“I work for ...” vs “I’m a ...”

How do you frame it

i work on my creative.

i usually have to say "i work as a ___ for a ___ company" since either half alone gives false impressions of what i do

I do...

“I work in [area of business]”, rather than “I work for [company everybody hates]” or “I am a [job that takes a lot of explaining]”.

I'm a man
I work for a goddess

"I work at..."

... useful for when where you work is more impressive than what you do there.

I like “i work at”

I don’t think it rolls off the tongue as easily as “for” though

Though saying "I work at carpentry" or "I work at pulling pints" would be pretty dickish.

I'm in

I’m in cloud based backup
I’m in finance
I’m in VC’ism
I’m in sports analysis

i'm in posting

i’m a change agent

i know a lot of teachers who srsly say that

my srs answer is “i’m a ...”

Imma brand influencer.

i'm a third party recoverable petroleum products reutilization specialist.

that's the best i could come up with. for slangin the vinyls.

I remember when I used to wait tables I could never bring myself to take any sort of personal or even joint ownership of what the restaurant had going on. They were very much they

I clean toilets at the gas station down the hill a few times a month, and then sometimes my uncle lets me help him fix his tractors but I don't particularly care for that

i work for drinking money
i'm a real piece of shit

I work part time at this thift shop, my boss Mr McGee thinks I'm lazy

“I’m with the” is my usual, I think.

"I'm the"

its p much the same thing for my job

i don't

this has to be the worst thing people do

i usually talk about them or common interests/hobbies

ima fuck you up you keep askin bout my work, learn some goddamn manners

Its awk af imho when people meet for the first time and avoid this line of questioning

I never ask this question, if it can be avoided.

I'm definitely an employed adult with a real career and I would tell you what that career is except that I have to go now

If I need the short version I usually say "I'm a ____."

People who are insatiably curious might ask "and who do you work for?".

From there it forks into two options. I can choose to say that I work for a very small consulting company - really it's only four people. Mostly just sell my labor and the labor of a handful of other people. It's not really freelancing, but it is perilously close to freelancing at times. And pretty much nobody really cares about the differences between temping, contracting, consulting, and freelancing, so usually it's easier not to go down this path.

Or, alternatively, I can talk about the clients I work for. In some respects this is easier because those are entities that people have heard of. However, because I am pretty much a whore, the client list includes (a) companies that lots of people hate, and (b) government agencies that lots of people hate.

A lot of the time I just leave it vague. I do this and that. I write stuff for people. Sometimes I get asked to do various things. Mostly I put words and pictures on pieces of paper.

If I am asked I either say "i work in an office" or "i just hang out" according to current circumstance. Most jobs are completely boring; I never ask what people do unless they are super amazing during conversation.

some ppl like small talk that builds bridges
some like small talk that builds walls
some ppl like small talk
to kick you in the balls
-bob marley

"What do you do?"
"Eh, this and that, you know."
"Yeah, but..."
"I'm a writer, mostly."

since i became unemployed this has become an issue.
its fascinating the difference it can make to peoples attitude.
i am no longer defined by my job, and some people really cannot handle that, especially as i am in no rush to return to a soul sucking employment situation.
a young(ish) bloke not working = a weird headfuck for people.

"I'm a" in my line of work. Saying "I work for" would sound strange.

I am a motivational speaker and I'm contractually obligated not to disclose where or before whom I have spoken

“Spare us the deets” the crowd exclaims

Most jobs are completely boring; I never ask what people do unless they are super amazing during conversation.

That's about the size of it.

Well, it varies culturally / regionally / classwise. In my city, it is commonplace to discuss what you do for work. Even if you are not that into what you "do," it can be good to get it out of the way fast and move on to other (probably better) topics.

After 30 years of that, I spent some time on the opposite side of the continent, and people could go for days without mentioning work at all. It was both refreshing and, given what I was used to, a little unnerving.

Thank God I live somewhere where it's almost never mentioned.

Some of my best friends I'm not really sure what it is they actually do for living.

I always wanted to be able to say "I'm a..." but was never able to. A career change later and I'm able to say "I'm a..."

Its great. If you or the other person want that line of conversation to end right there, it can! question answered! or not, if they are interested. No more of this putzing around trying to explain something to someone that isn't interested anyway, in order to please the great god of social occasion

It makes a difference I like what I'm doing and am happy to talk about it if someone wants to! But I've also no particular need to talk about it either

Its more that the underlying anxiety of "ah do I really have to?' is no longer present

i’m of the “i’m in...” camp. i’m in IT, i’m in the voip wholesale space bla bla

depends on the country

In USA I’d say “I’m a...” and people would think I was a magician. So I changed to I work at...

In Cheeseland people understand my “I’m a...” better, leads to good convos at wine shops etc

i think i usually say "i'm a...at..."

Quite into "I make..." now.

i'm sure you've all got practised, engaging or short responses for when you next embarrass an unemployed person with this

Not really, because I like to talk to people as individuals rather than pre-preparing lines.

'(begrudgingly) Yeah, I work in [industry] because bills. It's boring and there's really nothing more to say about it unless you absolutely insist on continuing to act interested.'

Everyone should just wear a sticker on their shirt listing acceptable topics they are willing to converse about.

unless you absolutely insist on continuing to act interested

yeah cause that's not at all hostile and counter-judging and curmudgeonly and misanthropic, aimed at somebody who failed to achieve your high standards of opening conversational gambits

Hi! My name is
TOM
I'd be glad to talk to you about
WEATHER, LOCAL RESTAURANTS

- pizza, beer
- desktop publishing technology of the past
- coated guitar strings (light and medium gauges only)
- neckties
- 1982 Cardinals (but no other sports please)
- herb gardens (not flower or vegetable gardens)

my two cents on asking what people do for work is that since many people spend most of their waking lives at their jobs, i should definitely be able to ask someone about what they do in conversation without them getting offended or super turned off or w/e and they should definitely have a practiced, engaging, or short response that opens up or redirects the conversation if need be.

― you bet, nancy (map)

...well, except for the increasing number of people who don't _have_ jobs because 21st century capitalism has no use for them.

what are you guys' side hustles

matthew you're not up to speed

yeah cause that's not at all hostile and counter-judging and curmudgeonly and misanthropic, aimed at somebody who failed to achieve your high standards of opening conversational gambits

― NO REGERTS (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, May 8, 2018 7:36 AM (twenty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c9/Michael_Jackson_-_Man_in_the_Mirror.png

(Luv u YMP but your reading hinges on the misapprehension that the phenomena you describe are aimed anywhere but inwards.)

(Except 'curmudgeonly', which I will grant you.)

Nobody ever asks me what I do anyway

Fair cop Ol' Lunch, no worries

Everyone should just wear a sticker on their shirt listing acceptable topics they are willing to converse about.

― NO REGERTS (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, May 8, 2018 5:30 AM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sites already do this so it's only a matter of time before augmented/mixed reality makes this possible

there's different ways of asking the question. I don't have a problem with people asking me what I do, or asking people what they do, but if I meet someone for the first time I'm much more interested in finding out where they stay and if they have a family/pets and where they like to eat/drink/dance because that's the stuff I'm interested in most in my own orbit.

all conversations are frought with possible troubles: people might be grieving or teetotal, which would make my topics just as difficult. I just personally hate the idea that my identity is defined by what I do, not the happiness I find in my life.

like if I say "oh, I just work in a shop, it's pretty boring - let's not dwell on that! How did you get here tonight?" then that should be enough, and for most people it is. But when people want to find out more and talk at length it makes me switch off. Maybe I would feel differently if my job was rewarding and valued by society or I had achieved outstanding success in it but at the same time I feel that would make it boring to listen to anyway?

i go with "what do you do" bc its more open ended and more about what you do (your interests career and beyond) and less about the people that employee you.

if you have something with a career track then the answer tends toward that, in my experience

"what do you do" -> job type if you've got a titled job, otherwise the main time spenders are in your life
"where do you work" -> obvious
"what are you into" -> probably better than asking "hobbies" because people don't think of things as hobbies and feel embarrassed to admit they most follow tv shows
"how do you do" -> very well, thank you

"what are you into" -> probably better than asking "hobbies" because people don't think of things as hobbies and feel embarrassed to admit they most follow tv shows

― mh

runs the risk of people telling you about their fetishes ime

tbh if someone is the type of person who is just going to start listing their fetishes, it's better to know earlier than later

"I'm a professional X and an amateur Y" can be a good answer because the conversation can fork from there. Someone with nothing to say about X might be thrilled for the chance to discuss Y instead.

The only reason people say "what do you do" or "where do they work" is because they're culturally accepted opening moves. IME most people are relieved and grateful to change the subject to something non-work-related.

only slightly relevant story but might as well tell it.

My Grandad used to have a side job delivering yachts from one European port to another. If someone in Monaco bought a boat that was in Stockholm or whatever, he'd sail it down. Nice holiday and I'm sure it was a decent little earner too. Anyway one time he sailed into Oslo, a chap on the harbour helped him tie up the boat and they got into a good long conversation about sailing and boats etc. They chatted for hour or so until a lull in the conversation so Grandad reached for the standard "and so what do you do?"

"I'm the King of Norway"

That's a great story.

who do you do -> kinda rude imo, also risks sliding into fetish talk
why do you do -> bold gambit to kick off with such an existential query tbf but seems like it would quickly sort the conversational wheat from the chaff

"So, what's your story?"

"who do you do?"

tbh the best conversations usually don't get to the occupation/hobbies point until a ways in and then the distinction about what you do and where you work are just extra info

unless it's a corporate mixer or meeting neighbors for the first time or something then you're just building up a catalog of information

damn, killfiled by mh :(

how do you make the money, bg

that's awesome thomasintrouble

Two lies and a truth

“What I do isn’t who I am”

Can imagine Macron saying that. In French.

What I am is what I am is what you are, oh...wut?

It is understandable to say that about your day job, especially if you hate your job, you resent having to have one, or you're slightly embarrassed about what it is (or what it isn't).

But interpreted more broadly it can be kind of... wrong?

For many people it's almost certainly off base. Maybe they're in a creative profession. A healing or teaching profession. Or working as an activist in a cause they care deeply about. (Cf. HOOS).

I suspect for at least some of those people, "what I do" at least partly relates to "who I am."

Then I think about avocations too. In those, what I do is who I am. For me anyway. When I make art or make music or absorb ideas or think or engage with nature or engage with culture, why the fuck am I doing those things? Because they very much ARE "who I am."

it smacks of desperation more to frame it like that that not tbh

the classic problem of potential

i've always maintained 'you are what you do' where 'what you do' just means 'how you spend your time'

the hoariest old convo starter in DC is 'what do you do' and i much prefer 'how do you spend your time'

depending on the context i might say 'i work for a progressive policy think tank' or 'i do strategic planning' because no one deserves to have to hear me say the words 'i'm a data & comms strategist' out loud

i argued to get the word 'strategist' in my job title and now i'm mainly embarassed by it lol

When one gets the "what do you do?" question there are various ways to handle it. Kinda depends on how you feel about the question and the asker.

One might deflect by asking back, "you mean, for work?" But that is kind of a dick move IMO. The person wasn't being very original, no, but perhaps they're just shy or awkward or don't know what else to say.

You might choose vagueness as an initial gambit, but nevertheless open your kimono a bit so as not to seem hostile. Then turn it around but in a different form. "Well, I do a bunch of stuff! By day I'm an accountant, but I also love to play the oboe. Plus I foster feral kittens. What about you? What's your story?"

Thinking further, I have another problem with "what I do is not what I am." Personally my priorities are 1. My family, 2. Music, and 3. Everything else.

My family likes to have food and shelter and clothing. So I think of my professional work largely as an extension of my love and caring for my wife and children. Which is TOTALLY "who I am." There is no conflict.

Musical instruments and art supplies cost money that I wouldn't have if I didn't work for money. And the leisure time to do music, art, writing, criticism? Totally a function of the income I get from my job. So no, I'm not my job, but working helps enable the things that I think of as "me."

theyre asking what you work as why be a dick at all

I work as a dick

I've usually said "I work for..." because my current and most recent past employer are organizations that most people have heard of, and they are often more interested in the orgs than in the particular job I hold.

Two birds, one stone.

"I'm-a work for..."

I work for money

If I'm forced to answer I just tell people that I work in IT for a law firm and leave it at that. I generally do not ask others about their work as small talk.

I ask for their names, ages, and preferred sexual positions.

I guess I only tell people who I work for if I know them to be on my org’s “side” so to speak…otherwise I just say I work for a nonprofit or something and hope for not too many follow up questions.

My job sounds sort of impressive to some people, but in reality it's not, and I don't like it, and it isn't even paid that well, and I don't know how much of all of that I should go into, people don't usually want the details but the details are the important bit.