I'm supposed to be going to a meeting in an hour but don't want to go. Can anyone supply a plausible excuse I could use?

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It's cold and wet and miserable outside, it's Friday, I don't really need to go to this meeting which will drag on for hours and be a huge waste of time. Some people might be a bit pissed off if I don't go, but it's not the end of the world.

What excuse can I give for not being able to go? What's the best excuse you've ever given for something?

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Squits.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:57 (twenty-three years ago)

excuse you can give: I don't really need to go to this meeting which will drag on for hours and be a huge waste of time

my best excuse ever: the dog ate it (doesn't work very well with meetings though)

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Why not?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

The trick is to make it as completely bizarre as possible, then if anyone questions it just ask them if they really think you have the imagination to make it up. Always works for me. My best always involve accidents/invasion and small animals (like the time I got attacked by a pigeon on my way out of the front door, god knows how it got into the close, and the time I woke up and there was a dead cat in the garden - these actually happened btw). There's always the old burst pipe excuse, it is getting cold out

― Plinky (Plinky), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh no! so much rain! my kitchen is flooded!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

You got stuck in a lift. It's worked for me on a number of occasions - nobody ever dares not believe it. You just have to make sure it's a lift in a building where nobody will be able to check (I usually say it was at Mum's office - it's nice and vague).

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 8 November 2002 09:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I get irritated by unnecessary time-wasting, N. (Spending time posting here is of course v constructive and not wasting my time at all).

So many meetings are pointless. I can e-mail everyone in two seconds flat and appraise them of what they need to know. I don't need to spend hours while everyone faffs about getting sidetracked and ending up talking about that they're doing tonight.

I'm in a really bad mood this morning. I think I need more caffeine. Bah.

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 10:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry CJ - my 'why not?' was directed at greg, not you. I completetly understand why you wouldn't want to go to the cockfarming meeting.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 8 November 2002 10:16 (twenty-three years ago)

why not what? why doesn't 'my dog ate it' work as an excuse for not turning up to meetings? that'd never work! everyone knows dogs can't digest meetings very well.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 8 November 2002 10:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Well I think you're wrong. But I guess everyone has their opinion.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 8 November 2002 10:37 (twenty-three years ago)

my dog ate me.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 November 2002 10:40 (twenty-three years ago)

dog meet.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I have had my legs amputated for health reasons, and thus cannot make the meeting.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 8 November 2002 12:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Kilian the day after the meeting: *looks down at feet* "It's a miracle!!"|

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 8 November 2002 13:15 (twenty-three years ago)

or: "my dog created me a new pair of legs!!"

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 November 2002 13:29 (twenty-three years ago)

It's boring but effective "I'm sorry, if you want me to meet this deadline/ finish the project etc then I can't come."

Ones I have used:

"Sorry I have to do a phone interview in 20 minutes."
"Sorry I'm getting loads of spam e-mail and systems support say I have to stay here and keep deleating them or my account will freeze."
"I'm trying to sort out that mess with the ... thing in the ... courrier room."

or total honesty which did work:
"You know marketing meetings bring me out in a rash. I'll just sit there in silence looking like a sulkt teenager and crossing myself whenever anyone says 'core brand values'. You don't really want me there do you? It's a waste of my time and yours."

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 8 November 2002 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

At work when my boss tries to get me to do boring things I make a face and tell him I don't want to, and then don't do it, then he ends up doing it. Groan loudly and say 'nooooooo, I DON'T want to!'

― alix (alix), Friday, 8 November 2002 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

"i'm busy building a pig from a kit" always works for me. that or "there's been a disturbance in the force and i'm needed elsewhere". (i don't use that second one actually)

― Alan (Alan), Friday, 8 November 2002 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Was the meeting successfully avoided? It's raining here too, but thankfully no meeting (and three-day weekend coming up, rah!).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 November 2002 16:04 (twenty-three years ago)

well? Did you avoid it ?

I've got an awful 2 day meeting in a couple of weeks, I already got out of the first showing but now its come round again and there is no way I can skive it this time. aaarrghh.

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Friday, 8 November 2002 16:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I got renowned at university for complete honesty with excuses. I never once got in trouble for it (though I did get investigated for (non-existent) plagiarism, which may bve a karma thing).

I once also actually did have my homework stolen by burglars.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 8 November 2002 16:38 (twenty-three years ago)

i bet alang so does use the second excuse, i bet he's got a lightsabre under his desk and EVERYTHING ;)

i like meetings, they're fun...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 8 November 2002 16:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I toyed with the idea of fibbing and saying I was poorly or had been in a car accident on the way to work or kidnapped by aliens but dismissed these because (a) I'm not a convincing liar and (b) it would probably tempt fate.

So I phoned to give my apologies and say I couldn't make it because I was swamped with work and had ineluctable deadlines (which was true) only to be told that the person chairing it had just phoned in sick so it was all cancelled anyway! So hurrah! I didn't need to tell porkies, which is A Very Good Thing.

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 16:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I once said "I had to empty the bit bucket," when I was late to a meeting; I think they bought it.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 9 November 2002 03:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Andrew L's flatmate, G, once wanted to avoid a social event and asked another mutual friend, M, to just make up an excuse for him. He found out later that the made-up excuse was that G had got Daisy Waugh pregnant and was busy going to visit Auberon Waugh (son of Evelyn, for those less familiar with the family) for her hand in marriage. I believe there were people still believing this years later. No one has ever asked M to make up excuses for them again.

That excuse may be even less plausible from you, CJ, being female.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 9 November 2002 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

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