"the man that first ate an oyster was a bold fellow"

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ok there are loads of things which it is amazing that someone first thought wd be a good thing to do, even though actually they are: here is yr chance to discuss them at last hurrah

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 4 November 2002 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

"i put it in where?"

― michael wells (michael w.), Monday, 4 November 2002 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Singing songs about the exact consistency -- and noble promise -- of sperm always struck me as a particularly good thing to do that no-one had done.

― Momus (Momus), Monday, 4 November 2002 17:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See the Guinness thread ... "this beer tastes odd... let's strain it through a FISH!!!"

― kate, Monday, 4 November 2002 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

slightly related: "hmm, i wonder what that gloopy stuff at the bottom of the brewing tank thing would taste like if we boiled it down" = marmite...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Monday, 4 November 2002 17:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Is THAT where they get Marmite? My god, I might actually have to give it a second chance. I didn't know it was BEER-related. That makes everything OK!

― kate, Monday, 4 November 2002 17:32 (twenty-three years ago)

i think about shit like that all the time! like, a lot of them must have been lunatics or morons or both, y'know?

smoking: "hmmm, if i set these leaves on fire and inhale them...." nutter!

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 4 November 2002 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

This is our long-term pub conversation about the mystery of BREAD! What were they thinking??

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 4 November 2002 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorting out the bazilion sort of mushrooms in 3 categories: succulent, lethal or trippy. But we had a lot of time to do so. It's especially true selon this dude:
"Terence McKenna suggests that this hidden factor in the evolution of human beings, the factor which called human consciousness forth from a bipedal ape with binocular vision, involved a feedback loop with plant hallucinogens"

― The Hegemon, Tuesday, 5 November 2002 04:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Long ago, a young French shepherd boy took his sheep out to graze near the little village of Roquefort. During this time a sudden downpour occurred which forced the boy to take shelter in a cave. When the rain stopped, the boy had to go out and round up the sheep so that he could take them home. He left his lunch in the cave.

It would be several weeks before he would return to that particular cave to find that his lunch was still sitting where he had left it. The bread was dried and had crumbled away and the cheese seemed to have veins of green growing throughout. Although it did not look to be very good, the boy was very hungry and took a bite from the discolored cheese, and decided that it tasted better than any cheese he had previously had.

The boy ran down to the village, shouting, "a miracle, a miracle," The people that gathered around the boy sampled the cheese, and from that day on they began bringing cheese to the caves around Roquefort so that it could be transformed into blue cheese. The same caves are still used for the manufacturing of Roquefort cheese today.

― Paul Eater (eater), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 05:08 (twenty-three years ago)

To hell with the fish, Kate -- the very first person to drink beer was clearly a mad man. "Ooh, my grain's rotting -- hey, what's this liquid?"

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 09:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh golly, I misread that at first as -

"Ohh, my groins rotting -- hey, what's this liquid?"

― gazza, Tuesday, 5 November 2002 09:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Burning peat.

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 10:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Male circumcision.

Excellent cartoon in a jewish mag, Moses on top of Arafat: "You want us to cut off the end of our dicks?"

― stevo (stevo), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

arafat?

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 10:40 (twenty-three years ago)

hahahhahahahhaaaaa!!!!

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 10:40 (twenty-three years ago)

(not arafat, ararat. but not ararat either, sinai.)

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 10:41 (twenty-three years ago)

oh fuck

― stevo (stevo), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 10:42 (twenty-three years ago)

BEST TYPO EVER

― bob zemko (bob), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

i have tears in my eyes

― bob zemko (bob), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Utterly beautiful. :-) Dan Perry not to thread, he'll read this and die laughing, to Joei's chagrin.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 15:26 (twenty-three years ago)

"hmm, i'm cold. I shall, arbitrarily, bang these bits of stone together on top of this extremely dry, wispy plant material. Then I shall make burgers."

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

My favourite is the fact that one of the best things for piles is shark's liver - "Hey a dead shark! What's that brown thing hanging out of its stomach? Mm, I bet that would feel great up my arse!"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 20:33 (twenty-three years ago)

See also: Bob Newhart's 'Sir Walter Raleigh explaining tobacco to his boss' sketch ("...you stick it between your lips...you set fire to it??").

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 20:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn, I should have looked at this thread earlier!!!! "Moses on top of Arafat" is beyond classic as is rotting groin liquid. Um, you know what I mean.

If you think the first person to eat oysters was bold, what about the first person to eat Rocky Mountain Oysters?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 21:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Steaming and from the source, even.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 21:25 (twenty-three years ago)

(At first I wasn't sure if Ned was referring to Rocky Mountain Oysters or rotting groin liquid. Then I realized it didn't really matter and was able to commence gagging.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't see why eating an animal's testicles would be such a great leap beyond eating its other organs. In fact, the weird bit there is that we've become some of the only carnivores on the planet that get all selectively grossed out about eating different bits animals.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

what about the first person to eat boat?

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 22:55 (twenty-three years ago)

There are like 30,000 different ways to present the joke that "eating boat" sounds 100% like a cunnilingus euphemism, and I just can't pick.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 5 November 2002 23:13 (twenty-three years ago)

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