POLL: Best Flavor Of DoD Program Analyst

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There is no more important thing you could be doing while the Pax Americana is being eaten alive from the inside by a loser than to select your favorite parenthical program analyst (GS-0343) from this carefully curated list of jobs that people have advertised, other people have applied for, and that some people are doing right now, in service of their beloved country. A tip of the hat to FASCLASS (https://acpol2.army.mil/fasclass/search_fs/search_fasclass.asp).

Poll Results

Option	Votes
PROGRAM ANALYST (HERALDRY)	11
PROGRAM ANALYST (LEAN SIX SIGMA MASTER BLACK BELT)	4
PROGRAM ANALYST (SUBSTANCE ABUSE)	2
PROGRAM ANALYST (CONTINUITY OF OPERATIONS)	2
PROGRAM ANALYST (TECHNICAL EXPLOITATION)	2
PROGRAM ANALYST (PLANS)	1
PROGRAM ANALYST (SCRUM)	1
PROGRAM ANALYST (ROBOTICS)	1
PROGRAM ANALYST (INTERNATIONAL ARMIES)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (POLICY/STANDARDS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FISCAL PROGRAMS-REAL ESTATE)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (ACQUISITION)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (INTERNAL REVIEW)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (COMBAT TRAINING)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (LEGISLATIVE STRATEGIST)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (QUALITY MANAGEMENT)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (PERSONNEL RECOVERY)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FAMILY SUPPORT PROGRAMS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (CYBER TARGETING)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (ANALYTICAL LABORATORY SYSTEM)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (INTERNATIONAL MEDICAL SUPPORT CBRN)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (ENVIRONMENTAL TECHNOLOGY)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FOIA/PRIVACY ACT)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (ACADEMIC AND INSTITUTIONAL ASSESSMENT)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FORCE STRUCTURE)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (COMMAND PLAN MANAGER)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (SECURITY/OPERATIONS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (AMMUNITION OPERATIONS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (TRAINING/MANPOWER)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (PROCESS IMPROVEMENT)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (CONTRACT MANAGEMENT)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (DEPUTY DIRECTOR BIOSURVEILLANCE)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (TRAVEL PROGRAM MANAGER)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (INTERNATIONAL TEST STANDARDIZATION)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (WELLNESS/INCENTIVE AWARDS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FOOD PROTECTION)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (ORGANIZATIONAL INTEGRATOR)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FIRES AND AIR/MISSLE DEFENSE ORG INTEGRATOR)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (WORKFORCE DEVELOPMENT)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (BUSINESS PARTNER)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (FORENSICS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (AUDIT READINESS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (INTERN)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (SECURITY/OPERATIONS)	0
PROGRAM ANALYST (TEST AND EVALUATION)	0

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 01:39 (seven years ago)

Does SCRUM work on the DoD's rugby team tactics?

― El Tuomasbot (milo z), Thursday, 3 August 2017 01:48 (seven years ago)

It used to, but now that's in the ROBOTICS wheelhouse

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 01:48 (seven years ago)

i'm personally most into food protection and substance abuse so i'll probably go with one of those

― the late great, Thursday, 3 August 2017 01:51 (seven years ago)

I voted HERALDRY because if not for that, all of these options would be HITLER

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 02:34 (seven years ago)

LEAN SIX SIGMA MASTER BLACK BELT

― crüt, Thursday, 3 August 2017 04:24 (seven years ago)

oh wait that's not a martial arts position

― crüt, Thursday, 3 August 2017 04:25 (seven years ago)

Shit I wanted heraldry cos it sounds sinister, but it's got took I fear

― popcorn michael awaits trumptweet (Hunt3r), Thursday, 3 August 2017 04:46 (seven years ago)

"PLANS" have potential, but only potential?

― popcorn michael awaits trumptweet (Hunt3r), Thursday, 3 August 2017 04:48 (seven years ago)

Plans are nothing, planning is everything.

Speaking of which doesn't it seem odd that they apparently banned gerunds from these?

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 10:53 (seven years ago)

Well CYBER TARGETING is there i guess

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 10:54 (seven years ago)

SUBSTANCE ABUSE obv

― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 3 August 2017 10:57 (seven years ago)

luv2abuse substances

― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 3 August 2017 10:57 (seven years ago)

wtf is BIOSURVEILLANCE, sounds kinda... invasive

― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 3 August 2017 11:16 (seven years ago)

Sniff
Sniff sniff
SNIFFFF

what are you doing, private?

Uh, i am conducting BIOSURVEILLANCE, sar'nt!

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 11:22 (seven years ago)

Chrome doesn't like that URL:

Your connection is not private

Attackers might be trying to steal your information from acpol2.army.mil (for example, passwords, messages, or credit cards). NET::ERR_CERT_WEAK_SIGNATURE_ALGORITHM

Somebody in CYBER TARGETING might want to get on that

― Brad C., Thursday, 3 August 2017 12:24 (seven years ago)

voted Heraldry

― it me, Thursday, 3 August 2017 15:40 (seven years ago)

Substance abuse sounds fun

― Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Thursday, 3 August 2017 16:14 (seven years ago)

PROGRAM ANALYST (WELLNESS/INCENTIVE AWARDS) runs the office "Biggest Loser" contest, right?

― Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Thursday, 3 August 2017 16:15 (seven years ago)

Administers various health promotion-related surveys through development and fielding of survey instruments; prepares reports based on data obtained from surveys; and briefs command leadership on wellness trends. Studies and evaluates the interests and needs of the civilian workforce necessary for development of a comprehensive command wellness program and remains current on new developments in the field. Independently develops, performs, and analyzes needs assessments for program planning, health risk identification, resources and cost requirements, and establishment of priorities and outcome objectives for health promotion and wellness programs.
...
Develops and conducts command-wide health fairs. Arranges for guest speakers on health topics, health education/wellness screening services, and other activities relevant to health fitness. Provides newcomer briefings on all health and wellness services offered and briefs management and command personnel on program services.
Monitors costs and trends related to on the job injuries. Provides detailed analysis on cause and resulting nature of injuries.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 17:53 (seven years ago)

'FIRES AND AIR/MISSLE DEFENSE ORG INTEGRATOR', by The Fall

― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 3 August 2017 18:00 (seven years ago)

UP THE STAIRS MISTER
FIRES AND AIR/MISSLE DEFENSE ORG INTEGRATOR

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 3 August 2017 23:31 (seven years ago)

TECHNICAL EXPLOITATION sounds good

― Gaspard de la Nuit: III. ScarJost (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 4 August 2017 00:07 (seven years ago)

I'm surprised nobody has remarked upon the inherent conflicts of interest embedded in the role of LEGISLATIVE STRATEGIST inside the Pentagon apparatus

― El Tomboto, Friday, 4 August 2017 22:05 (seven years ago)

TECHNICAL EXPLOITATION

― mh, Friday, 4 August 2017 23:03 (seven years ago)

Personnel Recovery, as the sum of military, diplomatic, and civil efforts to prepare for and execute the recovery and reintegration of isolated personnel, is based on the five pillar actions of Report, Locate, Support, Recover and Reintegrate.

― El Tomboto, Saturday, 5 August 2017 18:01 (seven years ago)

lean six or gtfo imo

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Saturday, 5 August 2017 18:11 (seven years ago)

HERALDRY obvi

― softie (silby), Sunday, 6 August 2017 05:32 (seven years ago)

I want to change my vote to AUDIT READINESS because I think that might actually be the key to world peace

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 10 August 2017 03:25 (seven years ago)

Voted CONTINUITY OF OPERATIONS in case they into all that post-WW3 stuff.

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 10 August 2017 06:37 (seven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 00:01 (seven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Wednesday, 16 August 2017 00:01 (seven years ago)

ILX mostly right for once

― As an ilxor, I am uncompromising (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 16 August 2017 00:37 (seven years ago)

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