best over the counter sexual enhancement product found to be dangerous by the FDA

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The FDA has been hard at work evaluating sexual-enhancement drugs: https://t.co/cS6W0kU2UJ pic.twitter.com/8IRLw4EVtB
— Harper's Magazine (@Harpers) July 18, 2017

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Bigger Longer More Time Sperms	12
Miraculous Evil Root	2
Eyeful	2
Night Man	2
Hard Ten Days	2
Weekend Warrior	1
Dick's Hard Up	1
Hard Wang	1
Big Penis Male	1
Lightning ROD	1
O.M.G.	1
Cave Diver	1
Alpha Male	0
Anaconda	0
Nights to Remember	0
Mojo Nights	0
Stiff Days	0
Instant Hard Rod	0
Big N Hard	0

― I want to change my display name (dan m), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:14 (seven years ago)

Almost voted 'Bigger Longer More Time Sperms' (sounds like an album by The Fall), but went for 'Lightning ROD' bc of hilarious emphasis

― flappy bird, Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:22 (seven years ago)

Because of the Hard Wang...

― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:26 (seven years ago)

Time traveling sperms do seem like they would pose a danger

― jmm, Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:28 (seven years ago)

Big Penis Male...penis enough for a female but pH balanced for a male.

― Dippin' Sauce on my Nice New Slacks (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:29 (seven years ago)

I can't help but feel that "Cave Diver" is a missed opportunity for something like "Hol(e)y Diver"

― I want to change my display name (dan m), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:31 (seven years ago)

looking forward to Pixar's delightfully whimsical Big Penis Male

― i predict a griot (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:32 (seven years ago)

Some of these names are pretty much just: Hard Penis Pill (For Men Who Have a Penis).

― Dippin' Sauce on my Nice New Slacks (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:35 (seven years ago)

I wonder if there's one with no actual name but just a picture of an index finger entering the hole formed by the index finger and thumb of the other hand. Guys should be able to figure that one out, right?

― Dippin' Sauce on my Nice New Slacks (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:36 (seven years ago)

one of those giant foam index fingers, surely?

― over-the-counter sexual-harassment products (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:37 (seven years ago)

Dick's Hard Up
...because he's spent all his money on over the counter sexual enhancement products.

― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:38 (seven years ago)

was hoping that "Dick's Hard Up" would been packaged in some delightful horrible-70s-album style packaging featuring a character called Dick, but apparently it looked like this:

https://www.fda.gov/ucm/groups/fdagov-public/documents/image/ucm399605.jpg

― soref, Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:39 (seven years ago)

he could be holding out his empty trouser pockets, but also his fly is open, showing his massive erect penis

― soref, Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:44 (seven years ago)

can I get a BLmTs pls

― jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 18:52 (seven years ago)

Hard Ten Days should probably just be called Future Eunuch.

― Dippin' Sauce on my Nice New Slacks (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 19:03 (seven years ago)

lmao holy shit soref

― flappy bird, Tuesday, 18 July 2017 21:05 (seven years ago)

So many of these are great. It's tough to choose against "Bigger Longer More Time Sperms" or "Big Penis Male", but I think I may have to go with the subtler charm of "Eyeful".

― JRN, Tuesday, 18 July 2017 21:29 (seven years ago)

this reads like the track listing for a throbbingly homoerotic hair metal concept album

― a brief spurt of enthusiasm (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 18 July 2017 21:57 (seven years ago)

Sad this one isn't on the list, it's my favorite ridiculous supplement: https://www.amazon.com/Vigor-Labs-Ball-Refill-Capsules/dp/B002KK3D1G
"Male volumizer"

― El Tuomasbot (milo z), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 02:38 (seven years ago)

i had no idea semen volumizers were a product category good lord

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 19 July 2017 02:54 (seven years ago)

Just what every sexual partner wants - more to clean up.

― El Tuomasbot (milo z), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 03:10 (seven years ago)

I believe I finally understand what you humans call 'love'.

― Dippin' Sauce on my Nice New Slacks (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 03:39 (seven years ago)

The 'Stiff Days, Mojo Nights' combo has a certain ring to it

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 07:13 (seven years ago)

If you enjoy visual stimulation: "Eyeful" produces an ambitiously designed iron tower for you to feast your gaze upon.

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 07:25 (seven years ago)

my favorite is stree overlord, primarily for its packaging depicting street fighter's Ryu banging street fighter's Chun Li.
https://www.consumerhealthdigest.com/male-enhancement-reviews/stree-overlord.html

― ian, Wednesday, 19 July 2017 21:21 (seven years ago)

Hahaha omg

― I want to change my display name (dan m), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 23:17 (seven years ago)

For some reason this thread reminds me of this thread:
Best title for an actual Aerosmith bootleg

― calstars, Wednesday, 19 July 2017 23:22 (seven years ago)

tbf about half of these could work as aerosmith song titles at least

― I want to change my display name (dan m), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 23:24 (seven years ago)

That is ironic because my favorite over-the-counter sexual enhancement product is Honkin' on Bobo.

― Mandal Envy (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 23:51 (seven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Monday, 24 July 2017 00:01 (seven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 00:01 (seven years ago)

bigger longer more time RESULTS

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 00:01 (seven years ago)

never in doubt

― I want to change my display name (dan m), Tuesday, 25 July 2017 00:10 (seven years ago)

Cave Diver got robbed

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, 25 July 2017 00:19 (seven years ago)

Instant Hard Rod got shafted

― flappy bird, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 02:43 (seven years ago)

The 'Stiff Days, Mojo Nights' combo has a certain ring to it

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, July 19, 2017 8:13 AM (six days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://u3.photofunia.com/2/results/6/V/6VEH4Tyb2TJ6eGOMu0RHnw_r.jpg

― soref, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 13:04 (seven years ago)

the subtle horror of 'hard ten days'

― 龜, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 13:07 (seven years ago)

too much hard one

― ogmor, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 13:25 (seven years ago)

Big Penis Male makes a good closing track, spelling out in literal terms what the album's been trying to get at.

― jmm, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 13:31 (seven years ago)

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