Barfly Best Practices

A companion thread to Bartender Best Practices

what happened to bar etiquette

before you leave you gotta stick $20 in the Doggie Diamonds machine. I swear it's gonna hit any day now.

When unsure if a bar is open, approach from the opposite side of the street because

be sure to lock the bathroom door before snorting that cocaine

and if you do get caught, offer to share

tip your fucking bartender

with w33d

if they smoke it, then definitely

should be a list thread?

corollary to the above: don't smoke weed in the bar, not even in the smoking area

A quick shake of salt on your cocktail napkin keeps it from sticking to the bottom of your glass.

You can use a straw to try someone else's drink without germ concerns (insert a straw, plug the top end with your thumb, lift it out and sample).

Ear wax and nose oil are good for dispelling bubbles (rub your nose or put your finger in your ear, then put the finger into excessively heady beer).

The old "dollar per drink" tip makes sense only for beer and rail drinks. 20% of pretax total is best for tabs that include more attentive service (hand muddling, etc.).

Coffee-based drinks consumed in the evening will usually be made with really terrible coffee.

If you don't want people to talk to you, work on a crossword puzzle or prop up a book on a condiment caddy. Protip: choose a very boring book or one with a nondescript cover, so no one tries to initiate conversation with "whatcha readin'?"

If there is a TV tuned to Fox (even if it is muted) ask for it to be changed.

if it doesn't fold, it isn't a tip (exceptions for regulars may apply)

Depends on the amount

this thread and the weather today make me want to go spend a few hours at my local tbh

haha otm

See you there dude

Sometimes a regular sitting near the taps gets to have a partial beer left by a dead keg (and yes it is still a free drink that you should consider when tipping).

General tipping guidance (may not apply for non-USians) is that you shouldn't try to punish a bad service experience with an insultingly small tip because you end up screwing over people who were not responsible.

If you had three glasses of the same wine, you could have bought the bottle.

Note: UK-style "and for yourself?" tipping does not work well in USian bars, as the bar staff is usually not drinking during working hours. I have seen people try to do it and it fell flat.

cocktail napkins are so beyond horrible, there is this wonderful invention called the coaster...

Who knows what life is or where it’s going
So cheers

Always pay with cash. This eliminates the risks of:

- Forgetting your credit card
- the bartender taking advantage of your inebriation to overcharge you

Also bar staff (and other service workers) have better visibility into what happens to cash than to credit/debit charges.

Oh and speaking of inebriation: if a bartender offers to call a cab for you, DON'T ARGUE. If they think you need a cab then you need a frickin cab.

if taking a car to the bar, park or get dropped off a block away and arrive by foot. No one likes a VIP.

When an interested party asks how old you think they are, subtract 5 from your gut feeling

If you are the only person left in the bar very close to closing time...please leave.

If there is more than one bartender
Choose one, preferably the older,
And when it comes time for subsequent rounds,
Always order from the same one,
To increase the chance of buy backs

May have changed opinions on paying with a card vs cash. I only got charged for 3 while consuming 5 today. Maybe the Card allows the bartender to keep the discounts on the DL, thereby rewarding good tipping regulars without being subject to the inquisitiveness of nosy fuckers at the bar who keep track of this shit

one thing i genuinely never know is whether bartenders prefer to be tipped in cash or just adding it on the card

Re: paying with cash vs a card -
In the past few weeks I’ve been undercharged and overcharged using a card. I think it’s probably better just using cash

Testing the new bartender on buyback etiquette

I hate having to use a card at the bar. plus if they want to comp you a drink let them do so with a wink and a hand motion, not in a way that makes you think it could have been a "user error"

If it's a quiet afternoon, testing the new bartender on their Old Fashioneds.

Stick with one bartender, especially if she pours them well

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

very otm

very incomprehensible

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts. (Speaking in USian terms.)

Two twenties and two tens says sic is not a barfly

I thought sic was just referring to the business of tipping itself

Is sic a British? I forget.

sic is an Australian on long-term loan to Seattle

let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

none of this comes close to explaining what "don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts" means

also

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

I assumed the same re calstars' model so you are additionally saying that your entire explanation is not intended to explain it?

(plus yeah re tombot

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.

a slightly more elegant model is: pay a listed price for things.)

If carrying a cash balance on the bar itself, add new bills by placing them perpendicular, on the side of the bartender, to your stack of smaller bills.

Confirm your tip with the bartender. Never leave cash unattended.

I don’t worry about shift changes and tipping. I drink at the same bar all the time. They all know I got them overall.

Smoove Jeff
Respeck

can I get a buyback or what

Cal yr top tier single malt

Make a double, neat chief

When you’re on your 7th and wondering when the right time is to leave, do so whenever one of the following events occur:
- you belch loudly, causing a moment of silence to be observed around you
- navigation and walking control becomes difficult, possibly resulting in collisions with others
- you spill your drink on your running cash tab

then again, if i am the most sober person (usually) and you cannot be trusted to do math bc u been drinking, i will do it

A safe assumption

Stack your cash tips in single file if the service doesn’t pick up after each round. A mess of singles could give the wrong impression.

Each time you visit a regular spot, alternate between paying cash and with a card. Eventually you will be able to earn a free drink — either via the bartender assuming you’re paying with a card, or via plausible deniability that you forgot which payment method you’re using.

If a bartender in a plausible but uncommon spot recognizes you (“how’ve you been?”) but you don’t recognize them, confess the truth

Casual mention of other bartenders at the same place may get you you buybacks earlier

If you’re looking for a buyback, delay payment on your deserving round (4th is best). Have the bartender serve you and if necessary, feign to fumble about for your wallet. This pause allows your server the appropriate time to reflect

On a hot day, the glass holding your cold beverage may be subject to condensation. Don’t forsake a coaster or a napkin in this scenario. You want that water soaked up during drink downtime — so that it doesn’t drip on your shirt so much when you sip

The other option is to drink your cold beverage so quickly that it doesn't have time to attract condensation, or to warm up.

If you’re already sitting down and halfway through, a discreet wipe of the bottom of your glass on your pants before sipping is acceptable

Finish right on time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPcN9qbLZ0

At the cheapest bar around, order bottles or cans. Sometimes glasses get the short shrift.

Tip 5 at dives

This is obvious but if there’s big tip you want to give to a specific bartender give it to them by hand in cash “you’ve been served”

When you want a canned or bottled beer with a glass on the side, don’t order by saying “(Beer X)and a glass.” This can be misheard (“and” for “in”) and misinterpreted as a request for the draft version of Beer X, which is likely several sovereigns more. Better to preface with “bottle or can of,” and when it arrives, ask the bartender for a glass.

Don’t touch a cash tip unless there’s a 10 at the bottom of the stack

tip owners, when they’re tending, a fraction of what you’d tip servers

Stay one ahead of the hour, e.g., have two by 1 o’clock, and six by 5 o’clock.

Lol that’s the practice I’m trying to break myself of

Especially if you're using military time.

lol good point!

If you need to save your table while you pee and you don’t have a hat or bag to place on it, make sure you have at least 1/3 of your drink left in your glass.

Or just use a coaster from the bar lol

or a cocktail napkin

At this bar they have complementary promo stickers that are just big enough to cover the top of a drink. So I took two and put them in my wallet for later

I love bar stickers

Someone should make a google map list of bars with free promo stickers. That person could be me but I’m too much a creature of habit

last week i went to a bar for the first time in a *long* time and felt weird about leaving a dollar tip for a beer, considering that i was tipping that amount two decades ago. is a dollar still acceptable?

No

Ok. I ended up leaving two dollars, but was wondering what the norm is these days.

Bitcoin

No

Oops

a dollar is plenty

for a beer

Straddle the shift change and I say I’ve had 5 being honest and the new server says I it see one

Only

When you want to move a full glass of beer sitting on a coaster across the table, lift the beer and move the coaster independently first

Right before happy hour ends, buy as many as you’re going to have

yeah but they'll go warm

Eh, unpopular opinion but people are too fussed about coldness imo. If you need your drink to be cold, then drink faster. Don't own a beverage long enough for it to get warm. Or practice radical acceptance that entropy is law, and you can't always get what you want.

The whole industry of keeping drinks at or below a particular temperature (ice, "koozies," coolers, etc.) is an edifice built on futility: "pay us," says Big Ice, "to _slightly_ delay the inevitable for a fleeting moment."

Don't get me started on what ice melting in a mixed drink over time does to its ratios. "Here," says Big Ice, "I am here to steadily make your bourbon more and more watery until it is as pale and weak as your scrawny pathetic ass."

To each drink, the coolth thereof

my grandfather taught me the most important life lesson--that soda straight out of the fountain is cold already so you don't need ice. just get more of the good stuff.

I remember being on summer tour in the UK in the early 00s and being absolutely stunned by warm beer in the backstage, like no ice at all, gimme a break

IME all of the people asking for more ice are women, typically over 40 (over 50 more typically). i do not begrudge them their ice because they clearly have their reasons.

we actually banned a regular recently because he popped off at a bartender, claimed he deserved special treatment bc he comes in 6x/week but failed to note that he usually sits at the bar for 3-4 hours and drinks 2 beers. good riddance!

Eh, unpopular opinion but people are too fussed about coldness imo. If you need your drink to be cold, then drink faster. Don't own a beverage long enough for it to get warm. Or practice radical acceptance that entropy is law, and you can't always get what you want.

The whole industry of keeping drinks at or below a particular temperature (ice, "koozies," coolers, etc.) is an edifice built on futility: "pay us," says Big Ice, "to _slightly_ delay the inevitable for a fleeting moment."

Don't get me started on what ice melting in a mixed drink over time does to its ratios. "Here," says Big Ice, "I am here to steadily make your bourbon more and more watery until it is as pale and weak as your scrawny pathetic ass."

To each drink, the coolth thereof

― zydecodependent (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, May 15, 2025 6:47 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is all true, but if you're someone whose ideal drink is just-on-the-edge-of-freezing cold pilsner, basically the only way to get this is to be at home, toss a can/bottle into the freezer for 20-30 minutes (or whatever sweet spot you find), and not opening until you're ready for your first sip. IANARestauranteur but I assume most beer at bars/restaurants are kept at around 37-39º at max, which is nice and cold ... for about 10 minutes. I assume holding beer closer to freezing for prolonged periods is enough to damage the beer. No huge deal because there are tons of better-tasting pilsners on draft at bars than anything I'd be drinking from cans/bottles at home, but it's only going to really be enjoyable while it's still cold.

I have no idea how cold the freezer beers get by the time they're opened, but I assume it dips to around 30º-32º (for me, I know the temp is perfect if I pour and there's almost zero foam; any colder and it begins to slush, which means it'll probably get tossed). So, your beer is screamingly cold to begin with, and it stays "cold enough" for about 2X as long as my beer at the bar. I have a Radeberger tallboy with dinner most nights, and by the time the beer starts getting lukewarm I've either finished my beer or I'm done drinking.

This probably only makes sense for the lightest beers on the spectrum w/o a ton of flavor. The thought of gulping down an ice-cold double IPA makes me wretch.

That is a very niche craving, CompuPost, best to you

On a hot day, a cheap cold can straight from a cooler full of ice behind the bar is a distinct pleasure. Just don’t ask for a glass to drink it from cause that’ll warm up the swill right quick

“This one’s on me” can be a gentle invitation to break the ice a bit more