Should I send money to my friend in India?

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I was in India some years ago, lived at a guest house for 3 months, had a private "maid" who cooked my meals and did my laundry. We became friends, I got invited for her kids' birthdays, I invited her family to a Chinese restaurant her kids really wanted to try.

She didn't have a lot of money, her husband was working as a painter but had some health issues. They lived in a very small house/hut. They were good people. After leaving I often thought of writing them, but only got to doing it last year. Never heard from them, but perhaps the mail got lost.

Recently joined Facebook, was able to find her there. Added her as friend, wrote her, we've been going a bit back and forth about life in general, she doesn't have much work these days, but her family is good. I'm still unmarried, but life is good.

She now writes that her daughter's 12th grade tuition is hard to pay and asks me for 7000 rupies, if I can please spare them. It's not an insignificant amount of money, but also not a lot of money to me (something like 100 Euros) so I can do it economically. Should I send her the money?

Writing this poll text makes me think the choice is simple enough - yes, send the money, you'd do it in a minute if it was one of your friends in Denmark asking for a loan. But when I got her Facebook message, it didn't feel too good. I've not seen her for so long, just wanted to hear about her family etc. and quickly the conversation turned "transactional". Maybe she's just being practical. I guess it's also because she's not exactly a close friend of mine, and it's weird to have a request like that coming from a somewhat distant friend.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Yes 7
No 3


niels, Saturday, 24 September 2016 08:32 (nine years ago)

i really fancy a sweet and sour blood sausage right now

you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 24 September 2016 08:35 (nine years ago)

tough.

i'd frame it as a christmas gift. and maybe give half of it. I don't think I would mind supporting a poor friend with a 50 bucks christmas gift every year, but I would hate it if this person would send me FB messages every couple of months, with a story about education, health, insurance, asking me for more money (this sounds vaguely racist, or maybe not so vaguely , but this does not seem like a very unlikely scenario in this case)

Ludo, Saturday, 24 September 2016 09:50 (nine years ago)

that's a good idea, framing it as a christmas gift

niels, Saturday, 24 September 2016 11:14 (nine years ago)

:-)

Ludo, Saturday, 24 September 2016 13:01 (nine years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Sunday, 25 September 2016 00:01 (nine years ago)

Not voting as it can only be your decision. If you end up not giving the money and feel bad, you could always then give an equivalent amount to a charity?

Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 25 September 2016 00:12 (nine years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 26 September 2016 00:01 (nine years ago)

I'll do half as a birthday present

niels, Monday, 26 September 2016 06:03 (nine years ago)


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