A thread for pop culture items that don't exist but you wish existed...

1. a Studio Ghibli adaptation of Ray Bradbury's 'Something Wicked This Way Comes'

a re-imagining of Mann's Heat, where tough border cop Daniel O'Donnell is doggedly pursing DeBurgh's total arsehole of a tobacco dealer, and set on thwarting his plan to flood the North with cheap and deadly EU halfzware shag.

― calzino, Tuesday, February 13, 2018 11:30 AM (one week ago)

A 2D animated Tintin cartoon movie that actually looks like the books

Lake of Sharks doesn't count obvs

Trendy Pepsi sweatshirts that instead say SEPSIS.

alan alda fleshlight

The B-52s - 'Ghostbusters'

all-female remake of 12 angry men]

Oh look, it's snooty bizarro, once again on his 'I don't even own a Burghoff' high horse.

Witty film or TV series where the lead character is a female or gender fluid animal or alien with a male or gender fluid human love interest.

The B-52s - 'Ghostbusters'

― Jock Totty's Monocle (Old Lunch), Friday, February 23, 2018 11:21 AM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Like, a cover of the Ray Parker Jr song? That would be something

https://blatherbybubbe.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/sepsis.jpg?w=300&h=188
Everything has been done

Oh look, it's snooty bizarro, once again on his 'I don't even own a Burghoff' high horse.

i'm not going to apologise for demanding the best in all things, okay - i deserve it

a superhero movie where the protaganists' powers are mainly being nice to people

a first person shooter that delivers a mild but painful electric shock to the player's nards everytime they shoot somebody not in self defence

an epic fantasy quadrilogy about two opposed kingdoms who resolve their differences thru diplomatic initiatives

The Great Dictator remade with The Chuckle Brothers playing the Chaplin parts.

dammit i was just gonna say dark gritty Amazon reboot of Chucklevision

open world pub crawl rpg

Freeman Talks Rap, a series where Martin Freeman interviews top rap stars of today and tells them what's wrong with their music

Christopher Nolan's To The Lighthouse

Emil Cioran Cinematic Universe

Gardening, with Keith Floyd

The Scrap Thieves Hunt. Contestants go head to head on stealing parts of copper roofs, war monuments, railside steel wired armoureds and cable/piping from public buildings, and let's who makes the most at the scrappers afterwards or who ends up decapitated by an express train or burnt alive by 50 kv of arcing electrical current.

Relocation Relocation Relocation. spin-off show in which a family that have been forcibly evicted from their council house after terrorizing their neighbours for five years are moved next door to a pair of yuppie cunts in a half a million pound converted farmhouse in the Cotswolds

Gardening, with Keith Floyd

pushing up the daisies with keith floyd

push th' little daisies and make them keith floyd

Celebrity grave-digging, those corpses aren't going to exhume themselves!

celebrity gravedigging with dean gaffney

a new Star Wars trilogy with lead characters that spend time together

The Tintin TV series looked like the books

Crowded House tribute band that only plays in Chinese restaurants, called Temple of Lo Mein.

Saturday Night Takeawaywith Dean and Gene Ween

Barlow's About: Lou Barlow pranks the general public in early-evening candid camera farce

a Sledge Hammer! movie

Barlow's About: Ep.1 Bubble and Jape!

The Tintin TV series looks super cheap now, I wanna see the lush, expensive animated version

affordable bootlegs of those communist-era eastern european movie posters like the "weekend at bernie's" poster

ilxor figurines

Trading cards!

Vinyl versions of the ILX Compilations

TCM 2 (all silent, pre-code, and foreign-language films, all the time).

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxp

https://i.imgur.com/qkz50an.png

i endorse this product

God yes, such a simple thing too...

A Superpitcher remix of Fleetwood Mac's 'Dreams', does that count? Been kind of obsessed with this idea for weeks now. Might attempt it myself, but then I'm not Superpitcher.

I posted this on the "terrible ideas" thread, but a Scooby Doo episode (or actual animated series) featuring Parliament-Funkadelic as guest stars. They travel around on the Mothership, there's lots of goofy Bootsy catchphrasing for laughs, diaper guy chimes in from time to time for comic relief, lots of veiled drug references, etc.

LBI have you heard the Gigamesh remix of Dreams? as close to what you're talking about as it gets

The B-52s - 'Ghostbusters'

I'd be up for this too tbh

gigamesh remix rules

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOlWbSUQASs

Spider-Man (dir. Ingmar Bergman)

Cardiacs Peel Sessions Boxset

A Seinfeld reunion that's similar to Twin Peaks: the Return

The B-52s - 'Ghostbusters'
― Jock Totty's Monocle (Old Lunch), Friday, February 23, 2018 11:21 AM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

As soon as I read this, I heard Fred Schneider say in my ear "I think you'd better call!"

I had this weird dream the other night where I was playing one of those old Galaga pinball games. It had an ink drawing off the front of the big "bug" ship, and more bees and critters on the board. Its big feature was where you could "lock" a ball up a ramp, and then unlock it by hitting a sequence of bumpers. "This is muti-ball, you've invented multi-ball," I thought.

I woke up, got in the shower, started thinking, "Wait. Was there even a Galaga pinball game? Or did I just Sinbad myself?" A GIS showed that, yes, there was a Galaga pinball game, but it was all new and LEDed out, with all the ships displayed in retro 3D. A pinball game based more on the video game than the concept of the video game.

I still can't shake that there may have been a real game that my dream was based on. Can't find proof though. I did find the Space Invaders pinball game, which to this day, still scares the shit out of me.

one of those old Galaga pinball games.

I only got this far before excitedly googling, and it appears to be a hand-made (ie coded by a dude at home) VP* game from two years ago

*downloadable computer pinball

a hobbes stuffed toy

john ford's the martian chronicles

earthsea crpg

A Seinfeld reunion that's similar to Twin Peaks: the Return

Jimi Hendrix's version of the Coronation Street theme tune.

Books that extensively cover the history of modern Japanese music with any subtleties of context expertly decoded for us occidental types.

...other than that written by Julian Cope?

Speaking of which,

a guided tour of Avebury by the Drude himself

XP - I'll take that comment at face value and assume you know that a fair amount of that book is fantasy.

Plus I want the whole history from the turn of the century up to now, not just unloveable stoner bollocks and stockhausen meets jazz wibble :)

otm

lol oh OK I didn't actually know that

Yeah, it's the same with the Krautrocksampler book, great read but a lot of supposition.

OK here's my enduring wish

A fully surrealist action movie. Outrageous spectacle and CGI but the action and dialogue is driven by extremely oblique bizarro-psychological angsts, and there are weirdly delocated 'quiet bits' with the feel of arthouse drama even as the trees erupt crystal fire and the space gantries reconfigure. A fever-dream rendered in state-of-the-art mayhem. Meshes of the Michael Bay

Kung Fu hustle

haha good point

OK amend to 'Stephen Chow with a $100m budget, adapting Jean Rhys'

Id buy it

Ha, DL and Ross: I didn't know that remix! It's actually really good, thanks guys.

It's a bit too 'friendly' sounding though, too straightforward. My ideal Superpitcher remix of Dreams would be an 11 minute fever dream, slipping in and out of the song, working towards some sort of melancholy climax. Ah christ I'm going to have to call him up.

A thread for pop culture items that are short of a good shoeing/complete expungement from history

1. Julian Cope

you've gone too far this time

Let's keep it on topic lads

calzino podcast about things or people that are short of a good shoeing slash expungement from history

Ya

title 'To the Gulag!'

where I come from people, that refer to themselves as the archdrude in the 3rd person get fucking banged!

and we don't respect the correct use of commas

That's hard to argue with

simply a case of one type of violence begetting another, so quite justifiable imo.

a good cover version of "yellow submarine"

James Corden's head on a stick

news of his head on a stick yes -- not sure where i'd put the thing itself

Oh I must have a dozen places

dangling from the rear-view mirror imo

stick and all?

i mean, without the stick i can keep it in the fridge where it belongs, by the butter

surely you mean by the margarine

I would sign it up for celebrities to karaoke with

Prob not the thread for it (anymore), but since they'll both read it here, I'm going to have to get back to Ross and Dog Latin on the 'Dreams' remix by Gigamesh. Because for all my wanting, this thing rules. I still want a Superpitcher remix but fuck, the Gigamesh remix is so great. It's practically the only thing I listened to ever since mentioned here.

For posterity, and outstanding service by DL and Ross, this needs to be addressed. Can't get this remix out of my head even if I tried. As far as unfulfilled pop culture items can go, this one hits home.

iPhone game involving sushi preparation

List of sbs given to what posts by which poster

xp that doesn't exist yet? damn. i'd play

Real theater marquee from summer 2014, spotted on Twitter and now something I would pay to see.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXKLIslV4AAnOLW.jpg

yeah that already exists it's called Neon Genesis Evangelion

Prob not the thread for it (anymore), but since they'll both read it here, I'm going to have to get back to Ross and Dog Latin on the 'Dreams' remix by Gigamesh. Because for all my wanting, this thing rules. I still want a Superpitcher remix but fuck, the Gigamesh remix is so great. It's practically the only thing I listened to ever since mentioned here.

For posterity, and outstanding service by DL and Ross, this needs to be addressed. Can't get this remix out of my head even if I tried. As far as unfulfilled pop culture items can go, this one hits home.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, February 28, 2018 11:14 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Think it was Johnny Fever who first switched me onto Gigamesh's remixes/edits but yeah it's such a great tune. I try and include it in any DJ set I can. No idea who Gigamesh is, but they're a talent. The remixes of Groove Is In The Heart and Once In a Lifetime are also really special.