How did I get here?? (Thread for ILXors in their 60s and beyond)

How is it even possible? And where is my discount?

The mysterious aches of the last decade are now old friends.

*bookmarks page for sooner than you think use*

I still have a few weeks left

Damn y’all are old af cheers

That is no way to talk to your betters!

About to turn 66. So far the descent has been on a shallow glide path, thank goodness.

I'll be 63 next week. What the hell.

I turned 63 in July. Luckily still pill-regimen free.

Respect

See you in a year and a bit (I'm just too generationally alienated to post on the '50s thread).

In the zone of perdition where my youth forties and fifties went as if to complete its their education, one would have said that the portents of an imminent collapse of the whole edifice of civilization had made an appointment

i spent a third of my life here and along with everything else my thumb has been hurting weirdly for several months

because of nickn never seeming the slightest bit grumpy or worn out I always assumed although not a spring chicken perhaps not in the sexagenarian set just yet. sorry probably rude of me to comment but as someone in the late 40's club who feels like I'm knocking on 70 it's commendable and good!

The only people that should be posting here are 60 plus. The rest of us shoud shut the f up and post in our respective threads

xp
The thing is, I'm old enough not to take anything on social media personally.

That, and bathing in virgin's blood.

I find the subject of growing old is not one that's easy to talk about because each of us, um, seniors is doing it differently in detail, fighting to retain our health and dignity in very specific circumstances. Once you move into broader generalizations and observations, you quickly get into territory that is adequately covered in comic strips.

threads for ilxors in their 30s, 40s, and 50s are all on Site New Answers right now, so this one needs a bump too

Generational fite!

this thread is hard to search for because there are so many thread titles referring to the 1960s, a remote period of history the denizens of this thread experienced before "The Sixties" became a thing

Add "ilxors" to your search.

(a rule for life)

Mark s, how is your thumb?

After 20 years of renting and a 2020 of my job changing dramatically (zero travel! Then "retired" -> consulting), I got fixated on the possibility of buying a place. Affordable condos didn't fit the bill for various reasons. So now we are in a spacious double wide manufactured house in a 55+ small community. So far, I love it. The Facebook group is full of curtain twitchers, but I expected that. And woman who wants to start a motorcycle club. We have spotted a few neighbors from a distance. It's not a situation I expected to be in but so far, so good.

AH, but don't forget there are two spellings of that
ILX0rs
ILXORs

and sometimes ever
ILXers

Good day to you, fellow sexagenarians.

I'm not in my Sixties yet, but shouldn't this thread be called "Why am I still here?"

When my mom reached 90 she began to ask me that question, wistfully. It genuinely perplexed her.

I'm not in my 60s, but am interested in your experiences, so just wanted to add that both my Grandmother and my Oma lived past 90, and both got to about 92 before they were asking, "none of my friends are alive, this sucks, why am I here?" though obviously using different verbiage.

I meant "Why am I still on ILX?" Sorry for the confusion.

A fruitful confusion, though.

I keep having these moments of "huh, 72 is only 12 years off" - not panic or worry, just acknowledgement.

I feel that for someone who is 60 in two weeks, I'm doing pretty well, everything is working and doesn't look too careworn.

I've also had that sense that it's only a matter of time until it all goes west. Gotta do it now or thereabouts, you know?

jaq: well yes my thumb does still hurt sadly, though not as much and not much at all during ordinary daily work. i blame late-night hours of doomscrolling on a larger heavier phone but not so much that i've actually like curtailed this at all

christine: why still here? i do have friends in other internet spaces and learn stuff elswhere and find things funny elsewhere BUT i also stll have many friends here still, and also find find funny and sometime learn things here too! so that's why

good things abt being 60 and not in tiptop health: i got my first covid jab yesterday

Was I "in my thirties" when I first came to ilx?

And yet...

Happy birthday Mark G

mark s, I can sympathize due to some aching finger joints from similar (I blame phone + power bank combo).

Today, after following this project for years, I signed up: https://recompose.life/

The day before my 60th birthday, I emailed the rest of the band (effectively locked out of band practises since previous November) f they were up for getting started again. They all decided not really.

So, that was that then.

just spitballing here... instead of a being band, maybe form a team and join a bowling league? not that I would ever do such a thing myself, but I hear that some people like the camaraderie.

Well, that was kinda my sense, spent the time trying to get some decent cover versions attempted, but ended up resisting doing another Jam cover because “everyone knows it”. I’m not trying to do nostalgia, just make a decent showtime. Otherwise, wasting my time. Anyway, that was me in my fifties, so what happens now?

Anyway,can’t do bowling, I just don’t have the elbows for it. (I actually went a week ago, first time for about ten years!)

Solo performance? Improv? Gave up on bowling myself due to logistics and knee issues, but did enjoy it for a few years.

I can't speak for everyone obviously, but I and everyone I know play music because they not just want but NEED to play. I didn't play in bands in my 20s and 30s; it wasn't until I hit 40 that I started playing in public at open stage nights and put a band together as a result of that. I've been in a number of bands since that have broken up, it sucks but it's a common occurrence. I keep

...doing it because I love it, it's my main interest/hobby, and honestly it's how I define myself. I get a satisfaction I would never get from bowling etc. Keep at it!

I was in a really good band comparatively recently, but that came to a ‘natural end’ : they’d been doing the band for 8 years, I was their last singer for one.

I did see a possible channel today that might prove to be better, so cheers and thanks.

Over a month ago--forgot to punch in.

The clock and your body register the event, even if you fail to sign the register. Welcome to "Your Golden Years" (aka "when it comes time to just shoot me, I'll let y'all know, ok").

Happy belated, enjoy your new decade!

The clock and your body register the event--pretty much every morning on the latter.

The body keeps the score (says a visitor currently residing on the predecessor thread)

So life in the 55+ community is generally good but has some oh-so-strange moments. I volunteered to edit the monthly newsletter, and therefore get the inside scoop on so much petty junior high behavior and geriatric irritability. None of which makes the newsletter because I have to use 14 pt fonts so people can read it. Recently, the president of the community club sent me his monthly article which included a blurb at the end that he was resigning immediately, then texted me to say not to publish anything except that he was resigning immediately, then texted me to not publish the newsletter at all, then texted that he wasn't resigning but not to publish anything he wrote. All in the course of 2 hours. I responded "okay" to each message. It's exhausting!

That's funny--sounds like Morty Seinfeld's condo group. I get some of that as one of the moderators for my small-town Facebook group. Daily conferrals over whether this post or that post meets the group's rules--with almost every judgement call the same as the one from yesterday.

OMG I can imagine. THE DRAMA!

There's a community potluck this Saturday, and due to new county rules we all have to show proof of full vaccination to attend - which has raised the hackles of several folks WHO ARE VACCINATED! So much huffy energy. And don't get anyone started on the new water meters.

I can tell when one of my chronic joint problems is settling down when a different chronic joint problem starts calling attention to itself

Joining the club at the end of this year.

Anyone else eyeing retirement/planning an exit strategy? I'm not ready to quit working entirely, but I have no idea what else I would want to be doing. I've been at my current job WAY too long, but work from home makes it as painless as possible.

I wish I could think about retirement but I don't have a lot saved up.

When I left the lab this morning after some blood work, I was thinking about how for most of my life I attended to medical-related issues two or three times a year; now it's a couple of times a week.

I had really thought hard about retiring at 62ish because the consulting I was doing was taking a massive toll on me. But then this new opportunity came up, so now I'm planning to stop maybe at 67 (my full retirement age). I keep bringing it up with HR and my boss so they are aware and it freaks them both out a little because it seems so far off. It's not though - 4.5 years.

Congrats on having a job you enjoy! I don’t hate mine, but I’m very burned out on it. I’ve also had a number of friends my age (or younger) pass away recently, and I’m realizing retirement years are not guaranteed.

Seeing this thread title in SNA I thought maybe I should engage with it a bit. But nothing about my life at age 68 or how I got here that feels remotely explicable to anyone who isn't my wife, because she has been there every weird step (or sideways leap) along the way for the past 40 years. Trying to bring an 'outsider' up to speed would require a vast outlay of time and energy and would still only convey a fraction of it.

I find I sometimes think I should re-open Aimless! This Is Your Life! and write up what happened in the months leading up to our daughter's death, but every time I do I realize that I'm incapable of finding a way to communicate it all correctly and I dread the idea of suffering the misunderstanding that would result from capturing it imperfectly. It feels dangerous to even attempt it and that is somewhat alienating in itself. Maybe someday...

oh aimless, i'm so sorry -- i didn't know your daughter had died. or anything at all about what you and your wife have gone through.

i hope you and she are as okay as you can possibly be.

Aimless, I had never seen your story. Words fail, but sending you love.

Misguided decisions: I volunteered to work an 8 hour shift at a Home and Garden show Saturday and a 4 hour shift on Sunday. I could barely walk 6 hours in to the shift on Saturday - standing on concrete floors for all that time talking to folks was a lot for my arthritic knees/lower back. The booth across from us sold CBD pain relief stuff so I got a topical roller and hobbled off to the restroom to try it out. It was magical enough I was able to finish the shift and walk to my car relatively painfree. And Sunday was no problem. A very happy surprise.

I did go have a hearing test, and it went pretty much how I expected: I have 'perfect hearing'.

I did ask if they had a measure of hearing age (as you supposedly lose some high pitch hearing when older) but they said they don't do that. It's all about hearing normal frequency range.

Still though, that's good.

ready for the initiation ceremony

Welcome! I recommend reading 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and The Art of Dying Well: A Practical Guide to a Good End of Life. Just to kind of ease you in to the mindset y'know.

I turned 69 yesterday. I plan to wring as much pleasure as I can out of my farewell-to-my-sixties year. I'm still in good enough health that I don't fear 70, but it seems plain to me that the years from 70 to 80 are typically years of steeper decline than I've yet experienced. I guess that just comes with the territory, but I intend to keep hiking for as long as I'm physically able.

A former ilxor weighs in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXjMqU3MiwM

Momus claims he's disintegrating. Poor guy.

Happy birthday Aimless - I hope you had an enjoyable day and that the coming year (and decade) are easy on you.

Thanks, Jaq. I had a lovely day hiking in the Columbia River gorge. The sun came out and the vine maple were a dazzling yellow against the darker firs!

That sounds like a perfect day - those bright leaves against the green curtain of boughs is my favorite part of autumn in the PNW

Yep . Enjoy the rest of your birthday today

Happy birthday Aimless!

happy birthday aimless :)

my thumb (see above) still hurts: my guess is that it's become mildly arthritic -- in the 90s i dislocated it in a car accident and even since it always ached a little in the winter, now i suspect POSTING AND DOOMSCROLLING have added to the burden, esp.as the other one (unharmed in the accident) often twinges in sympathy

it's not stopping me do anything except not quietly saying "ow!" every now and then

Happy birthday Aimless!

For a couple years, I've been dealing with knee and foot pain, super annoying, enough to wake me up at night, tough to walk etc. I chalked it up to arthritis and being old and treated it with ice and Advil. This past spring though, it hit a new level of intensity in my right knee and I bought a shiny purple cane and upped the Advil to the max. I worried about overdoing the ibuprofen and switched to topical Voltaren - which completely worked after 5 days. But you're only supposed to use it for 21 days. So I stopped for a couple weeks then started it again - got a rash, but kept using it. The rash intensified into nonstop itching and blisters and I finally went to the doctor.

And - it's not arthritis. It's a hamstring thing and a couple months of physical therapy exercises sorted most of it out. Will I learn the lesson of not self-diagnosing? Time will tell.

It's too often the way, you anticipate a diagnosis of "well, what did you expect? You're doing pretty well otherwise..."

Convo with a much younger coworker (25ish) yesterday, commiserating about families that constantly tell "amusing" anecdotes from our past:

Me: you'd think they'd stop, I'm nearly 64, it's been fifty years!

CW: ugh seriously

Me: my mom doesn't have enough memory left but everybody else keeps it going

CW: whoa your mom is still alive!?!

Me: (feeling extra old) ... She's in her 80s, yeah

the thread of ATRIAL FIBBING
i have something in my eye (= posterior vitreous detachment, not getting worse but not getting better)
tinnitus (my hearing aid counteracts it somewhat)
help me find my asthma inhaler

also i have (so-far manageable) prostatitis and an itchy bruise-like patch on my right shin which is varicose-related

adding: Arthritis Commiseration Thread (my hands ache a lot and i need to talk to to a doctor abt it)

I'm asking the mods to change this thread title to "60s and beyond" b/c what are the next decades really but late 60s and even later 60s?

Hugs to you mark s - I'm debating getting a T-shirt made that says "This body is a traitor." But that seems unkind.

"60s and beyond" is fine by me. It was going to be lonesome in a 70s thread, at least for a half year or so.

I had a blemish behind my left ear a few days ago and convinced myself it was an incipient tumour. Some variation on that happens every couple of weeks.

Yes, I had one and my wife convinced me to go get it seen. The morning of the appt, I brushed it with a finger and it fell off.

(I had other things to discuss)

thank you jaq! if i'm honest i feel -- despite that list of links -- both healthy and happy at the moment: none of my ailments are currently unmanageable

PVD at my end too. Flashers/floaters for four weeks now. The printed diagnosis I was given began with three words I think i am going to see quite a bit of in the coming years: "As we age,..."

I joined this elite group of ilxors back in August.

After a couple of weeks of having recurring thoughts of the shock of being 60, everything feels like it has returned to normal. I am continuing to work full-time as I don't want to deal right now with a sudden precipitous drop in income. There's a few 60 something contemporaries at work and the common aim seems to be to keep working for a few more years in the absence of an inheritance etc. It seems incredible that only a few years ago it was commonplace for people to retire in their mid 50s.

There's an article in the Times today by journalist Cosmo Landesman on being a single 70 year old. Quite an interesting read, and gives hope for the inevitable forthcoming ilxors in their 70s thread:

My sixties were ruled by dull routines and a sense of slow genteel descent into poverty and old age. I was convinced that I was too old to party, to dance, to fall in love. Now I feel that turning 70 has rebooted my life.

Hah, I felt much the same way on exiting my fifties; turning 60 was quite the reboot. I look at FB Memories photos of my fiftysomething self and I think: Christ, who's that dull old git?

Looking forward to joining the party next month

My 50's feel like this vast numb sucky absence. I'm sure i'll remember it one day.
My 60s feel like i've managed to crawl ashore somehow

Tomorrow I cross over into the beyond-my-60s territory, as referenced in the thread title - aka my 70s. Today I had my three siblings over for brownies, ice cream and some laughter. They are all older than I am, between 71 and 75. It was the first time I've ever had a birthday party! I enjoyed it.

On the whole my health is still remarkably good. The only really noticeable change has been a certain amount of slowing down and less energy overall compared to a few years ago. I don't mind that very much. Slowing down a bit feels fine. I hope to go hiking tomorrow.

that's nice to hear, Aimless, I'm close behind you. Three of my four siblings are already in their 70s (72-77). We're all doing fine! There is some political discord in our family but we are all very private, and I'm hoping we can avoid any confrontations when we get together for Thanksgiving.

I walked 3 miles today through SF, I'm still very angry but it helped clear my head after the last few days

Happy birthday Aimless! Welcome to your fresh new decade - may you retain rude good health and enjoy every available discount.

As three third oldest poster here after Aimless and Dan S (I think), happy birthday, and see you in a couple years on that side. I've noticed some declining abilities too - back pain if I lean the wrong way, and knees when going down stairs. I saw the Big Star recreation recently, standing for over two hours, and I thought I might fall going down the stairs on the way out.

Happy birthday, Aimless, thank you for leading the way

Happy birthday Aimless! It's a lovely thought to think of you and your siblings gathering to celebrate your DOB <3

Happy Bday! 70 is the new 20 I hear :)

I heard these were supposed to be my declining years, but so far I've been doing more accepting than declining.