trump's nine rules of acquisition

Is this from his book or something? Because it maps perfectly to his political style.

did he actually write this, it's too on the nose

yeah kind of what I was thinking too

Did he steal this from Scott Adams?

They're like great rules for nickel and diming your way to a self-serving, low-class version of success by treating everyone around you like chattel until you eventually wind up clubbing someone to death in your half-functioning basement bowling alley. I don't get how anyone (like ANYONE) would think someone with these values should hold any political office, let alone the highest in the land.

i'm sure someone tweeted a screengrab from his book which advised the reader to avoid washing your hands in the toilet before a big deal, because the feeling that the man who shook your hand had touched your penis gave you a psychological advantage.

because the feeling that the man who shook your hand had touched your penis gave you a psychological advantage secret erection in your totally not gay penis.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9f/f9/69/9ff96990319f761bc294234b051c5a99.jpg

'dab your semen on your business cards. use your powerful masculine pheromones to biologically dominate the people you are negotiating with'

'subtly demonstrate your dealmaking prowess by anally penetrating the other guy's lead negotiator then explosively climaxing all over his hair, face and chest'

Erotic and beautiful.

gain one over on your adversaries by pretending to be straight for your entire life. the secret need to bone them will mean you're always one step ahead.

#tbt #bushdid911

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9l6ouupdfI

Did he steal this from Scott Adams?

here's a great Scott Adams tweet that I think perfectly encapsulates the avg Trump supporter:

@ScottAdamsSays
If experience is necessary for being president, name a political topic I can't master in one hour under the tutelage of top experts.

(my response: "Judging from your blog, all of them")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbYPgdCYtBQ

I never noticed how much the dude in Ass Pennies looks a trump

omg

that's a UCB sketch isn't it?

Topics Funny or Die Video Archive, , Ass pennies, Upright Citizens, Upright Citizens Brigade, golf course, ucb

I'd say yes

yeah it's from their old comedy central show

ok I didn't click it

now I will because that sketch was awesome

Do trumps rules of acquisition predate the ferengi rules of acquisition?

it's not about what trump says; it's about the shady things his opponent(s) might do?

Nine Reasons Why Donald Trump Will Win:

1. He’s transparent.

2. Hillary Clinton is sneaky.

3. He’s an emotional force.

4. Hillary Clinton is a contrived politician, and people are tired of sneaky, contrived politicians.

5. His base is nuts about him.

6. Her base wants to forget her and vote against him.

7. His base believes he can make real change.

8. Her base believes she can do less damage.

9. Michael Moore, the biggest liberal, thinks Trump will win.

http://helpmebro.com/posts/LdRMyIsiFK

A Republican consultant close to the Trump campaign . . . said Trump’s behavior is typical among wealthy candidates he has worked with.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-historic-liar_us_57a72edce4b03ba680129d06

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

https://vimeo.com/108626411

Michael Moore, the biggest liberal

joy reid forever

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/01/07/the-questions-donald-trump-needs-to-answer-about-russia.html

leave the capitol! exit this roman shell

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/dc-national-guard-chief-removed-inauguration

punk rock aesthetics will save of us from those who try too hard :)

http://people.com/politics/trump-family-russia-scandal-donald-trump-jr-miserable/

Next up: Damon's 5-Point Plan from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

I wonder if Trump has a list of pointers re: acquiring the souls of one's children.

i'd imagine he's at least considered transplanting his brain into don jr's body when don sr's corpus starts failing

I hope he plans to undertake the procedure himself. Seems pretty straightforward, particularly for someone with such a good brain.

Along the lines of that McSweeney's piece linked to the other day (brilliant--satire has to be note-perfect, and that piece is), you could almost rewrite Damone's list as a 5-Point Plan for How to Collude with Russians.

4. When ordering food, find out what they want then order for all of you. It’s a classy move.

http://i.cbc.ca/1.3981507.1487194176!/cpImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_620/russia-putin-trump.jpg

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/fl-group-bayrock-trump-properties

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/11/trump-now-footing-his-bill-for-russia-investigation-costs.html

Secrecy World

A real estate deal from the early 1990s is the earliest instance of President Trump's name appearing in the Panama Papers, the massive trove of leaked documents detailing the ways in which the world's richest people hide their business dealings from scrutiny and taxation.

The discovery involves the purchase and subsequent sale of a condo at the newly constructed Trump Palace on the Upper East Side.

The deal involved a mysterious Panamanian company called Process Consultants, Inc., which bought a 16th floor condo at the Trump skyscraper in 1991.

http://jakebernstein.net/secrecyworld/trump-first-appearance-panama-papers

#5 The threat of a lawsuit is often as good as a real one 0

brighter days

Trump masterfully plays the media
Trump is not a unique threat, at least at this point
Media’s failing at the basics

https://digiday.com/podcast/digiday-podcast-michael-wolff-donald-trump/

The purpose of a propaganda operation isn't to make you believe something. It's to make you believe nothing, so that you do nothing.

#10 After indicting "the Russian 13" the next step is to go after whichever Americans knowingly conspired with the delicious Mr. Putin's crew

mmmm, delicious freedom fries and borscht poutine : )

#Trump2016
#TrumpTrain
#MAGA
#IWontProtectHillary
#Hillary4Prison
#VoterFraud
#HillaryClintonForPrison2016
#NeverHillary
#HillaryForPrison
#Trump
#Trump4President

Twitter accounts controlled or established by the alleged Russian group:

March for Trump
@TEN_GOP (which falsely claimed, the indictment says, to be the official Twitter page of the Tennessee Republican Party).
@March_for_Trump
Facebook and/or Instagram pages or groups controlled or established by the alleged Russian group:
Clinton FRAUDation
Trumpsters United
The group also is alleged to control Facebook and/or Instagram pages or accounts associated with:
Black Lives Matter
Secured Borders
Blacktivist
South United
Heart of Texas
Woke Blacks
United Muslims of America
Stop A.I.

The indictment suggests that those lists are or at least may be non-exclusive. I'd love to know which.

It is the Trump persona so vilified in the media that has in fact made bolder, more sweeping reforms possible than would have been conceivable under almost any other Republican who might have been elected. [. . .] Instead of wringing our hands about his tweets, let’s start playing up his triumphs.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/17/opinion/sunday/republicans-trump-midterms.html

We're going to straighten it out. And we'll do it in a very loving way. It will be a loving, loving way. They'll like us better and they will respect us much more.

Trump: I made them drink so much water they had to piss first. Then I watched to see the color. VERY important. One of the girls was a bit browner than I wanted. But that's why you make them go in front of you. So once the piss purge was done we had a drinking contest. The first one to down a gallon of water got an extra autographed photo of me. You wouldn't believe how fast a Russian hooker can...

Cellmate: I DON'T CARE!!! SHUT UP!!!

1: Trump fires Rosenstein
2: Trump replaces Rosenstein with a flunky
3: Flunky fires Mueller
4: Flunky appoints flunky #2 to replace Mueller and others on Mueller's team who aren't on team Trump
5: Flunky #2 buries all evidence and ends the investigation by clearing Trump and everyone else involved of all possible crimes
6: Republicans rejoice and claim that all objections from Democrats are just criminally partisan toxic politics
7: All of Mueller's evidence gets "leaked" to NY State prosecutors and all hell breaks loose as Trump and his co-conspirators are charged on multiple counts in the state of New York
8: Constitutional crisis ensues
9: Dems take the House and Senate in 2018
10: Impeachment moves forward on obstruction of justice in late January 2019
11: Trump is impeached by the House (by party lines) and Senate (with a handful of Republican Senators voting to impeach to get past the 2/3 majority in exchange for #13) in early February
12: President Pence
13: Investigation into Russian influencing the election is ended. No investigation of laundered Russian money and influence funneling into the GOP

http://skyhorsepublishing.com/titles/13973-9781510740082-stones-rules

christ imagine taking style tips from roger stone of all people

the birth-certificate-less kenyan made the FBI frame me, and besides hillary's way more crooked than me anyways!

“salami tactics”

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/05/trump-is-taking-control-of-the-mueller-probe-in-slices.html

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/09/20/us/politics/russia-interference-election-trump-clinton.html