C/D: holding a phone in front of your face as if it were a slice of pizza

So there is this... WAY that I keep seeing people holding a phone that they're speaking into. Not against the side of the head like a phone handset, but rather horizontally, with spidered fingers, in front of the mouth. Presumably so as to project the voice more directly into the mic.

I further assume the phone is on speaker so the user can hear the other person. Seems like it may be a needful expedient in poor sound conditions, but it looks strange. Whenever I see people doing this I think it looks like they're about to eat a slice of pizza.

I don't think I have ever done this. Is it better?

Everybody does this on The Apprentice.

i was gonna say that this is the unmistakable mark of the world-class dickhead but then aldo basically said the same thing

My sister does this. So does my landlady. Both of them struggle with auditory processing in person . I have armchair-theorized that maybe the cell phone pizza-hold places the phone speaker in a position similar to a coversation partner's lips. On speakerphone this might provide a more binaural experience. Alternatively, it might help provide a better mental model of the person speaking through the phone. Or not.

i'm generally against summary executions but people who do this deserve much worse

Yeah, how dare people hold their cell phones slightly differently? Reckless assholes.

C/D: holding a slice of pizza to your ear as if it were a phone

hilarious tho

to clarify, i'm only talking about people who have it on speaker. if the person has auditory comprehension issues, they can have a pass

Yeah I think I first noticed this in some dumb documentary about Jared Leto's band, and I thought it looked douchey. Because, y'know, Jared Manbun. He is the subject of a documentary but he is also like the producer, and it was supposed to be about his stupid band's effort to Keep It Real and Not Sell Out. And he's having all these earnest pizzaphone conversations. Of course he knew was being filmed, so perhaps the phone posture was to permit the filming of both sides of the conversation. But because I just basically think he should shut up and die, it influenced my perception.

But when I was first posting about it, I consciously avoided saying "it looks douchey" because, hey, maybe my 20 favorite people do this, and for perfectly good audio related reasons. Maybe MLK and Gandhi and Carrie Brownstein and Jesus and Nelson Mandela do this with their phones. I dunno. Hence the open-ended question.

i'm going to wilfully misread that post and believe forevermore that jared leto is one of your favourite 20 people

@ye mad puffin: lol u love jared leto

True fact: he went to my high school and I have precisely no memory of him.

Eat a slice of pizza with fork and knife, you savages.

My phone usually has headphones plugged into it, so this is the only way to hold it.

wow ban alfred

Bill de Blasio and I know what's up.

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1878080.1406163950!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/nyc-mayor-pizza.jpg

Don't see any rocket on that pizza.

the rocket is the one eating the pizza iirc

(lil' west-of-scotland epithet for u there folks)

TS: "When a person one generally admires commits an act of brazen barbarism, it makes that act acceptable" vs. "When a person one generally admires commits an act of brazen barbarism, one should stop admiring that person."

flip side TS, is an admirable act sullied when practiced by a despicable person

related: people in movies who hold a handgun sideways on

Let's go whole hog and just shove phones into our mouths and walk around sticking out bleepy-bloopy electronic tongues.

(BTW I feel that one can SOMETIMES fork-eat SOME OF a very messy, very floppy, or very hot slice of pizza. However, the practice is to be avoided at all costs, and abandoned as soon as practicable. Also, it is rarely necessary with a well-made pizza, so if a fork must be used it is often more the fault of the pie, rather than the diner.)

eh go stick Swiss cheese on your cheesesteak sandwich

Are there pineapples on my phone?

Pizzaphone, hands free not pictured.

https://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/5133384/il_570xN.249428828.jpg

Remember the Nokia N-Gage?
Because sidetalking.com still exists!
http://www.sidetalking.com/photos.html

TS: pizzaphone vs burgerphone FITE

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eBVKe_XI7jw/Sluok42r4hI/AAAAAAAAAC4/VMhTZiEeY_M/s400/juno-06-431x300.jpg

more novelty food-phones incorrectly angled:

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18iluf6kvwb5kjpg/original.jpg

S/D phones shaped like food

this is like ppl who hold a gun sideways they think they look cooler doing it not related to functionality

Newsflash eating food with cutlery is fine, pizza very clearly a food that sometimes asks to be eaten with it and sometimes not, making a big show of having an opinion on whether ppl do so is fatally lame on the level of pretending to hate the word moist

itt I learned that Alfred eats his phone with a knife and fork

at times I wish I could stab it with a fork.

this is a fine look, I don't see a problem

stay outta Gotham, pizza cutlery yokels

don't people do this cos they're paranoid types who think omg cellphones give u BRAIN CANCARRRR

that would make so much sense but i don't think it explains everything

I just did this a few minutes ago with my iPad because I wanted to listen to a song in sort-of-stereo and was too lazy to go get my headphones
although it was more like I was holding a big flatbread up to my nose, not eating a slice of pizza, to be specific

In NY, as I understand it, you are supposed to roll your phone into a U-shape before speaking into it.