If you died and went to Hell - a Poll

this is a trick of satan

and there would be no ILX to expose the trickery to warn others from suffering the same fate.

(cos I figure at least 83% of us will be in Hell)

let's say i am in hell, because i am. my cellmate has 3 faces, ashen, boiler red, and mutant lime, and 6 arms, holding a skull bowl of blood, tipped scale, broken scythe, vaguely familiar head, spoiled goat meat, and a beating heart, respectively. each day i follow a new dim light, listen to instructions, and fall asleep in a new cell with a new unholy ghoul.

http://i.imgur.com/HubjrVm.gif
but he still finds me on occasion. between every visit i become obsessed with his message, seek the truth in hellish rituals, and eventually forget his face and his words. every time i see him again it is like the first time. i have lost count. this time he tells me that i can go to heaven. maybe he tells me this every time. all i have to do is go back in time and prevent ILX from existing.

i seek counsel in my demon cellmate, who responds after some time by offering the objects held by its middle set of arms. i dip my bones into the skull bowl of blood and immediately understand. the ILX is basically a Honda Civic, it is a really nice Civic, featuring an interior with upgraded materials. The sole powertrain is a 201-hp 2.4-liter four-cylinder with front-wheel drive. The transmission is a dual-clutch eight-speed automatic; a manual is not available. The automatic is smooth and gives the ILX more of a calm and adult demeanor, which is a welcome change from the previous generation’s high-strung character. The ILX offers value for the money versus the competition. how could i destroy this? i tell st. peter that he is welcome to spend the night, but i will not, cannot take part in a brand of destruction that is counter to my brand of choice, the Acura ILX. when i wake the next morning he is already gone and i follow the dim light toward a new set of faces.

Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? NEVER!

If the angels swore to preserve KM's post on a satin pillow inside of a glass case filled with lilac scented air, I would pack my bindle with fudge rounds and proceed merrily into hell's steamy opening.

ilxor's basilisk

i love you guys, honestly i do, but faced with the prospect of eternal damnation i'd throw the board under the bus quicker than you could say 'wallogina'

wal-UH-juh-nuh

secondary question - would eliminating ILX send the majority of would-be hellbound ILXors on a different, possibly heavenbound path? or would more of them be doomed?

trick question, we are already in hell

nah the board is less Britisher than it used to be, you forget

xxp It would make no difference. If you would be an ILXor given the chance, God regards that as just as bad as being an ILXor.

my god zs

but what if ILX IS HELL

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Other (minimum 3 paragraph explanation) 3

i notice that 2 voters failed to follow the rules here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdsJUxVIANk

your post more than made up for that shiz

thank you! but i still think the other two people should burn in hell. it's only fair.

in due time. in dueeeee time.

St Peterrrrr means nothing to me.

That image haunts my dreams

I'm pretty sure I'm already there.

let's say i am in hell, because i am. my cellmate has 3 faces, ashen, boiler red, and mutant lime, and 6 arms, holding a skull bowl of blood, tipped scale, broken scythe, vaguely familiar head, spoiled goat meat, and a beating heart, respectively. each day i follow a new dim light, listen to instructions, and fall asleep in a new cell with a new unholy ghoul.

http://i.imgur.com/HubjrVm.gif
but he still finds me on occasion. between every visit i become obsessed with his message, seek the truth in hellish rituals, and eventually forget his face and his words. every time i see him again it is like the first time. i have lost count. this time he tells me that i can go to heaven. maybe he tells me this every time. all i have to do is go back in time and prevent ILX from existing.

i seek counsel in my demon cellmate, who responds after some time by offering the objects held by its middle set of arms. i dip my bones into the skull bowl of blood and immediately understand. the ILX is basically a Honda Civic, it is a really nice Civic, featuring an interior with upgraded materials. The sole powertrain is a 201-hp 2.4-liter four-cylinder with front-wheel drive. The transmission is a dual-clutch eight-speed automatic; a manual is not available. The automatic is smooth and gives the ILX more of a calm and adult demeanor, which is a welcome change from the previous generation’s high-strung character. The ILX offers value for the money versus the competition. how could i destroy this? i tell st. peter that he is welcome to spend the night, but i will not, cannot take part in a brand of destruction that is counter to my brand of choice, the Acura ILX. when i wake the next morning he is already gone and i follow the dim light toward a new set of faces.

― I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Wednesday, November 2, 2016 1:53 AM (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink

choked laughing reading this

seriously hall of fame worthy

choked laughing reading this

seriously hall of fame worthy

otm. revived this just to let others enjoy Karl's superb post

so good

If the angels swore to preserve KM's post on a satin pillow inside of a glass case filled with lilac scented air, I would pack my bindle with fudge rounds and proceed merrily into hell's steamy opening.

― My son has a confession to make. It's about your waffles. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, November 2, 2016 12:36 PM (three years ago)

cosign

Yet another MVP for Karl Malone.