people who send huge joke emails and clog up your mailbox c/d

It's okay, it's better than the usual load of virus emails I get.

This had never happened to me until recently (totally out of character) I joined a football team. All the other players are accountants or some other mysterious kind of tie-wearing worker, and they're sending things all the time to everybody they know, which now includes me, and I get these fucking annoying 4MB files all the time, which usually contain semi-funny video clips, which pisses me off.

The rest of the time, they send me updates on our league position. Which is unnecessary, as we're always bottom (P27 W0 D2 L25).

Dud.

dud because they are usually not funny but further dud when the people who sent them feel the need to bring them up when you see them in person and they laugh and laugh and you stare at them thinking 'somebody kill me now'.

People who send unsolicited files that are that big are fucking sociopaths. They should either learn how to FTP things to their homepage and send people a nice tidy sub-1K link to the thing, or they should be forcibly removed from the Internet.

Same goes to anyone who sends .exe files unsolicited, especially if they're "jokes" or any other type of item that is better sent as a standard and non-harmful type of file (.mpg, .jpg, etc). I keep telling people not to do this to me, even family, and yet these things still keep arriving in my inbox. Dammit.

Grrrr, people who send really huge adverts for stuff they're doing that I can't get to anyway in some stupid uncompressed non-standard format, so I wait ages for that message to load and finally the "downloading message" counter increments and I think YES at LAST and then STILL nothing happens and when I finally got my mail I find they've sent it twice or more saying, "Ooo, I don't think that attachment worked, let's try again!" AAARGHHRGHHKKK *explodes*

I thought I'd already mentioned this, but I can't find it: a junior officer and student at the military college started a skydiving club and decided to advertise it by emailing a ten megabyte video clip of people skydiving naked (yes, naked) to absolutely everyone at the college, commanding officers, academic staff and head, all the sysadmins, everyone. Duh...

I wrote a really offensive template email to send to people who did this. It outlined the facts that what they're doing is a) illegal, b) not funny, and c) downright annoying and could they please not do it anymore.

The last time I needed to use it was 2 or 3 years ago. :)

DUD. I meant to do a template email, but I ended up just getting a new email address and not telling it to anyone who sends them. I think I've been getting virus emails again, the subject line is "welcome to your new home" or something. Nothing as good as "so cool a flash enjoy".

"Welcome to your new home" and the like are usually adverts for dodgy financial planning institutions. (and I use the term 'institution' loosely)

It wasn;t me... I swear!!! I was in Cheshunt at the time! No, REALLY!!!

then again, it couldhave been. i have little memory left....

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

As bored as bosko.