Things society decorator, Nicky Haslam, finds common.

lol bono

lol @ "Knighthoods"

for a Society Director, is "common" a good thing or bad? seems like it must be good, but it's fun to imagine this as a shitlist

This is totally a shitlist

nope - common is dull, common is a frightful bore, common is beneath contempt

xp djp otm

"Relaxing"

This is an almost unimpeachable list. Magnificent.

xp pretty sure that refers to conspicuous "relaxing" as an activity rather than just a state of being

amazing list, no idea what he has against washing your hands after using the loo though

I wouldn't be so sure xp

yeah this is some real-headz trve-poshness. the old money shit

old money vs new money is the real class war (in mr haslam's head)

Haslam was born at Great Hundridge Manor, Amersham, Buckinghamshire, the third son of diplomat William Heywood Haslam (1889–1981)[1] and his wife, the former Diamond Louise Constance Ponsonby, known as Diana, who was a granddaughter of the 7th Earl of Bessborough, a goddaughter of Queen Victoria

I had to look up Farrow & Ball (how common of me):

Farrow & Ball are a British manufacturer of paints and wallpapers largely based upon historic colour palettes and archives. Their colour names, such as Elephant's Breath, have become talking points in themselves.

I am also cracking up at "Pronouncing the e in furore"

farrow and ball's new-money cachet is much-discussed by excellent pomo rock band The Pre New, viz.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-rmbjvK1Pg

Washing hands after the loo

this is such a funny list!

voted "Richard Branson"

nicky haslam gets his colour-matched farrow & ball paint from johnstone's trade paints

I really should have included "central heating" in the options. It was hard getting rid of some.

Going to the gym

(is it still 50 max options?)

In 2016 he was reported to be a supporter of the Conservative Party.[9]

Need receipts for that.

xps nah, he's a bespoke wallpaper at £7000 per sq ft kinda guy

old money vs new money is the real class war (in mr haslam's head)

― imago,

That's the reason Scottish accents is on there since Scots'w/ old money have English accents

Need receipts for that.

writing in "receipts"

Pronouncing the last t in trait? I had no idea you couldn't.

You can, it's just that no one will have the faintest idea what you're talking about.

So "trait" should reflect its foreign origin, but "furore" shouldn't. Too utterly confusing.

Being ill

Only ever befalls commoners iirc.

What if....he's talking about the FIRST t

Oh wait he specifies

Oh wai I mean

Maybe the dropped t is a sort of Real England signifier

Pronouncing the final t is truer to the original Latin and hence less plebeian.

Old-money England is full of deliberate errors and dropped consonants - it's all Masonic code basically, you only belong if you know it's Fanshaw etc

Was he kidding in making this list? Like playing on some actual snobbish reputation? I'm uncertain.

I was gonna say, not reading all this yet but it's cracking, and nothing strikes me as more declasse than try hard posturing about what's common

it's all Masonic code basically, you only belong if you know it's Fanshaw etc

I do enjoy a good shibboleth every now and then.

If you've gotta state the rules, you're a poser

That's because there are none, obv.

Solid list tho

Has anyone reached out to Michael Gira for a comment?

In 2013 he released an album celebrating his singing and memories with his friends Helena Bonham Carter, Tracey Emin, Amanda Eliasch, Bob Geldof, Bryan Ferry and Mick Jagger; called "Midnight Matinee", it was produced by his friend David Ogilvy.[10]

y'all this is on Spotify

answers to some of these mysteries might well be found behind the telegraph paywall:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/common-clue-do-like-womans-hour-farrow-ball-uber/

Saying 'bon appétit' before nibbling at your coquille Saint-Jacques also a faux pas in French high society. Explicit references to bodily passions are nagl, goes without saying.

y'all this is on Spotify

i'll tell you now, that's the strongest positive reading on my do-not-want meter since coronavirus

Anyway…

https://i.imgur.com/Wd95Avp.jpg

A couple of the above are listed on my latest tea towel (itself a term common as muck, should be ‘drying-up clawth...)

nicky haslam in a banana suit

Many are personal gripes. Pronouncing the last ‘t’ in ‘trait’ – it’s a French word, as is ‘furore’, so don’t stress the ‘e’, which newsreaders invariably do, who also say Argentinians. They aren’t; they are Argentines.

otm

xp

clawth

wtf

Scented Candles
"Nicky" Scented candle by NH Design

The masculine fragrance of ‘Nicky’, a NH Design Scented Candle, rekindles the nostalgic aroma of firelight, wood-smoke and waxed floors.

Contact us for distributor information.

http://www.nh-design.co.uk/accessories/

hypocrite

Busted.

by my green candle!

or should i say, buy my green candle!

Washing hands after the loo put many backs up, but the point is that very few people don’t, therefore doing it is (thank heavens and Mr Dyson) common.

So basically for each entry define 'common' in whichever way makes it correct.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FtoyL6l4p6I"; frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

https://youtu.be/FtoyL6l4p6I

That u in buy is frightfully common too.

tough deciding which of these annoying things is most annoying tbh

Washing hands after the loo put many backs up, but the point is that very few people don’t, therefore doing it is (thank heavens and Mr Dyson) common.

Basically he wrote something that even his society friends were repulsed by so he backpedaled.

thank heavens and Mr Dyson

I think I'm going to have to go for 'swans'

Disappointed "most young Royals" didn't make the list

I'd say invite Haslam to ILX but we are common as dog muck tbf

Torn between Bono, the t in trait and the Proms

Remember about 20 years ago when NH suddenly decided he wanted to look like Liam Gallagher? NAGL.

I'd never heard of him until I came across this list but I did look at some photos of him yesterday and he looks awful.

he looks like the tiger king

he does.

he's mentioned in a Tom Wolfe essay from like 1929 or something

nicky hallam

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Nick_Clegg_-_World_Economic_Forum_Annual_Meeting_2011_%28cropped%29.jpg

I'm an unreconstructed crashing snob about two of these - coloured bath towels and cappuccinos after 11am - but as neither are on the vote list, I've gone with the most OMGWTFLOL option.

which is...?

That's between me and the ballot box.

Surely working as - or indeed engaging the services of - a "society decorator" is frightfully common?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Looking forward to Whit Stillman’s Haslam (2021)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

good winner, actually.

http://www.nh-design.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/IMG_06812-778x1024.jpg

£18 (INCL. VAT P&P TO UK)

£24 SIGNED (USING TEXTILE PERMANENT MARKER)

omgggg

I voted for Swans

new poll

U, POST-COVID

Being chaste
Live-in staff
A chest freezer
Pictures of your children volunteering
Having a driver
Doing your own nails
Zoom-calling your therapist
Waving in the street
Open windows, all year
Builders’ merchants
Bowing instead of shaking hands
Separate bedrooms
Personal trainers
Tinned food
Dressing for dinner
Owning a bike
Holidaying in the British Isles
Ensuite bathrooms
Walking
Having a pen pal
Keeping chickens
Paying for a new hospital wing
The private room – or booking every room
Knowing someone who’s working on the vaccine
Investing in Learjet
New soap

NON-U, POST-COVID
Careless kissing
Crowded drinks parties
A dirty kitchen
Ocado
Hugging your parents
Complaining about travel
Borrowing lipstick
Online cocktails
Cheating
Leaning in at dinner
Being late for a reservation
Redecorating
Sharing cigarettes
Dogs on the bed
Steam rooms
Tapas
‘Festivals’ in your garden
Using a hanky, not a tissue
Weddings abroad
Carrying cash
Bare feet
Hot tubs on skiing holidays
The phrase ‘the new normal’
Queue-barging
Bringing a surprise plus-one (or plus-five)
Discussing your antibody test
Homemade masks in floral fabric

- https://www.tatler.com/article/new-rules-of-social-engagement-u-and-non-u

Homemade masks in floral fabric

This is presumably in contrast to buying expensive ones from Liberty's. But I bet there's a certain cachet among Tatler circles in having home made masks made by junior members of the aristocracy filling their time in the long university break.

A bit of dialogue in episode four of bbc/hbo's Industry:

- hopefully, if I go, they won’t invite me to the wedding
- yes there are few things more common than a wedding
- like what?
- Richard Branson, skiing in France, airline pyjamas.