Adults talking like children to children

You like choo choo?
Choo choo train?
You know Thomas?
Yeah?
*makes farting sound*

what is with that. sounds like it really grinds your gears.

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.seinfeldscripts.com%2Fimages%2Fseinfeld1.jpg&f=1

calstars, this is such an amazing thread! i'm so proud of you!

What's the deal with adults who do this to every kid? The ones who will talk to like a ten year old in the same way? Were they never kids who felt creeped out when adults did that shit?

lol amateurist

xp

'Oh, you're in fifth grade now? Ohhhh, what a big boy you are!'

possibilities, ranked

children talking like children to children
children talking like children to adults
adults talking like adults to children
adults talking like adults to adults
children talking like adults to children
adults talking like children to children
adults talking like children to adults

... ∞ ...

children talking like adults to adults (aka, the worst genre of commercial which features a precocious genius 8-year-old telling you to buy a vehicle)

*neil hamburger voice*

I liked the sassy kid in that movie where Pacino plays a struggling playwrite

i guess i'm ok with smart children speaking like adults when they're around adults. you gotta start speaking like an adult at some point (or so i hear, at least), and you'll probably start doing that before you're technically an adult. so ok. but just don't give me kids whispering quotes from philosophers or blurbs from the back of self-help books, that freaks me the fuck out

"What if you could live the life...that you always imagined? what if instead of trying adjusting direction the wind, you could adjust your sails? what if there you owned a luxury vehicle named best in class 5 years in a row?"

ZOOM ZOOM

what if words came out right and sentence was good typing when it's computer time?

the "apparently" kid still rules, imo

Kids who can talk should always be addressed by adults with age-appropriate simplicity, not disrespectful babble. If you must use a word they are not likely to know, use it, then explain it. This stuff is not complicated to grasp. The only time an adult should get a pass for talking baby talk is when they are talking to a newborn infant, because in that case it's all about the tune, not the lyrics.

thank u miss manners

you got a better idea, then share it

i was just "kidding" you, i agree

i guess i'm ok with smart children speaking like adults when they're around adults. you gotta start speaking like an adult at some point (or so i hear, at least), and you'll probably start doing that before you're technically an adult. so ok. but just don't give me kids whispering quotes from philosophers or blurbs from the back of self-help books, that freaks me the fuck out

still hoping to get my 3yo daughter to tell her very right-wing grandfather "You'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes.'

in my experience the easiest way to get a child to be relaxed and comfortable around you (rather than nervous and shy) is to talk to them as if they are just slightly older than they actually are. It allows them to feel a little more grown-up and stops you (me) from feeling patronising and awkward.

i once saw...

adult points out dog to toddler - "look at the ickle woggy!"

Me: "What does the doggie say? Woof woof"
Alice (Age two) "Dad, that's not a real dog"

(Just went with her to get her GCSE's, A in Drama, B in Music, Cs in most everything else)

congratulations! pwning you on a much more regular basis now presumably?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqHjpAFKpgo

the easiest way to get a child to be relaxed and comfortable around you (rather than nervous and shy) is to talk to them as if they are just slightly older than they actually are

^^^knows what's up

just speak clearly, in unambiguous phrases, and be patient when they have trouble understanding what you mean. reciprocally, if you don't understand what they're saying, listen carefully for context clues and ask simple questions

basically act like small children are really drunk adults

ergo they belong in bars

but shouldn't be served, exactly

Ask a child what their 5 biggest problems are. After each answer, interrupt and explain one of your own 5 biggest problems, at great length. It's the only way children will ever learn.

Actually, that's pretty close to a lot of adult conversations

lol I was just talking to a coworker about our experiences with acquaintances who had been in recovery for different addictions and the varying levels of what people find problematic

John: "So this one time, I woke up naked in a field, and had no idea how I got there! I was mad at my friends"
George: "I woke up on a flight to New Orleans and didn't remember the preceding week and had no idea how I got there"

neither very childlike, but the distance between problems a normal childhood might give you and adulthood can definitely vary

I started working at a primary school and I’m amazed how many teachers do this. It’s just so stupid and you can tell the students hate it too.

as well they should. it's disrespectful

'Oh, you're in fifth grade now? Ohhhh, what a big boy you are!'

It’s like the fragile yes and the leave it yes are two completely I’m so glad I started this thread

Like two yeses on ilm in the US in the passing night

there's a daycare two doors up from me at which there's a lot of 'mommy has to go to work now!'

do wee children really understand things better in the third person or is that a weird affectation?

(* also a few daddies, tbf)

to a wee child proper nouns, when they are as familiar as mommy and daddy, are easier to understand than pronouns, which are weirdly context-bound in ways that proper nouns aren't. even adults can get a bit tangled up in who is meant by I and you when ostensibly referencing their interlocutor's pov, where when I say I, I mean to suggest what you might say or think, when interacting with, maybe, your boss, who we've been talking about for several minutes.

I spend a bit of time around one of my best friend's 7 and 5 year olds, who I've known since birth.

Have just talked to them normally the entire time, but maybe when you're the parent the temptation is greater to do the googoo gagaing?

Seven year old talks more like an 11 year old anyway and would probably be insulted

child liberation now - we need to stop talking down to kids in general and constantly denigrating and disrespecting their agency and feelings and ideas (which are often better and more interesting than those of the adults who get to own them as property for some fucked up reason)