstated. On his thigh rested
a notepad
from which I solemnly read the words
“Sunny Delight,”
a phrase which was underlined, once,
then twice—
three times-- with the final line
having been struck almost entirely through
the entire ream of paper. The pages came together
at a point, swollen with ink
beneath the D and the e, which together formed a pool
of almost perfect aqua marine, contrasting almost perfectly
with the light blue of the associate’s eyes There was a--
a swooshing!--
as his thighs came together with their natural friction and the friction of the material coming together met the truly open air
of the room, the openness of our expressions
contrasting perfectly
with the black morass
of his crossed thighs, the host of faces swimming
about his closed thighs,
with their portion of heaven
closed to each and every open,
expectant face, each and all and always
exploring the point
where the creases came
together at last, impulsively looping
and loping
and waiting for more.

-- Gatemouth

GLIDING INTO THE HEXAGON

this forest bulging northerly upward

***

visiting the coast for treats we can never
diversions manned by god and foremen
we can't go to the coast, we can't go to the hills
we crunch oat-based galactic helpings
on the coach to the cliffs, past the mound that
space-giants used as a goalpost
when they played three-a-side kickball in
~the hexagon~

***

our coach got kicked quite hard! oh it's
airport not for another ten miles
no fuel, why do ducks shun to alight
soon we shall crash back down to
~the hexagon~

***

******

so we won't see the coast then, but
maybe the forest? yeah that's cool,
full of pellets and god particles. here it comes
a really big forest and we're
to glide right into it very fast
a flaming elongated molotov cocktail
full of dissatisfied holidaymakers
~THE HEXAGON~

*******************

boom! bang! fucking bang! oh fuck! we're all dead
in
~the hexagon~
but there's a giant scar on the hlllside and everybody's
a chalk cerne abbas outline
quite a few trees have been crushed
our excursion became something unforgettable
thanks god, thanks foremen
thanks most of all the space-giant who plays
centre-half for lower england
and enjoys her hours within

******

~~~THE HEXAGON~~~

-- And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago)

Lines wheezed on a seat, Grand Canal, Dublin

The day dawns with a sense of muscle pain
Penance of a run ran in the rain
If this the cost to reach the age of Christ
I must confess to find it overpriced

This running toward an ever-fixed mark,
A timed fool! Bent, sickened, come, pass, come.
I admit impediment, I'm set to park
My racing heart's last race is raced and done

This ageing man wants but a pastry thing
When one has final flung the final fling
To leave the young to flinging is no wrench
The only fancy fancied now is french

If truth indeed is beauty, beauty truth
If this be all we know and all we need
My once lithe body lies belying youth
I'll pass on passing on, and go to seed

-- Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac)

Buy me alcohol

it's ok you don't need to buy me alcohol
i've already got crystals full of ichor, stout kegs
guarding malted broths beyond compare,
cork-stoppered amphoras in the underloft

but on the off-chance you're down that way
it's spoken of an offie with golden tins
packed seven to a
~HEXAGON~
with one at centre, and these tins contain
a philtre laced with velvet booze, the very
softest alcohol upon which head was laid

if you buy me this alcohol, i'll be -
but no, there's no obligation. forget that.
no liquor truly might outmatch my hoard
for any practicable purpose. except there's one

of which is whispered little, a wooden gourd
in carriage with a stone, whose dipping is
essential. it's only sold in one major chain -
which one i do not know. finding it is hard,
buying it harder still, for what plea is this
but one whose scorning is a simple matter?

"i did not find your alcohol. but look, i brought
the 24-year islay. will this do?"
it'll have to.

-- And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago)

eluviation

oh hey you’re crying
and we’ve only just met
making this a best performance that once
we’ve departed will be submitted
to a book of records where
names and dates and figures
outlive our crumbling bodies

i’ve told you about
our endless time when
minute hands walk backwards and
you’ve told me about frozen chambers
where flesh is made eternal
icy eyes that see visions
of digital carapaces carried on
glittered eyelashes of languid electric camels

it is just easier you said
to preserve your corpse for a low monthly rate
of just $29.99
than prepare your soul
but my hands are already deep in a basin
100% pure olive oil
to cleanse my sins

nor shall death brag
that in decay it discovered within my white bones
a heart you said i never had
embalm then unsex me
be not proud
caged in a frosted forever
that you will whisper psalms over my grave

as i am eaten by worms
just a vigilant statue overlooking
what is even now
barely a memory
and an empty blazed desert devoid of life
that looks back waiting waiting without end
to wake you up with soft
whispers carried across sand that echoes our poetry

-- Mordy

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 03:48 (nine years ago)

V clear winner imo

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 05:26 (nine years ago)

and a very fine opinion I'm sure it is

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 16:28 (nine years ago)

thx deems :)

Mordy, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 16:32 (nine years ago)

imo, the sensibilities presented in these poems and their use of language in service to those sensibilities varies so greatly that sifting among them for a 'best' will take some doing. they are all quite accomplished in their several ways.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 16:51 (nine years ago)

Nah theres a clear winner.

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 16:52 (nine years ago)

there's one cute customer in there has more wit than all the others, but if you think you're right about a clear winner, you're wrong, acushla.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:07 (nine years ago)

Im in with the early endorsement and as the incumbent i aim to keep close to the pretender and keep hold of some of the perks in 2016

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:19 (nine years ago)

I'm flattered that you are all so fond of the work of my sock, larry appleton, but I think others here at least give that poem a run for its money.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:23 (nine years ago)

i think the imago poem is missing some ~HEXAGON~ 's

Mordy, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:24 (nine years ago)

I counted them up on both hands and i think they're all there.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:36 (nine years ago)

oh lol u know what i was looking at the second one he wrote and thought it was missing some but really he just reused hexagon for both sorry

Mordy, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:38 (nine years ago)

callbacks are cheap right

And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:44 (nine years ago)

I'm just hoping that when all the votes are added up, there are more votes than poets.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:53 (nine years ago)

have we done this anonymously in the past or is that only the prose version of this thing?

Mordy, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:55 (nine years ago)

The voting has always been via polls such as this one.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 17:58 (nine years ago)

I really can't decide between two.

It certainly is punk of the Church of England to think that way (tangenttangent), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 18:17 (nine years ago)

(I don't mean both of Imago's)

It certainly is punk of the Church of England to think that way (tangenttangent), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 18:17 (nine years ago)

God, that seems mean. I just didn't want to sound biased!

It certainly is punk of the Church of England to think that way (tangenttangent), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 18:29 (nine years ago)

Lol boom

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 19:27 (nine years ago)

(imago's second offers tangenttangent a choice of pistols or rapiers)

(he has trouble deciding between the two)

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 20:59 (nine years ago)

bumpity

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Thursday, 9 June 2016 17:55 (nine years ago)

Well done all round, chaps. Agree there's a clear winner here.

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 9 June 2016 17:56 (nine years ago)

wake up, sheeple!

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 13 June 2016 19:28 (nine years ago)

oops. sorry. wrong thread.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 13 June 2016 19:28 (nine years ago)

but, as long as you're here you may as well leave your mark

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 14 June 2016 17:51 (nine years ago)

just a bump so it doesn't fall into a deeper hole

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 17 June 2016 16:28 (nine years ago)

Just checked. Still ons clear winner.

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 June 2016 12:01 (nine years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 20 June 2016 00:01 (nine years ago)

weighing this up

imago, Monday, 20 June 2016 19:51 (nine years ago)

not read these but voted for the one with the best title, the determining criterion of which was 'most upper case letters'

nakhchivan, Monday, 20 June 2016 19:54 (nine years ago)

^knows how to troll the literati

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 20 June 2016 21:30 (nine years ago)

it came down to two and it was very close

imago, Monday, 20 June 2016 22:26 (nine years ago)

Wrong

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Monday, 20 June 2016 23:10 (nine years ago)

the best poem here is Soft Focus, larry appleton

riverine (map), Monday, 20 June 2016 23:14 (nine years ago)

I am still just hoping for more total votes than participating poets (iow > 12).

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 20 June 2016 23:34 (nine years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 00:01 (nine years ago)

Three clear winners!

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 00:12 (nine years ago)

i would have lifted one of those three to glory had the poll not closed at some point between my opening this thread and my clicking the button

le Histoire du Edgy Miley (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 00:13 (nine years ago)

pity us all who vainly the dreams of polls recall

le Histoire du Edgy Miley (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 00:15 (nine years ago)

Rubbish

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 00:18 (nine years ago)

Huh.
Partial vindication for my "ill advised schtick", I suppose.

Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 00:32 (nine years ago)

Aggregate win

Don't blame me, I voted for tt (even without bias my favourite) and don't blame her, she voted not for me

My close second was 'Sunny Delight', which got 0. Sorry Gatemouth, u got skillz tho

imago, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 06:14 (nine years ago)

Aaww thank you! And well done again! We will drink solstice mead in your honour!

I almost voted for imago's incredible first poem, but ultimately voted for Gatemouth's Plan, oscillating wonderfully as it does between excitement and cynical resignation. It feels pleasingly humid...idk if that makes sense.

It certainly is punk of the Church of England to think that way (tangenttangent), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 09:15 (nine years ago)

feels weird how we seem to be the only two who really dig Gatemouth - it's great stuff

imago, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 09:21 (nine years ago)

Yeah, tbh I figured that was the obvious winner everyone was talking about.

It certainly is punk of the Church of England to think that way (tangenttangent), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 09:30 (nine years ago)

same although I ended up preferring the second one

imago, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 09:31 (nine years ago)

a charles reznikoff for our time

imago, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 09:32 (nine years ago)

Obv best entry was nosebleed

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 12:05 (nine years ago)

^I aligned with darraghmac's opinion on that, but I think there was less separation between it and other aspirants than he did.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 16:08 (nine years ago)

Argh I forgot to vote, sorry all. Flattered that two non-me people voted for me. I wouldn't have voted for myself but didn't get to read every poem fully enough to choose.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 17:45 (nine years ago)

I voted for you man alive! At least I think I did, in the end.

Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 17:48 (nine years ago)


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