Would you rather be Hated or Ignored?

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OK, I found this link from bored.com which was a site where you could vote on which of two dilemmas you'd rather face, and see what the statistics were.

Would you rather be A) hated or B) ignored was the only dilemma which was absolutely bang-on 50/50 even in responses.

Which side are you on?

― kate, Saturday, 2 November 2002 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

ignored, which i already am.

― minna (minna), Saturday, 2 November 2002 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it's quite obvious I'm on the "rather be hated" side. I can't think of anything worse than being ignored. It would be a fate worse than death, being silenced. I'd rather be hated, because at least that would inspire some sort of passion, at least they have to THINK about you to hate you. Does this mean that I have some childish need for attention?

And this thread will probably be ignored...

― kate, Saturday, 2 November 2002 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

(i didn't mean to sound self-pitying in above post. please don't hate me! please ignore me!)

― minna (minna), Saturday, 2 November 2002 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

(in ignoring me you needn't ignore kate's thread!)

― minna (minna), Saturday, 2 November 2002 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Generally, anything but ignored.

Having said that, I could do without being physically attacked at North London bus stops for resembling a "batty boy".

― Dickon Edwards, Saturday, 2 November 2002 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You all HAAAAAAAAATE my thread, don't you? ;-)

― kate, Saturday, 2 November 2002 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

This really has made me realise something. The typical Kate howl of "he HAAAAAAATES me" when confronted with a boy she is attracted to does not actually mean "he dislikes me" but "he is ignoring me" which I interpret as much much WORSE than him actually disliking me.

― kate, Saturday, 2 November 2002 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Totally agree Kate, ignoring means you're not even in their realm of consciousness but hate implies at the very least, occupying head space and some kind of exchange of energy (however negative) Anyway, there's always a possibility of being able to cross back over that thin dividing line.

― Saskia, Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess hated, being ignored is kind of a bigger kick in the teeth, especially if it were to happen all the time, there's more of a chance if some people hate you that others will like you.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather be ignored. At least I can legitimate that pretty easy: there are a lot of people in the world, even in most people's immediate circles of acquaintance. Ordinary reasoning (and the briefest reflection on my own social coping mechanisms) tells me that there's all sorts of mundane reasons why we needn't and even can't take everyone into our consciousness. Anyway, knowing I'm hated makes my insides go squishy. It makes me feel breathless and horrified. I'd rather live in a world of happy delusion.

― Ellie (Ellie), Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

better than being hated is actually having sex with the person that hates you. can you imagine the intensity?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had sex with people I hated/who hated me. Intensity of hatred is almost as sure a guarantee of passion as love, in fact, even better so, because hatred can be more physical.

― kate, Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

It is really difficult to have sex with someone that is ignoring you, though...

― kate, Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

No it isn't.

I'd go for ignored. I shamelessly court popularity.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

depends who the person is who is doing the hating/ignoring.

soundtrack to this thread: he hit me (and it felt like a kiss)

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 2 November 2002 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, ignored. If all the people that ignored me suddenly started hating me and acting on that hate, I don't think I could cope.

― RickyT (RickyT), Saturday, 2 November 2002 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Neither are very nice, but I guess I'd settled for ignored.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 2 November 2002 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Ignored, because at least then I could pretend there's still a chance that the person(s) just hasn't noticed me yet. Being hated suX0r. I know it's stupid, but I feel awful when people hate me even if they are people I think are stupid, horrible, despicable, etc...

― Nicole (Nicole), Saturday, 2 November 2002 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

mmmm i think ignored so i could then pretend to ignore back. hate makes me nervous.

― donna (donna), Saturday, 2 November 2002 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Hated...

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 2 November 2002 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Ignored. One of the things I like best (outside of my immediate family) is to just be left alone.

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 2 November 2002 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Ignored: I can get by with books, records and TV- comes from being a friendless only child, I guess.

Hatred, however, makes life difficult not only for me but also for the persons hating me- and everyone's miserable. What's the point of that?

― Daniel_Rf, Sunday, 3 November 2002 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio have you never had rebound sex with an ex? Nasty shit if one of you has a point to prove.

Hated ?ignored? I dont think Id enjoy someone I love hating or ignoring me . Anyone else um... not really phased but recognition and positive feedback is nice of course.

― Kiwi, Sunday, 3 November 2002 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

thats not the question is it- Id rather be ignored.

― Kiwi, Sunday, 3 November 2002 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather be hated than ignored. But I'd rather be ignored than scorned. It's a power thing, probably. To be hated by someone means they're giving you a certain power over them. That's fine by me.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 3 November 2002 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Ive changed my mind being hated is much more fun I just recieved an email from a fundamentalsit traditionalist religious group that I have to share for its amusement value alone.

CI- you really are an arrogant filthy pagan vermin ("FPV") - I conjecture that the world would'nt have been as bad as it is if you hadnt ended up here - so far from being a true Catholic, you are despicable even for the RSVC of Antipope JPII.

CI - you're vermin - if you want to meet me, provide me notice of a time & place

again - youre FPV

Needless to say I will decline his charming invitation.

― Kiwi, Sunday, 3 November 2002 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

hated, hated, hated

― Josh (Josh), Sunday, 3 November 2002 09:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Sent my ex a drunken text message last night (yes, I know this is stupid and childish) saying "I've decided I prefered it when you hated me, because at least I felt special then."

This made sense at the time. It still makes sense now. I've wasted too much time on him, and now it's time to ignore him.

― kate, Sunday, 3 November 2002 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I am already ignored by almost everyone in the world - even at an optimistic estimate, there surely can't be more than a thousand people who pay any attention at all to me as a person (unless there are far more interested lurkers on ILE than I imagine!). I don't know that anyone hates me, and there certainly aren't many. I am happy with this situation. If we are talking about hate or ignoring as a universal reaction, I can't see that I'd survive either.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 3 November 2002 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I've resigned myself to being ignored out of fear of being hated, so I guess that's what I'd choose.

(ie What Nicole Said)

― Graham (graham), Sunday, 3 November 2002 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Ignored.It makes it easier to stay out of the eyes of the man.

― brg30 (brg30), Sunday, 3 November 2002 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

hated. but this isn't because i want to be a hateful person or because i want peoples attention, but because i have some really stupid thought processes that i don't want to go into.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 3 November 2002 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

some really stupid thought processes that i don't want to go into.

You're no fun.

― Daniel_Rf, Sunday, 3 November 2002 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

like a party thats over before its begun.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 3 November 2002 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but are you rock'n'roll?

― kate, Sunday, 3 November 2002 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

no.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 3 November 2002 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmm.. i can't decide. they both have their good points. part of me says hated, but a lot of the time I prefer being ignored..

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 4 November 2002 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Anybody want to guess my answer?

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 4 November 2002 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Hated. Like Kate I don't think I could cope with being ignored. Both are awful, but hey, have an opinion on me, validate me! (God, that says some fucking sad things about me).

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 4 November 2002 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Ignored. If you were ignored you'd be left alone to get on with it, if you were hated people would feel the need to tell you about it.

― Plinky (Plinky), Monday, 4 November 2002 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

it still depends ono who is doing it. perhaps *ignoring*, i mean ignoring can be a passive-agressive version of hating really, or it can be someone who used to like you, and now just isn't bothered (either going straight from liking to unbotheredness, or through some hating first), this is why ignoring is worse:(

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 4 November 2002 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(Well reply to my email for once Anna)

― Graham (graham), Monday, 4 November 2002 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather be hated than ignored by people who I have emotions towards (whether positive or negative.) But I don't mind if people who I don't know or care about ignore me.

(Sorry about the infelicitous grammar in the above.)

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 4 November 2002 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Anybody want to guess my answer?

Would you have been even more the founders of emo if you were the Ignored?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 4 November 2002 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

We chose hatred -- ignorance was thrust upon us.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 4 November 2002 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a tremendous phobia of being hated, thats why I don't say much, in case it provokes a negative response. If I make enemies I feel the need to quickly amend the situation, whoever it is.

i can handle being ignored, as most people around our way are ignorant anyway. (so there)

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Monday, 4 November 2002 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Hated or Ignored? Mmmmmmm.....let's see. Would I rather be HATED or IGNORED???? All things being equal, I'd rather be happy.

― Lance Filterspoon, Monday, 4 November 2002 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

But ... but ... Happiness is a myth dreamed up by advertising men to sell you mortgages, sportscars and deodorant!

― kate, Monday, 4 November 2002 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

But ... but ... Happiness is a myth dreamed up by advertising men to sell you mortgages, sportscars and deodorant!

Wow, something to thank the advertizing men for!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 4 November 2002 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

feared.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 4 November 2002 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

I think I have come around to the "ignored" point of view.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally, can we trade? I've been ignored most of my life, and...well, you may have seen my little explosion last night.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

God, j. lu, I wish I could hate you, but I just can't muster it up. I'm so sorry.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

haha I'll trade with you, move up here and take my job and you will taste the horror.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

If the apartment comes with it you might have a deal.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Ally's apartment would make you hate everything.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

OK! When do you wanna do this?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently, it's possible to be both. Sigh.

― Skottie, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Skottie OTM.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Remember, there's a thin line between love and hate, yet not between love and indifference.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

If I'm at work or out on the street, I would actually prefer being ignored over being liked.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Thursday, 6 November 2003 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this really answerable? If you'd rather be ignored, answering the question at all is a contradiction. If you'd rather be hated, your answer'd be whichever you thought was more hateable, not what you really felt.

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Thursday, 6 November 2003 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'm more tired and sick of being ignored than of being hated, even though I know I've made my share of enemies throughout my socializing life. Therefore, I'm choosing "hate" here. Besides, if someone really hates me, I'd much rather they actually come out and state it instead of just pussyfooting around and not saying a damn thing and then having me find out from someone else many years later that someone who I had no idea even bothered to notice me had this beef with me. This has happened before in the past, and the conflicts have always ended up being ones that could've been cleared up with some thorough and direct communications.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 6 November 2003 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh, I saw the revival of this thread and thought "wow, what an interesting topic!" and then realised it was one of my old self-pitying crank-fests. Wow.

Despite my recent longing for the quiet life, I'll still take hated over ignored. (Possibly because I'm being ignored more than I'm being hated lately.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the first things that greeted me this morning was people on the Vice magazine message boards saying that I should die and have AIDS 'that no AZT can cure'. I simply waded in and corrected the inaccuracies, exclaiming 'Why you little charmers!'

The Vice 'prank' (as publisher McInnes calls it) is a kind of hate magnet. Actually, reading the comments after articles like Eat the Rich and I Wanna Riot I have to say that the turbulence stirred up by these articles -- whose apparent cynicism masks a deeply moral sensibility -- makes their 'hate-mongering' completely worthwhile. I have the strong impression people are thinking about the world.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 6 November 2003 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Been both. Both are OK if ppl are too scared of you to do anything about it.

― dave q, Thursday, 6 November 2003 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, if ppl WANT to ignore you but for some weird reason they can't, best of all!

― dave q, Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

(like if you're Kim Il-Sung or something. Imagine making everyone wear a badge with your face on it!)

― dave q, Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but learning that most people (or rather, most people I know) prefer hatred to being ignored, I've also learned that the way to most effectively hurt people that you *do* hate, is actually to ignore them. Sometimes this is incredibly difficult, but I get a smug satisfaction out of knowing that this hurts them worse.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

That would be great if you could do that ppl who actually had some power in yr life tho. Landlord: "Hey, where's my £400?" You: (sticks fingers in ears) "La-la-la, did someone say something?"

― dave q, Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

There are many different kinds of power that people can exercise over your life, and not just monetary.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Feel free to hate
I ain't trynna be your mate

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I think hated as to be ignored would be more frustrating overall.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T HATE KATE!!!

(Sorry I know I should have waited until Noodles woke up and let him post it, but I couldn't resist.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I've just realised something: in conservative times I'm a satirist and attract hate, and in times of liberalism and expansion I'm a utopian and get ignored. I feel like it's more 'me' to be a utopian and just write articles about design and how rosy the future could be, but I soon end up in a ghetto with like-minded people, bored. There is a certain adrenalin rush to engaging with one's enemies and firing squibs into the hornet's nest. The danger is that satire always takes its agenda from its targets, and that you end up thinking like your enemies instead of marching towards the rising sun of 'progress'.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd rather be ignored because i am largely irrelevant anyway. hate is a waste of energy by and large too. often the problem is there is too much hate directed at something and the positive side is ignored - worst of both worlds.

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

ignored.

― Man Man (kenan), Saturday, 6 May 2006 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

hated!!!!!

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Saturday, 6 May 2006 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

hated, by far

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 6 May 2006 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

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