why do some persons find it hard to say "Thank you"?

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I posed this question to a young friend of mine. "The reason is because he/she will appear weak if they say "Thank you". It is a sign that they needed that thing". I find that rather depressing, eh tu?

― jameslucas, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is it the Danes who don't have a word/s for 'thank you'? I think that would make it difficult to say it.

For English speaking nations, I think it is not necessarily hard for some people but it is too easily forgotten or taken for granted. Also, people don't realise how much 'thank you' can mean - it could mean the difference between a shitty day and a good day for someone. It is always the little things that count, and saying 'thank you' counts. I always seem to mention this in job interviews and while it impresses the interviewers and they agree with me, they don't ever say 'thank you' to their staff/colleagues.

― Mascara, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, rather depressing. I always try to say it as a matter of course, though I find myself saying more to perfect strangers who are serving me like waiters than to friends. Does casualness imply manners?

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was brought up to be scrupulously polite and, sadly, cannot kill the gene that reacts against it.

― Robin Carmody, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I recommend a few weeks in Japan. Before long you will not only be saying Thank You and Sorry at every opportunity, but also bowing deeply while doing so.

― Momus, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is it just me or is momus starting to remind anyone of that newsradio episode where andy dick incredibly showy about the obvious mundanities of his recent trip to japan until he eventually reveals that he never even got on the plane?

― ethan, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"why do some persons find it hard to say "Thank you"?"
Because some people are bloody rude, that's why.

― DG, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Seems that there are two types of thank you's: the casual 'thanks' to people you don't know/work with, and the heartfelt 'thank you' to a friend. It's not a sign of weakness to say those words--it's a nice of politeness. Living in NYC, don't hear them that often... I have had mean 'thanks' when holding doors open for people when leaving a shop. Is a mean one better than none at all?

― matthew, Saturday, 18 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have no problem expressing my thanks to friends/acquaintances/complete strangers. I will admit, though, that occasionally my "thank you" has been so soft-spoken that it was inaudible to the person it was meant for. And once in a *very* great while I've been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I've neglected to say the magic words. And I really really hate it when people respond to this inaudible/missing "thank you" with a petulant "your welcome". It's so rude and childish, I would never do that.

― Arthur, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I recommend a few weeks in Japan. Before long you will not only be saying Thank You and Sorry at every opportunity, but also bowing deeply while doing so.

Hah! I never do. Why? Because it is extremely difficult knowing how deep you have to bow. If you bow too deep, you look silly. If you don't bow deep enough, you will be considered impolite. So I don't. I really find some Japanese to be extremely condescending. As though they are better than us, Nick. That is the impression I get from your statement. I know how to say thank you in several languages AND MEAN IT. Doomo arigato gozaimashita. :-)

― nathalie (nathalie), Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

People who demand gratitude are sick and insecure and need help. And I'm helping them by letting them do stuff for me and not thanking them. It's hardly charitable to do somebody a favour just to receive some 'thanks' in return for it, is it now?

― dave q, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I always smile when parents try teaching their children manners by telling them to say "thank you"

"Say 'thank you' Johnny" Surely it should be "Say 'thank you' please Johnny"

― jamesmichaelward, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"People who demand gratitude are sick and insecure and need help. And I'm helping them by letting them do stuff for me and not thanking them. It's hardly charitable to do somebody a favour just to receive some 'thanks' in return for it, is it now" dave q: you're one of THEM aren't you! Come on now I'm not talking about activities per se more about attitude. To assume you don't need to thank is one way to create an insular world, where eventually no one will want to help you. But maybe that's OK, in our cubes with remote controls and the net, we really don't need each other...scary.

― jameslucas, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Alanis Morrisette says thankyou alot, maybe that's got something to do with it

But, I think it's important to say please and thankyou, and put your rubbish in a bin and not to spit in the street etc.

― jel, Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My personal fave is where in certain parts of America, the accepted response to "thank you" is not "you're welcome", but instead "uh- huh". No class at all.

― Dave M., Sunday, 19 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If someone holds the door for me or whatever I reward them with such a lovely smile that words would seem superfluous.

― Emma, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Because they have a lisp?

Emma, that is not a lovely smile. It is a loony grin. Learn the difference of perish when they pass the care in the community shoot to kill policy.

― Pete, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am so chastened by Pete's remarks that in future I will bin the smile and just blow kisses at the bus driver, sandwich shop man, people who hold the door etc.

― Emma, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I say 'Thanks' rather too much. I say it *as I'm handing over the money* for the item I've just selected, again as I receive my change, possibly again if the sales assistant bags the item up, and once more as I leave the premises (with "b'bye" tagged on).

I've never been known to thank India, though.

― Michael Jones, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blowing kisses? How charming.

― Lyra, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

four years pass...

today someone held a door for me and i was preoccupied w/ something important and not really paying attention, so i forgot to thank the guy. i just forgot. usually i'm polite about that stuff. but sometimes being a nice person isn't my top priority.

but then he had to be all uppity and blurt out "YOU'RE WELCOME," like i should give him the key to the city cuz he didn't slam the door in my face. i guess i was supposed to say "thank you" retroactively, but i told him "fuck off" and felt really good about it.

― born-again christians in the old corral (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

I try to be scrupulously polite. It doesn't cost anything and lets people know that, however conventionally and formally, I acknowledge their individual dignity as human beings.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

It's all about the balance, innit. xpost

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Ah yes, I believe there was a very similar thread recently.

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

I usually just say "ta!"

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

This is why I wear headphones all the time in public. (otherwise, I'm generous with the "thank you"s)

― dali madison's nut (donut), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

Peter Cetera finds it hard to say he's sorry. He also wants you to hold him.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

Ah yes, I believe there was a very similar thread recently.

ha, i thought there was! i didn't see it in the search results.

― born-again christians in the old corral (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

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