my relationship went down the dumper

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and it was all my fault.

― rainy (rainy), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sorry to hear that. seriously. if it helps, take a nice walk.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh Rainy...I'm so sad to hear that. But are things truly unsalvageable?

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:04 (twenty-three years ago)

it's not that things between us were unsalvageable, it was mainly because I want to go back to having therapy and I want to do it by myself and sort myself out while standing on my own two feet.

It was just so sad last night we were walking around the streets at night and both crying and we had to carry these ginormous sandwiches that were about two feet long and then we had to chuck them in the rubbish bin and it was all like some sort of sad terrible metaphor.

― rainy (rainy), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry to hear that, god knows I've nothing constructive to say but hang in there.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I had a similar situation and I finally figured myself out and begged him to take me back and he did and it was even better than the first time around and continues to be more than marvelous.

If that helps at all.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:24 (twenty-three years ago)

im sorry to hear your relationship went toes-up rainy. you did a brave thing though by deciding to go it alone and sort out your head. good for you, and best of luck :-)

― donna (donna), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:37 (twenty-three years ago)

thank you. I feel okay, I know I am going to be alright, I just feel terrible, like a deserter or something. Mostly it's just sad and I worry about her because she's so sensitive and emotional. I asked all our friends to look after her, but they said she had already asked them to look after me. But what if she throws away all the presents I gave her?

― rainy (rainy), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I am very sorry to hear this. But if it makes you feel any better I also spent last night crying (though not wandering the streets) because my relationship is finished. And at least you are the person who chose to end it so you can understand why this seemed the right thing to do. Rather than like me (and presumably her) wondering what the fuck happened there.

― isadora (isadora), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:47 (twenty-three years ago)

do you think she might? and what would that mean if she did? she may do it to clear her mind then regret it, or she may not do anything of the sort. dont stress over things like that, you have no control over them.
i know what you mean about feeling like a deserter, its true that even though you know it was the thing to do, that doesnt make you feel great about it. try to focus on why you ended this, and look ahead with optimism.

oh isadora i am sorry to hear your news, you posted as i typed. what is this? must be that new moon the other night!

― donna (donna), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:55 (twenty-three years ago)

:-( :-( *big hugs* Drop me a line privately if you need to, and my best for the both of you.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 November 2002 01:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Why did your relationship end?

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Friday, 8 November 2002 03:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Somewhat OT, but related to the gift discarding theme: I ended a friendship with someone I had a long-standing crush on, after finding out she'd been having an affair, etc. It's all very complicated actually. (In fact, I was living in a bit of a fantasy and was not prepared to offer her anything serious, so I had no real excuse for being so upset.) However, I remember throwing away some photographs of her and taking a special ceramic bowl she had given me and putting it under running water. An instruction booklet that came with it warned against using water on it, as that could break it. In fact, it did not break. I changed my mind and stopped trying to destroy it, and I retrieved the photos which somewhat miraculously had not been ruined by being in the trash. There's not big happy ending here, except that I still have some things she gave me. The friendship wasn't really workable anymore.

― Rockist Scientist, Friday, 8 November 2002 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Somewhat OT, but related to the gift discarding theme: I ended a friendship with someone I had a long-standing crush on, after finding out she'd been having an affair, etc. It's all very complicated actually. (In fact, I was living in a bit of a fantasy and was not prepared to offer her anything serious, so I had no real excuse for being so upset.) However, I remember throwing away some photographs of her and taking a special ceramic bowl she had given me and putting it under running water. An instruction booklet that came with it warned against using water on it, as that could break it. In fact, it did not break. I changed my mind and stopped trying to destroy it, and I retrieved the photos which somewhat miraculously had not been ruined by being in the trash. There's not a big happy ending here, except that I still have some things she gave me. The friendship wasn't really workable anymore.

― Rockist Scientist, Friday, 8 November 2002 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry about the double post. I thought I had caught it in time. Wanted to add an indefinite article in there.

― RS, Friday, 8 November 2002 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Rainy, I was once the dumped in such a situation, but it was clear that she was doing what she had to do, despite our continuing love for each other. It hurt, of course, but in a funny way it's a better way to be dumped than if you'd simply gone off her. Hopefully she'll be able to give you support in a different way now or sometime in the future.

Most important is that you did right by you. Don't let yourself forget that.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 8 November 2002 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

oh rainy why am i never on the internet when these things happen? i am so sorry i was not there for you. what they said: getting yourself sorted is the most important thing, and like teeny said, once you are ready, the relationship may still be salvageable. hugs.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 9 November 2002 08:57 (twenty-three years ago)

i ruined my friendship:( of course it wasnt just me, it had all gone wrong, but she offered an olive branch and a new start and i am so unbelievably stupid that i didnt take it because i was still hurt and now she weont listen and its too late and i am sad for ever:(

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 9 November 2002 09:01 (twenty-three years ago)

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