Black Bear Gnaws on Delta 15s Seakayak in Berg Bay, Alaska

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Poll Results

Option	Votes
PLEASE STOP BEAR! It's the end of September! Why are you here? You're supposed to be asleep!	7
IT'S NOT EVEN FOOD, IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE GOOD. IT'S JUST PLASTIC!	2
uhHAIGH, PLEASE STOP BREAKING MY THING BEAR! BEAR!	2
Why are you here?!? AAAAIIGH!	2
BEAR! BEAR! BEAR! BEAR! BEAR PLEASE STOP!	2
PLEASE STOP! GOSH DARN IT! AAAAIIIGH WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!? BEAR PLEASE STOP!	2
Thank you for leaving my kayak alone. I'm going to pepper spray you in the face.	1
BEAR, PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP BEAR! BEAR, PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP THAT BEAR!	1
Bear! Bear you're breaking it! You're breaking my kayak!	1
PLEASE STOP BREAKING MY THINGS, IT'S NOT,	1
Get away from that kayak. Come here!	1
BEAR, I DON'T CARE, I'M GONNA BEAR SPRAY YOU, PLEASE STOP!	0
That's what I'm gonna do to you.	0
Go away! No! Get away from the kayak.	0
BEAR STOP THAT PLEASE STOP THAT BEAR! BEAR PLEASE STOP THAT PLEASE STOP BREAKING MY THING!	0
BEAR STOP THAT! BEAR STOP THAT!	0
BEAR! BEAR! STOP THAT! STOP THAT! BEAR STOP THAT! BEEEEEEEEAR!	0
Come on. Stop it bear. Stop it! Bear!	0
BEAR STOP THAT! STOP THAT BEAR! BEAR, STOP! STOP BREAKING MY KAYAK, PLEEEEASE!	0
WHY ARE YOU BREAKING MY KAYAK?!? STOP IT!!!	0
WHY ARE YOU BREAKING MY KAYAK?!? WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?	0
Why are you doing that!?! Why are you breaking my kayak?	0

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:24 (seven years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5cMZymSr0

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:24 (seven years ago)

this is one of the greatest videos ever shared on social media

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:25 (seven years ago)

also essential: http://verysmartbrothas.com/why-the-kayak-eating-bear-is-the-blackest-thing-ive-ever-seen-this-week/

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:26 (seven years ago)

He’s a bear, sure, but I’m sure his name wasn’t “Bear.” He actually looks like his name would be “Maxwell.”

feel like we need a side poll on what this bear’s name is tbh

― hi i’m darren and i’m a bouncer from bendigo (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:29 (seven years ago)

it is odd that I can't watch this without feeling like it's a statement about privilege but them's the times we're living in i suppose

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:29 (seven years ago)

reading these poll options out, it kinda feels like it should be a children's book

― Οὖτις, Friday, 1 December 2017 21:35 (seven years ago)

Your Million Dollar Idea for Today

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:36 (seven years ago)

It would be a nice experience to turn a big giant page after each line.

― Evan, Friday, 1 December 2017 21:37 (seven years ago)

so much depends on that isolated anguished AAAAIIGH!

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:40 (seven years ago)

write-in vote for the sound-effect of the pepper spray

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Friday, 1 December 2017 22:15 (seven years ago)

also I must admit I've had conversations with my toddlers that have followed a similar dramatic arc, only without the pepper spray

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Friday, 1 December 2017 22:21 (seven years ago)

Why are you here?!? AAAAIIGH!

― brimstead, Saturday, 2 December 2017 01:15 (seven years ago)

She seems distressed.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 2 December 2017 01:20 (seven years ago)

Just after she lamely tries to pepper spray the bear, she commands it to "come here!"

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 2 December 2017 01:26 (seven years ago)

hard lmao @ "IT'S THE END OF SEPTEMBER YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING"

― flappy bird, Saturday, 2 December 2017 02:15 (seven years ago)

great, great video indeed

also I'm glad she uploaded it herself and is presumably cool w/ it being perceived as funny and also that we all know nothing happened to her (I would have been absolutely terrified)

― niels, Saturday, 2 December 2017 09:16 (seven years ago)

voted for the coda:

BEAR! BEAR! BEAR! BEAR! BEAR PLEASE STOP!

― niels, Saturday, 2 December 2017 09:16 (seven years ago)

I was worried that her pleading/recriminating would make her sound like a wounded animal...

― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Saturday, 2 December 2017 09:31 (seven years ago)

three weeks pass...

bump because you guys need to be thinking about this

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 29 December 2017 22:53 (seven years ago)

PLEASE STOP BEAR! It's the end of September! Why are you here? You're supposed to be asleep!

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Saturday, 30 December 2017 02:37 (seven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Monday, 1 January 2018 00:01 (seven years ago)

Time is rapidly running out.

― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 1 January 2018 23:41 (seven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 00:01 (seven years ago)

a clear winner!

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 00:19 (seven years ago)

three years pass...

please stop bear

― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Friday, 16 April 2021 19:09 (four years ago)

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