The best candies are the once that threaten to pull out/damage your teeth when you eat them

nerds

the GOAT

http://i1.walesonline.co.uk/incoming/article11024677.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/toffetsd.jpg

i like chocolate

thats like toffifee

it's okay to like chocolate but it's undeniably true that chocolate would be better if it was also capable of pulling out your teeth with a careless chew

Yes, like Riesen is the perfect, delicious synthesis of chocolate and grill-destroying road tar.

I fucking hate toffee/taffy. Jolly Ranchers and jawbreakers are OK but nothing I'm attached to. Going with the second option.

hate all of these

this is also why the best candy bars are Charleston Chew and 100 Grand

(honorable mention to Heath bar/Skor)

emeralds. actually lost a premolar to one

Sweettarts were always my favorite all time candy, but they are relatively general. But I also loved Gobstoppers, which could be challenging until you go to the sweettart like center.

I love the flavor of Sweettarts; I will allow them since the probability that you will cut the inside of your mouth/your gumline while eating them is approximately 95%

This thread is making me hungry for a Butterfinger.

Dan do you also feel the best roller coasters are the ones without lap bars

love the flavor of Sweettarts; I will allow them since the probability that you will cut the inside of your mouth/your gumline while eating them is approximately 95%

― ¶ (DJP), Monday, January 9, 2017 3:46 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this was my favorite candy as a kid until I ate so much one night I almost vomited.

now it's my second favorite

jujubes

U FORGOT MILK DUDS

I lost two of my baby teeth to those fucking things. On separate occasions.

MILK DUDS RULE

I will never understand some people's tastes in sweets.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

WIMPS

toothache is soul-destroying tbf

true

OTOH, candy is a wonderful replacement for a soul

Milk duds are for tourists
Sugar Daddys are the real masochists delight

right next to the stale Now & Later's left over from people's kids' Halloween bags that usually come out right about now

I always think of Jolly Ranchers as hard candy, what we call boiled sweets. should've had an option for roof-of-the-mouth ulcers from sucking on too many of those

wait, so what would you consider to be "candy"

Those Highland Toffee bars surely win this thread

There were once calls for McCowan’s to make a Highland Toffee surf board

A surfer’s website once called for McCowan’s to make a disposable anti-shark Surfboard, made entirely from Highland Toffee. They suggested that any shark attacking such a board would find its teeth so gummed together that it would be unable to attack the surfer who could then escape.

The idea prompted Alan McCafferty, who owned the company at that point to respond: ”If there’s a profit in toffee surfboards, I’ll make them.”

wait, so what would you consider to be "candy"

sorry i thought the whole thread was about chewy stuff and there was some weird Jolly Rancher i'd never seen

ah, no this is about all types of confectionery that can wreak havoc on your mouth, hard or chewy

(there are Jolly Rancher chews out there, tho)

lol why did I create this poll

It was a simpler time

I lost a filling to a Jujubee.

These results are messed up. It’s not like you can’t brush your teeth right after you spoil them.

there’s a great scene in the Guided By Voices documentary where Mitch Mitchell is brushing his teeth and keeps pausing periodically to take a drag off a cigarette

These results are messed up. It’s not like you can’t brush your teeth right after you spoil them.

― pomenitul, Friday, December 18, 2020 12:50 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

we're talking the kind of candy that breaks your teeth when you bite or rips out something out you open your mouth after biting down. not sugar content

^^^^

my sister got me a bag of sockerbit for christmas; it's real good

Ah, my bad. I would like to revise my opinion, then: these results are very much correct.

I love Bit-o-Honey but I'm afraid they'll rip my molars out.

I pulled out (and ruined) a crown eating a Milk Dud

never again