An exhausting and debilitating week for both of us.
To ENT ward at Radcliffe on Wednesday to see Mr Corbidge (L has decided that she can't wait 'til the 24th to go to the Marsden so that idea's been scotched). MRI scans show NEW THICKENING BEHIND THE TRACHY TUBE - which is most probably hard tissue formation but the possibility of tumour spread could not be ruled out. If it WAS tumour spread, this would mean that the cancer would have gone down the entire length of the windpipe and would therefore be inoperable. If it is tissue, then surgery can still be done, but it looks as though it's going to have to be laryngectomy.
Fuck.
Ing.
Hell.
Thursday: L to Churchill Hospital for MORE biopsies and flexible bronchoscopy to identify nature of thickening. Also swelling at the wound site. Constant nauseous feelings. Minor (?) infection. Preliminary thoughts: hard tissue, NOT tumour spread (amount of cancer looks unchanged). But we need to wait 'til early next week for definitive results. Will see Graham Cox on Monday afternoon to discuss - if all goes to plan, L will go in on Wednesday for the op.
L is now in bed most of the time. It's awful having to watch this slow decline, her fading ability to enjoy even basic pleasures. I just want this over and sorted, and L back to normal. Nothing is enjoyable without her.
I thought about e-mailing people privately with updates (and indeed tried to do so last week, but half the destinations came back as "undeliverable" - ask Robin, he received a copy) but feel it's less hassle to simply continue updates here.
― Marcello Carlin, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
Whatever works for you best, good sir. Said it before, say it again:
my best to you both, my eternal good wishes for her health especially.
Keep in touch as you can.
― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
What can I say? I'm an atheist but I'm praying harder than I ever
did when I was a believer. All the hope in the world.
― Robin Carmody, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
Watching a loved one decline is one of DG's greatest horrors, so you
have my deepest sympathy.
― DG, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
for all that it can be worth, hugs and wishes of better health/
― Geoff, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
Can only agree with above, will keep my fingers crossed for you both.
― Billy Dods, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)