Unsolicited Advice

Why is it so bad and hated?

cos 90% of the time people give it, they're doing it to show off what they know and not to actually help, and usually doing it at a time where I just want moral/emotional support.

though sometimes unsolicited advice is helpful, like the time I got in a car wreck and my friend gave me tips for how to deal w/ the insurance company.

Of course very specific targeted advice can be helpful- “dial this number, ask for this guy”- but nine times out of ten it’s some kind of warmed over “let’s think out of the box” weisenheimer brainstorm stuff instead.

yup.

“Support? Emotional support? What’s that? I can only provide random suggestions like a human Magic 8 Ball or make weird grimacing listening faces like an SNL parody of a famous interviewer.”

“Well, excuse me! I was only trying to be helpful.”

usually my reply is

"thanks for the advice, it's very overwhelming and there's little I can do with it"

my mother went to her doctor and was venting a little about the caregiving and the doctor was all like "this is the time to sell your house so you can get into assisted living, you gotta be thinking about this" and mom just deadpans "we don't have a house".

I saw this thread title and thought "Aimless, here's your time to shine!!" what a disappointment it turned out to be.

People who leave their hand trailing in the water for advice just to react furiously to it are a subset ive learned to popcorn.gif

there's a dif between people who are actually asking for advice (directly or implied) vs people who are obviously just wanting to vent and already have a plan of attack, only to receive waves of advice they didn't ask for.

Right.

my fav is the unsolicited medical advice.

"go to the hospital" for a 101 degree fever = I'd be int he hospital every time I'm sick, I always seem to get fevers of that level with infection

cos 90% of the time people give it, they're doing it to show off what they know and not to actually help, and usually doing it at a time where I just want moral/emotional support.

though sometimes unsolicited advice is helpful, like the time I got in a car wreck and my friend gave me tips for how to deal w/ the insurance company.

― Feta Van Cheese (Neanderthal), Sunday, June 6, 2021 9:59 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Here's some advice: get over your need for emotional support. The latest brain research shows that it's a myth.

Ha, the thread is proving itself in spades!

IRONY

I am a perfecty functioning robot and I sneer at your folklorish wet dishrag need for emotional support! Science!

^the best lyrics Peart ever wrote

I am a perfecty functioning robot and I sneer at your folklorish wet dishrag need for emotional support! Science!

― AP Chemirocha (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, June 7, 2021 8:04 AM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Go buy yourself a book on irony pal

I thought it was called ironing

Forgot to preface with B-b-but!

Sorry, trap was baited by the Irishman.

lol Aimless.

something so menacing about the word 'unsolicited'. that's all i have to say.

“Don’t you ever tell me how to swing a driver or I’ll plant it in your balls”

kill yourself now, you may be busy later.

“Just enjoy it!”
“Break it down!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyIhEMg_zvM

“Breathe!”
“Take a walk!”

People otoh who solicit advice to show off their unique problems they are proud of, that's worse than advice of any stripe imo

Oh i said kinda similar earlier my bad

So do you not solicit advice, my friend, or do you preface it by,“my problems are not unique, I am very ‘umble, Master David”etc. to show that you are not one of those crybabies?

i for one talk to a therapist

or maybe check in with someone before i unload my problems on them.

but people who obviously think their problems are just absolutely scintillating are annoying for sure

If i solicit advice i guess i dont as a rule resent whatever comes back whether its to my taste or otherwise

Unsolicited advice tbf im with the general thread opinion on it mostly

or maybe check in with someone before i unload my problems on them.

dishing out advice when someone just wants to vent is bad, but dishing out advice when the topic at hand wasn't even raised in the first place is even worse. My mother loves doing this, bless her heart.

^this

"boy do I love this iced tea"
"well you really should consider that vasectomy IMO"

"boy do I love this iced tea"