Dirty Postcard Interception: C or D?

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My girlfriend was away, staying with her parents (in a foreign land). Her mum needed some stuff from here (London), and I bought it and sent it to her. In the package I included a postcard that was solely intended for my girlfriend. It was a kind of rude postcard. This was stupid - I should have put it at least in an envelope. So I told my girlfriend that she had to be the one to open the package. She said she'd make sure of it. Everything was fine.

Except the package has taken so long to arrive that my girlfriend is now back with me. The package will in fact be opened by her mother.

Fuck it, I'll describe the thing in question.

The printed side of the postcard, from the National Gallery, shows a Zurbaran painting of a saint meditating:

http://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/WebMedia/Images/23/NG230/eNG230.jpg

You can't see the guy's face so well in this image. In the painting, and the postcard, he's lost in adoration completely.

On the blank side, I drew a cartoon based on a true, minor, incident while my girlfriend was away. I drew myself, walking along the street, carrying shopping bags. There is a cartoony think bubble coming from my head. Inside that think bubble, I have drawn a vagina.

Below my cartoon, I give my title for each of these images. I wrote:

THIS SIDE: "Walking home from Waitrose thinking only of your cunt"
OTHER SIDE: "St. Francis, also thinking of your cunt"

That's it. This is going to my girlfriend's mum.

First question: how embarrassed should I be? Half the time when I think about her looking at this crap I laugh out loud. The rest of the time I'm horrified.

Second question: has anyone else ever had a similar horror? If so, please provide details, as I have.

Third question: given that the package I was sending was essentially for the mother, and that nowhere on the postcard do I mention my girlfriend's name, am I secretly wanting to fuck my girlfriend's mum?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:30 (twenty-three years ago)

good god, man. i think that gets you some kind of prize

― geeta (geeta), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Which prize?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:37 (twenty-three years ago)

The 'what the flying fuck were you thinking anyway?' prize.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll take it. I love prizes.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:54 (twenty-three years ago)

hahahahahahahahahaha.
sorry. its funny. i feel for you, really.
and thanks, you have made me laugh, i was grumpy before.

― donna (donna), Saturday, 9 November 2002 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Donna, I'm glad.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 9 November 2002 03:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I know that painting. He's not thinking of cunt.

― JoJo, Sunday, 10 November 2002 04:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Hahahahahahaha. This is brilliant.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 10 November 2002 04:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Banal problem-solver approach: can't you have you girlfriend call her mother and say "oh, there's a package on its way, but it was for me, so when you get it could you please just redirect it back to us?" Surely she wouldn't bother opening it if it meant she had to repack it for return shipping.

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 10 November 2002 08:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Er, her mum is expecting the package, which contains stuff that she asked for.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 10 November 2002 13:39 (twenty-three years ago)

you realise your girlfriend's mother will think you are thinking about her vagina. this could put you in her good books next time you visit.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 10 November 2002 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, but EK, surely if your girlfriend just said "oops, little problem, nevermind, send it back and we'll send you the right package" -- well, wouldn't her mother just sort of chuckle and write it off to one of those things young people do that she really doesn't need to know about?

If this were my mother I would lie and tell her that I got two packages mixed up, and please don't open the one I sent as it was meant to go to someone else, and just send it back and I'll switch them etc.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 11 November 2002 09:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd be worried about my girlfriend seeing it.

― Graham (graham), Monday, 11 November 2002 11:04 (twenty-three years ago)

yea, you have to say the wrong package got sent, could you redirect it back, the right package is on its way, ("hey, we sent you the package meant for, um, steve! could we have it back?)

oh, lordy, this is one of the dumbest, and the funniest things evah! i would be absolutely mortified! you need to get that package back

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 11 November 2002 11:48 (twenty-three years ago)

you know what will happen? Next time you are round your girlfriend's parents, your gf's mother will hand you the postcard, rude side up, saying "I believe this is yours?"

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 11 November 2002 12:38 (twenty-three years ago)

send her another postcard of Dali's the great masturbator, and write on the back, Neither Dali nor I have ever thought of your cunt in any size, shape or form.

― Queen G (Queeng), Monday, 11 November 2002 18:40 (twenty-three years ago)

hehehe...tell us what happens OK.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 11 November 2002 21:44 (twenty-three years ago)

This is GREAT BEYOND ALL IMAGINING (for us, anyway; I'm sure if this had happened to my I'd want to be swallowed up by a hole in the Earth).

(Heh heh "swallowed up by a hole")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 November 2002 21:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm sorry to report an unexciting conclusion to this thread.

When they tried to deliver the package my girlfriend's mum wasn't home. There was a card telling her to go to the post office.

My girlfriend told her mum over the phone to let her (my girlfriend's) gay opera singer pal pick up the package cos there was a personal letter from me in it.

He did so, removed the postcard, and took the rest of the stuff to the mum. She asked, "What was it I couldn't see?" He said, "Oh, it was rude".

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 01:36 (twenty-three years ago)

six years pass...

Everything about these old days was good.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 8 February 2009 00:47 (seventeen years ago)

good old eyeball kicks

― conrad, Sunday, 8 February 2009 01:21 (seventeen years ago)

I dunno about that, but it was a different life.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 8 February 2009 01:32 (seventeen years ago)

Also, can't be many image links older than this that are still working.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 8 February 2009 01:33 (seventeen years ago)

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