Best line from the wikipedia article on 1970s footballer Robin Friday

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Friday

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9d/Themandontgiveafuck.jpg

TBH he sounds insufferable, and I am not going to go near the biography by Paolo Hewitt and Guigsy, still this is certainly an action-packed wiki page.

Options will probably be cut off, so here they all are:

Friday regularly stole by this time, but despite numerous convictions, did not go to a detention centre until he was 16.
However, after he re-offended three months later he was sent to Feltham Borstal where he served 14 months.
He was selected for the prison league's all-star men's team, still aged 16, and allowed out of Borstal to train and play with Reading's youth team
The local controversy surrounding the interracial relationship caused the couple and their circle of friends to be socially isolated, and led to a physical attack on the group one night in an Acton public house.
Friday did not take his marital commitments seriously and continued to womanise, drink heavily and take narcotics.
While working on a roof in Lambeth, a hoist rope became stuck on the scaffold he was working on. The Hayes forward attempted to free the rope but fell and landed on a large spike: the spike went up through one of his buttocks, through his stomach and narrowly avoided a lung.
Not only was Friday strong enough to pull himself off the spike, he recovered from his injuries within three months and returned to the Hayes team in October 1972.
When he finally arrived, eighty minutes after kick-off, his intoxication was obvious, but he was still sent onto the pitch with the match still goalless. The opposition paid him little attention and Friday scored a late winning goal.
In his very first training session they were playing a six-a-side game and Robin went around trying to kick as many of the established Reading players as he could. He must have put two or three out of the game.
His new manager had to take him out of training on occasion because of the injuries he would inflict on his own teammates in his effort to win.
Reading immediately offered a professional contract, which Friday signed on 6 February 1974. His new salary was half what he had earned as an asphalter.
Friday was repeatedly and cynically fouled by the opposing players and sustained injuries necessitating five minutes on the sideline late in the first half. However, he recovered, returned to the game and set up both Reading goals
Friday was barred from Caversham's Crown public house after he ended a night there leaping between the tables and dancing on the bar. The Boar's Head in Reading banned him on ten separate occasions.
Friday, wearing a long overcoat and hobnail boots, walked onto the dancefloor and removed the coat to reveal that he was wearing nothing underneath. He then began to dance, completely naked apart from the boots.
barring Friday for his bizarre activities, including a dance he invented called "the elephant" which consisted of turning the pockets of his jeans inside out and undoing his flies to expose himself.
he would play his prized heavy metal records very loudly at any time of the day or night and take LSD with casual indifference.
Friday underwent an operation to have tattoos removed from his fingers during the summer break, and afterwards joined a hippie commune in Cornwall, neglecting to inform Reading of this latter decision.
Friday jumped over the wall and stole some stone angels from a grave, intending to place them beside the club chairman Frank Waller, who was sleeping on the coach. When he returned, Hurley sternly told him that "you must never ever desecrate a graveyard"
Later on the same night he walked into the bar carrying a swan that he had found in the hotel grounds.
Friday was still overjoyed after scoring the last-minute winner in Reading's 2–1 victory over Rochdale. In celebration he ran behind the net and kissed a policeman.
In the dressing room after the game he said, privately, that he wished he hadn't done it "because I hate coppers so much"
Going around the dining room and picking them off the tables, he stole a whole boxful of the glasses, which he managed to sneak out of the hotel and onto the team coach, but much to Cumming's annoyance he then decided to keep them for himself.
The wedding was filmed by Southern Television, before whose cameras Friday, wearing an open-necked tiger-skin-pattern shirt, brown velvet suit and snakeskin boots, sat on the steps of the church and rolled a joint.
Friday had invited about two hundred people, mostly friends and relatives from London, who joined in the drinking and drug-taking and ending up fighting each other and stealing the couple's wedding presents, one of which was a large quantity of cannabis.
Friday was so angry at his team's performance that he broke into the Mansfield dressing room and defecated in the team bath.
On arrival at Cardiff Central railway station, Friday was arrested by the British Transport Police for having travelled from Reading with only a platform ticket.
Andrews bailed his new player out of police custody and took him to Ninian Park to sign the contract.
The Fulham defence included former England captain Bobby Moore, but Friday marked his first match for the Welsh club with two goals; he also squeezed Moore's testicle during the game as Cardiff won 3–0.
He was supposed to be living in Bristol, but his manager would often find on visiting his house that he had been elsewhere for weeks.
"He wouldn't even bother to have a shower", Went later said, in an interview. "He'd just get dressed, take his carrier-bag with his dry martini and he'd go—no explanation".
he avoided paying rail fares by knocking on locked toilet doors and shouting, "Tickets, please!", pretending to be the ticket inspector. When the occupant passed his ticket under the door to be checked, Friday would pick it up, walk off and use it for himself.
In celebration, Friday jogged back past the goalkeeper while giving him the V-sign.
the players and staff were awoken in the middle of the night by loud bangs coming from below their rooms. The cause was found to be Friday, standing on the hotel's snooker table in his underpants and throwing the balls around the room in fury.
After failing to turn up for pre-season training with Cardiff before the 1977–78 season, Friday was reported to be in a London hospital suffering from an unknown virus which had caused him to lose 2 stone
Friday was marked during the game by Mark Lawrenson, who so frustrated the Cardiff forward with his close attention that Friday waited for Lawrenson to attempt a slide tackle and then kicked him in the face.
before leaving he broke into the Brighton dressing room and defecated in Lawrenson's kit bag.
He served a prison sentence during the 1980s for impersonating a police officer and confiscating people's drugs
The Cardiff-based band Super Furry Animals dedicated their 1996 single "The Man Don't Give a Fuck" to his memory.

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