Change the Record, Mr Co-Worker

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Do you sometimes get irritated by ppl who say the same thing again and again in the office? Speshly when they think they're being clever or amusing?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 10:47 (twenty-three years ago)

During a snowy spell at one of my previous workplaces (yes, I have quite a few of these *sigh*) there was this guy who would always say "I'm just going outside. I may be gone some time". This went on for several days, grrr.

Then there was the person who, whenever I asked "How are you?" would ALWAYS respond, with a wide grin, "I'm all right. It's these others!"

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 10:49 (twenty-three years ago)

This guy who kept asking me How I WAS! I kept having to make the same dumb joke to get him to stop.

― MarkH'sCoWorker, Wednesday, 13 November 2002 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Ugh. Kill them.

There was this guy where I used to work who'd always say "Don't you fucking second guess me! If you want to second guess me then you can do my fucking job!" It was actually more yelling than saying. He had a pretty stressful job, but I don't think he was very good at handling the stress. (I once saw him crush a pen in his fist in frustration, releasing his grip to let the shattered pieces fall to the floor - I had to share an office with this guy!)

He was pretty nice otherwise. I just worried that one day he'd snap and beat the shit out of whoever was closest. Definately a record I'd like to see him change, or at least flip over.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I just worried that one day he'd snap and beat the shit out of whoever was closest

..hopefully, someone would go to Human Resources and complain about him before this happened!

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 11:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish my boss would stop being a twat. Does that count?

― lol p xx, Wednesday, 13 November 2002 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

It's people who crush pens who make people who order stationery want to crush THEM. To answer the q, it usually seems like my whole workplace is caught up in a circular conversation which repeats endlessly like some Dantean torture. Example: boss is always apologising for talking to herself; I'm always demurring and saying I do it too, hoho. Technicians are always complaining; I'm always defending someone. And someone, somewhere, is always making a joke about co-worker who constantly eats.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:07 (twenty-three years ago)

The guy who sits next to me says "Shtop shtop" (a la Grolsch ad) to his computer approx 40 times a day.

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:12 (twenty-three years ago)

On my god. He gets a circle of hell all to himself.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:14 (twenty-three years ago)

One of the guys opposite me always announces, "Banana!" or "Satsuma!" in a loud voice prior to eating said item of a fruit. He also likes to toss his satsumas up in the air repeatedly prior to unpeeling them. It's very disconcerting to see a piece of fruit flying upwards from behind a monitor time and time again.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:15 (twenty-three years ago)

'We're gonna need a bigger circle of hell...'

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:18 (twenty-three years ago)

One co-worker expounds his personal Film Comment throughout the day. Example - "I saw (x) again yesterday for the eighth time! It's really really good! It's just...fantastic, you should see it. It's like, so great. I can't think of anything I liked better! Every time I see it I find new fantastic things about it [continues for hours in this vein]" Then there's the mongoloid who sits next to him, "Weather's pretty bad today. I didn't even feel like coming in today, the weather's so bad. Plus I'm tired [continue for hours in this vein]" Better yet, these two carry on all day interrupting anyone else who says anything, while ignoring each other except to get into hilarious non-sequitorial arguments (non-sequitorialness aggravated by their habit of attempting to conversate while using Discmans - yes, both) Oh yeah, mongoloid #2 is the 'one who constantly eats'. Once I caught him hiding in a storeroom eating a KitKat, so of course I had to tell everybody. Bullying people for overeating is bad I guess but it creates a negative feedback cycle so efficiently that it's impossible to resist doing it!

― dave q, Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:36 (twenty-three years ago)

There is just something so fascinatingly awful about people that seem to be constantly eating, I guess. It's like watching a machine.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 12:40 (twenty-three years ago)

like watching a washing machine? or an interesting one?

i don't talk to anyone i work with :/

i guess i'm the quiet one.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I worked with a girl who I swear had some sort of eating disorder, every time you went to put anything in your mouth (as in, at lunch time) she'd shout out "are you eating again?" and then analyse how many calories/fat grams were in said item. She could also tell you every item of food you had consumed on any given day and the day before. Bizarre.

― Plinky (Plinky), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:20 (twenty-three years ago)

EVERY single time a female client or new recruit or journalist or anyone phones up or is even mentioned my co-worker says "Is she attractive?". It's your basic office sexism but it's gone so far with him it's like something Pavlovian, like he can't hear a female name without saying it, it's not even as if he's interested in the answer, indeed he doesn't expect an answer he just needs to ask the question.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Where I would get into trouble in an office environment was, as a minion, criticising lamer sexisms of middle-manager types by using office intercom to page Dr Freud when they got in my face and started. My manager thought it was hysterical, though, as did my boss hence MAFIA PROTECTION.

dumb things in offices I have worked in include:

The Woman With The Crush On Will Carling, ie. this was the accepted area one could tease her about.

The highly-strung woman in Development who purged lunch daily, then chased it with a cigarette.

The 'dominatrix' attitude of office manager, to compensate for no realworld power.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:40 (twenty-three years ago)

One of the guys opposite me always announces, "Banana!" or "Satsuma!" in a loud voice prior to eating said item of a fruit

This is brilliant! I am going to do that now. It's like some sort of video game response. (Maybe I'm thinking of Donkey Kong 64 when you get one of the gold bananas and DK goes "Ooooooooooh! ... Ba NA NA!")

Whenever anyone in our office says something is silver the response is always "Real silver?". This is merely curious, and not annoying.

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Tom, perhaps he has a similar problem to me and Johnny Greenwood and is waiting for someone to smash his cheekbones so they can resculpted?

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:42 (twenty-three years ago)

In the curious department, a really great person I worked with in my last job used to cry invariably if the film Armageddon was mentioned - you could just start describing the plot, "There's this asteroid coming towards earth, right, and Bruce Willis..." and she'd be in floods.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:46 (twenty-three years ago)

My manager always lets me know when she going to the toilet with the phrase, "I have to urinate!" I would be more amused if she occasionally followed this up with "...like a racehorse", in the manner of Kinky Friedman. She never does. I add it in my head anyway.

Others: geezer who sometimes sits next to me is ALWAYS on the phone to various gymns - he's a part-time instructor - nattering about fitness session plans and sports/leisurewear. I don't want to KNOW!!! Forgive deranged punctuation, this narks me a whole lotta lotto.

Everyone in the office including these is very nice, though, so it's pretty much a good working environment. Unlike being screamed at by a) managers and b) customers when working at Courts Furniture Customer Services for approximately a nanosecond earlier this year.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

whenever i'm at work and the world gets taken over by apes, i always go "you maniacs! you blew it all up! god damn you all to hell!" or some such nonsense.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

But surely Courts is chock full of NINGS? Courts and DFS are how I know British furniture manufacturers HATE their c2 customers. Ew ew ew ew ew .

(NB 'ning' derives from "Deliverance" theme tune, means uneducated, inbred and quite menacing or jobsworth with it).

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha Liz sold sofas! I did not know this.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:04 (twenty-three years ago)

'EVERY single time a female client or new recruit or journalist or anyone phones up or is even mentioned my co-worker says "Is she attractive?"'

I can unfortunately top that, one time some woman from the next office came by collecting for some collection and right when she was leaving the room Mongoloid #2 says to me in a really loud, sniggering voice "So...would you!? Heh heh" These are the fuckers I have to work with! I think I said, "Oh fucking grow up already", and then M#2 got really sulky and apologetic all afternoon and started mumbling along with his self-help therapy tapes, which don't work at all, if their effect on this idiot is at all indicative

― dave q, Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Why yes, Courts (esp. in Newport, South Wales - aaaargh) is indeed chockfull of nings in the worst way. Thank gdness I wasn't actually selling sofas - I'd have whispered 'run for your lives before it's too late' to all my customers and thus blown any chance of sales bonuses. It is the most horrible place to a) work and b) buy furniture EVAH! This is why I lasted 2 days.

Just goes to show that a degree in (hah) Fine Art is worth precisely nish. Bah.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Almost everyone has potentially annoyign verbals tics - most of my friends do its just I choose to spend time with them as opposed to all these people from work who I'm forced to share space with. Most of it is hardly a hanging offence - though M#2 sounds pretty shit.

― tigerclawskank, Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

-My manager always lets me know when she going to the toilet with the phrase, "I have to urinate!"-

One of my co-workers at a quantity surveying firm always used to announce loudly “I’m going for a piss out the end of me cock”

― a.p., Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Well if he was going for one out his butt that would be scary and wrong so it's good he's reassuring everyone that his urinary tract is properly routed.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

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