There is a teddy bear abandoned on my road

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it was just thrown on the road, this made me feel really sad that someone would just do this. i felt sad about people in general yesterday evening, and then this. i am going to save him tonight, hopefully he wont be too ruined, and i can clean him up a bit (think the rain has probably taken its toll though)

i may keep him, or perhaps you know of a child that might like him?

― gareth (gareth), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Somewhere there is probably some poor bereft toddler mourning the loss of Teddy. You should save the bear, clean him up, then put an advert in the local shop window to see if you can get him back to his rightful owner.

A little girl once accidentally left her teddy bear behind in one of Raymond Blanc's restaurants. The staff traced the child, rang to say the bear would be returned, then carefully packaged him up, swathed in a little blanket they made for him and posted him back to her. They even remembered to make little air holes in the box so the bear wouldn't suffocate.

Actually, it wasn't "they". It was "me". I am a great big silly old Hector :)

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Garteth is is probably riddled with anthrax. Put it back.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:24 (twenty-three years ago)

hehehe. this thread makes people project their sappiness elsewhere:

i may keep him
translation: awwwww, i'm keeping him!

or perhaps you know of a child that might like him?
translation: if you do, keep it quiet. i'm keeping him

Actually, it wasn't "they". It was "me". I am a great big silly old Hector
awwwwww. hehe, "they". i wasn't fooled for a second ;)

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I like this thread, it's kinda like the glass is half empty, half full thing.

Take the Teddy in, is what I say. I veer towards the theory of some kid losing it.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Awww CJ, I'm welling up......

― Plinky (Plinky), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I know it's been a rude couple of days but saying Gareth is fizzing with anthrax is going too far, N.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Who is Garteth anyway?

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Garteth the Valiant from Beyond Space!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I have checked the Anthrax Information website and there is no mention of it being transmitted via discarded teddy bears. It does mention something about goat hair though, so that's worth bearing in mind.

Unless of course N meant that Garteth (the Valiant) was riddled with the heavy metal band Anthrax? That would be a worry indeed.

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 11:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"hi, you've reached (the Mighty) Garteth. i can't come to ILE right now because i'm washing the bear (mental note: add washing the bear to euphemism thread)."

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 8 November 2002 12:06 (twenty-three years ago)

and what do you do after you've washed the bear? You wring it out, of course....

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 8 November 2002 12:08 (twenty-three years ago)

or fluff up his fur.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 8 November 2002 12:10 (twenty-three years ago)

'Washing the bear' sounds a bit ordinary, doesn't it?

How about 'Giving my bear a good soaping'. That's much more, er, euphemistic.

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 12:33 (twenty-three years ago)

scrubbing the yogi

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 November 2002 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Offer to donate it to Mike Kelley.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 8 November 2002 13:16 (twenty-three years ago)

aw this thread is cute!

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 8 November 2002 13:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Gareth -- You are a very nice person. Full of love.

― James, Friday, 8 November 2002 13:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I demand scans!

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 8 November 2002 14:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I love it how this thread turned from Twee to Richard Pryor with so few posts...

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 8 November 2002 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Scrubbing the yogi is best euphemism ever! Can I use that one please jel? (with all due acknowledgements, natch)

― C J (C J), Friday, 8 November 2002 15:44 (twenty-three years ago)

you need to rescue it before the evil dustbin men come and attach it to the front of their truck until it dies.

― koogs, Friday, 8 November 2002 16:15 (twenty-three years ago)

feel free CJ!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 8 November 2002 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

cor i found a tennis ball on my road on the way back home! alas i have no friends so i left it there. it all felt significant

― bob zemko (bob), Saturday, 9 November 2002 00:53 (twenty-two years ago)

run it over and put it out of its misery. im feeling grumpy - kill the bear!
either that or send it to me, my son would probably like it.

― donna (donna), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i rescued him. hes very sodden and smelly. i've put him in a bag in the hall to dry out. i need to wash and disinfect him, is a washing machine going to break him though. perhaps a soak in a plastic tub of disinfectant should do it?

i have called him Nelson

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 9 November 2002 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Does he have an arm missing then?

Unless he is really falling apart at the seams, the best way to wash him is to put him inside a pillow case (tie this shut with string or an elastic band or something) and then put him in the washing machine on a 40 degree wash.

Nelson is a brilliant name, btw.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 9 November 2002 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

no hes completely intact, just very wet and sodden

inside a pillowcase, what a great idea! i hadnt thought of this.

i shall photograph him tonite, and then when i have nursed him back to healt. L in manchester has already said she wants to give him a home, but will i be able to part with him?

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 9 November 2002 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

What size Teddy is he? Please post his measurements, and I will make some clothes for him.

Nelson = ilXor mascot!!

― C J (C J), Saturday, 9 November 2002 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i guess he is about a foot tall (i cant measure him now because i am at work doing overtime)

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 9 November 2002 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

he has survuved the washing machine. he is draining in a bag now

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 11 November 2002 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Tumble dry him, it'll make him all fluffy again, if you just leave him to dry he'll get all matted (not that I know anything about the washing of teddy bears....)

― Plinky (Plinky), Monday, 11 November 2002 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you post a pic of Nelson, please? I'd love to see him, even if he is bedraggled. Also still awaiting measurements, as he needs clothes!!

― C J (C J), Monday, 11 November 2002 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Rah! He should be taken around the world and photographed in various locations. Like that gnome from Amelie but, you know, cooler.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 11 November 2002 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

have to wait for pics i'm afraid, till film is used up and developed...

he does have a scarf, but i am sure he'd appreciate some other clothes

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 11 November 2002 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i remember seeing a news item about some teddy bear that was passed on from one airline to another and then auctioned off for charity..

or was that my imagination?

― jellybean (jellybean), Monday, 11 November 2002 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if it was some evil cursed teddy bear that caused crashes or something.

Some plane I was on ... must have been American tour coz Jane was the one who pointed it out ... had this Teddy bear strapped into the seats reserved For Staff Only. We thought we weren't too keen on NWA's hiring policy, and hoped that their pilots were more competant...

― kate, Monday, 11 November 2002 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

NWA?

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 11 November 2002 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

North West Airlines.

You're not the first to make the joke. My brother used to work for them, during his ill advised "I think I'll go live in Minnesoter" period. He stole the tape of their theme music that they used in their ads and stuff, simply so he could have a tape in his collection that said NWA on, provoking "Wow, your tastes have really changed..." comments, what with him being a reactionary republican right winger and all.

― kate, Monday, 11 November 2002 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh. Just thought you mistyped TWA. Potentially rubbish 'Fuck The British Transport Po-Lice' joke-type disaster averted...

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 11 November 2002 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

That's very nice of you. I mean, if it was a rabbit I would have worried it was the Velveteen Rabbit, but since it's a teddy...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 11 November 2002 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.norfolkwindmills.com/images/nelson.jpg

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Awwww! He's adorable!

Please send measurements (Nelson's, not yours!!), and I will send clothes!

― C J (C J), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

That's a really good bear! Well done for saving it.

I have a teddy bear that needs a new leather jacket, CJ. Its chest is about 40". Yes, it is quite a big bear...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it as gorgeous and cuddly as Gareth's bear, with the same sort of lop-sided funny face, a slight divergant squint, and a Bay City Rollers scarf?

40" chest, eh? My, my, that IS a big bear! Why, you could hardly get your arms around a bear *that* big! I bet it hogs the bed, too.

― C J (C J), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

He looks dapper in that scarf and he knows it.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Dapper, but in a coy and appealing way.

― C J (C J), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

His chin is cocked upward a bit, just enough to look confident but in a non-threatening way. A very poised bear.

― Paddington (amateurist), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, to be fair, he's been through a lot. He can probably afford to be a little smug.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 30 December 2002 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

He wouldn't look out of place at a B&S concert.

― Paddington (amateurist), Monday, 30 December 2002 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I am definitely a fag.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 April 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, Ally, I am, too.

― rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 19 April 2003 00:03 (twenty-two years ago)

That means I need to make you a crush cd!

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 19 April 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

When I'm not fagging it up with a copy of Out magazine or boosting my collagen injections or purchasing rare Martha Wash demo tapes, I'm kicking it with my stromie, my homie, "Montgomery" the Teddy Bear.

(This thread, which I've now despoiled, and the kitten one both go on my top ten list. The kitten one for the "OMG!" picture alone.)

― g*bbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 April 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Fagging it up! Ally, we definitely have to fag it up at the next FAP.

― rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 19 April 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

If you tell me who Jean Teasdale is, I'll try to want to be her.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 April 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the fictional characters writing for The Onion, Martin. Big fan of Beanie Babies and making brownies with added imitation choc chips and mini-marshmallows. Twee to the max with the same level of 'oh God, please, no, don't do that' as The Office.

(She's actually one of my favorites, although those coloumns always make me feel sad.)

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 19 April 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah yes - I have read her some. I don't know that I can manage to want to be her, I'm afraid.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 April 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

I never had a teddy growing up-- I had a Snoopy.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I still wake up sometimes clutching this big white teddy bear. I don't know how it happens. I didn't go to sleep that way.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Gareth and his bear.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

It is about time for a bear update.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if it could ever replace the one stolen at the Adorable gig?

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

One day I will have to answer for all of my crimes against truth.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

*looks down at watch*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

http://spacelink.nasa.gov/Site.Map.and.Information/Spacelink.Clip.Art.and.Articles/Logo-Large.gif

― Dada, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 04:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth, you are so twee! How do you feel about dating women who have Masters degrees in Christian theology?

― Heather (Heather), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Aww, I have an orphan teddy bear too! We found him all wet and slightly moldy and he has now slept in our bed for 2 1/2 years. We checked for "missing bear"-notes for weeks where we found him though.

― Hanna (Hanna), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 08:24 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

Goddamn, I am almost too incapacitated by tweeness to do this. Almost.
http://home.earthlink.net/~brinkroad/images/bear.jpg

I found this guy in the building trash chute. He was peering over the edge, very tragic like, and even though I'm a pretty big jerk I could not push him over. So now I guess I have to sew up his foot and throw him in the wash and then give him away if I do not die of excessive tweeness.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 24 October 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

haha i misread it as 'he was peeing over the edge very tragic like'

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 24 October 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

ha!

(he looks slightly menacing, no?)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 24 October 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

He looks like the milk-weeping teddy in Akira...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 24 October 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

you did the right thing in saving him

― charltonlido (gareth), Friday, 24 October 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

You need to give it back to Arnold Jackson of Park Place.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 24 October 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I knit him an outfit?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I am totally calling him Akira now.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(You are free to knit him an outfit.) (Just don't let Fall fashion pass him by.)

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

http://home.pacbell.net/bettychu/2003allbreedbisris/skylar_-_4_(2).jpg

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
nothing to see here. move along.

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

He looks like the Hysteric Glamour "Fuck" bear. R, can you knit him an outfit with an Hysteric Glamour logo?

― Mary (Mary), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Here are some clothing ideas

http://www.monomagazine.com/monoonline/scripts/mag_special/images/448_02.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Friday, 24 October 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

oh that looks so difficult

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 24 October 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That's okay; the HG bear is usually naked.

― Mary (Mary), Friday, 24 October 2003 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha, Carey, aren't those pics terrifying?

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 25 October 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has restored my faith in humanity.

― Johnney B, Saturday, 25 October 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

restored your faith in humanity? wow. all this thread has done is convince me that there are two mentalists out there who like saving teddy bears

― geeta (geeta), Saturday, 25 October 2003 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe people through these teddy's away because they are evil like Chucky or something :)

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 25 October 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I used the wrong throw. I am truly sorry.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 25 October 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

What is wrong with ILX that we are all in our mid20s or higher and we carry around bears? There is something seriously wrong with Gareth and bnw and myself.

― Allyzay, Monday, 27 October 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought that went without saying?

― Nicolars (Nicole), Monday, 27 October 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair enough, comrade. Fair enough.

― Allyzay, Monday, 27 October 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

What is wrong with ILX that we are all in our mid20s or higher and we carry around bears? There is something seriously wrong with Gareth and bnw and myself.

I thought it was some kind of Brideshead Revisited sort of thing myself, but hey.

― kate (kate), Monday, 27 October 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm amazed that Gareth hasn't found any more bears. Or has his heart hardened over the past few months, so now he just walks by on the other side?

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 27 October 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

There may be a Bear Shortage.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Monday, 27 October 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

that Bear Tax is working like a charm

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 27 October 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

there's trouble bruin.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 27 October 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe what needs doing is for people to just anonymously leave bears on his stoop?

― Allyzay, Monday, 27 October 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait till you get to your early 30s and start spending more money on your doll's wardrobe than your own. Then you might have a problem.

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 27 October 2003 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm apparently going to have a baby by then so I don't get any dolls at all :( :(

― Allyzay, Monday, 27 October 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

AMBUSHED BY BABY: No dolls for you!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 October 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

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