Worst Movie Ever?

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Inspired by the _Cannonball Run_ madness that seems to be seeping into various threads.

_John Carpenter's Vampires_. Not BAD bad - those types of movies often are entertaining in their own way; they circle back around to good (but enter through the back door, perhaps). But MEDIOCRE movies are so much worse. Hence, this offering. Bad script, bad acting, bad BAD (not good) soundtrack by Mr. John "Bill Shatner is scary!" Carpenter - is it really that hard to make a decent vampire flick? Hell, Copolla made one with Keanu Reeves, and it turned out OK. (And I really don't need to hear James Woods ask a priest if he's got "cedar" in his pants. Really.)

I'd nominate _Phantom Menace_, too, but that was just a Big Waste Of Time. Not worth bitching about for too long - just give George Lucas his umpteen million dollars in liscencing & merchandise kickbacks and get the hell out of his way.

Anyone else?

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Did anyone see the second Blair Witch movie? Dear oh dear...

― DG, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This thread is impossible for me. After all, I have the Living Channel. I mean, what to pick? Seduced and Betrayed? (man seduces babysitter, kills wife, blames it on babysitter) Chasing The Dragon? (single mother turns to heroin) My Husband, My Killer? (self explanatory, really...)
Not to mention all the ones I can't remember the names of... like the one where the teenage daughter became a lesbian, and the one where the girl becomes a prostitute gang member and her father (played by William Shatner) had to go after her... or maybe the one where the husband went on the run to the underground because his wife was abusing him and his infant daughter... Oh! Oh! And then the one where the rich, society debutante girl hooks up with this sweet working class boy, and proceeds to BEAT him, and then MURDER him... and his mother (played by Patty Duke... is you have Patty Duke in a weepy womens film, you KNOW that's a mark of quality, or lack thereof) had to go and investigate his disappearance...
Oh, too many to count!
― masonic boom, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The answer is clearly Riding With Death. It's just the most fantastically bad, bad, bad film I've ever seen. I mean, death doesn't even show up for the ride, for fuck's sake.

The most unwatchable movie, though, is Dying Young. The only reason I watched it was in hopes that Julia Roberts would bite it. Not only did she live, but NO ONE died. Similar, in many ways, to Riding With Death, except without the invisibility and the violence and the 70s clothing and the inexplicable ending where they just ditch the whole riding-with-death thing and become race car drivers.

― Ally, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Patch Adams. Robin Williams thinking he's funny (which he ain't), and yet still hammily grabbing at "serious" moments that are meant to be poignant but just make you feel queasy. And what was with the love story w/the Julia Roberts lookey likey?

― Nicole, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh my god, don't get me started on Patch Adams. Me and my dad almost murdered each other over Patch Adams, he called me a bitch and I told him he was an ass and then my mom hid in the garage for hours. It was wicked.

― Ally, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Coppola's Dracula was one of the worst esp. Keanu's "Is the cahsil fahhr" accent. The Scarlet Letter too.

― Michael, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Buffalo 66.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ah yes, Patch Adams. "DON'T LET THEM ANAESTHETIZE YOU TO YOUR HUMANITY!!!!" Man oh man...

― Joe, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

All arrows point to "Hollow Man" as being the worst movie ever. But the sequel- "So Fucking Clever 2: Invisible Bitches In Heat Go Muff Mental" sounds GRATE.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No no no. Worst film EVAH: 'Human Traffic' the 'trendy, funky' yoof rave flick.

Forehead-slapping, cringe-inducing, pathetic, atrocious dialogue. I mean, just embarrassing on a massive scale... ugh, that film...

Oh yeah, Keanu in Dracula: "I know where the BARRRSTED sleeps!" Actually I find the - all round - bad acting quite enjoyable. It's a fun flick.

― DavidM, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

To my surprise, the correct answer to this is not "Tomb Radier". Angeline Jolie kicked ass in that movie (literally).

I cannot comprehend the fact that enough people went to go see "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" to warrant a sequel...

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ace Ventura = hilarious. AV2 = less so.

― mark s, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Titanic

― Geoff, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Leaving Las Vegas struck me as a pile of wannabe-noir crap. Couldn't believe it won Best Picture Oscar. It's parallel movie, the reviled Showgirls, was BETTER, at least having so-bad-it's-good quality, plus tits, and - bonus! - opening 10-minute Liz Berkeley hissy fit = worst acting and scripting ever!!!

― AP, Wednesday, 20 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Buffalo 66? Come on kids, give me some taste here. As much as I dislike the whiny wheedler Gallo, Buff 66 is a pretty good movie.

For a sit down so bad its fucking hilarious night in I recomend a double bill of End Of Days (Miriam Margolyes beats up Arnie - Arnie is Second Coming) and Stigmata (get possessed by post). For a so bad it is stupidly dull on the same theme stay well clear of Lost Souls.

Both of last years Mars movies were duds, but I think the stinkiest movie from the last three years or so has to be EnTRAPment. Trap, geddit? Even CZJ's arse doesn't help it out (and now that has unpleasant Michael Douglas connections - ugh).

Oh and to be all contentious and art-housey here I thought Beau Travail was the cine definition of the Emperor's New Clothes.

― Pete, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I nominate "Titanic". It's quite the worst movie I've ever seen on every level. I've never seen "Boxing Helena" or "Bicentennial Man" - they could be worse, their premises suggest possibly so... "Titanic", though Jeezuz, what a clunker! And so many people went for it too! A media connected friend saw an early press screening in london. He reported a boisterous crowd of journos jeering and booing (I think he was over-egging it a bit) then the reviews come in - all overwhelmingly +ve....one can only speculate as to why....

― "Isserley", Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Big Lebowski. Thanks to that, I hate all Coen Brothers films retroactively and refuse to see the George Clooney one. All Coen Bros films have the same comedy premise, the idea that people speaking in regional accents makes them automatically funny. Also, a waste of a good soundtrack, just like all of their impressed-with-itself garbage. Also, everyone thinks the John Goodman character was funny, but he reminded me a little too much of my dad.
Velvet Goldmine. I agreed with Bowie on that one.

― tarden, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oddly, I really like all of Oliver Stone's histrionic, overblown films but 'NBK' was just too much. Utter, utter sewage. Indication of the mentality of 'NBK' fans, one of them told me "But it's TRUE! The film shows you that the media causes violence, DON'T YOU SEE!?" When I disagreed, the guy punched me. I am not making this up.

― tarden, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But NBK was GRATE!!! Then again, I liked it for most of the reasons that most people disliked it. I don't think it showed that The Media was responsible for violence so much as it... hard to explain or articulate. The characters already were clearly psychotic, due to their families and their society being so deeply fucked. I saw the movie more as being "sick media and sick media fascination with violence is as much a *product* of a sick society as it is a cause." I don't think it was blaming the media - I mean, honestly, Stone is a *part* of that media, if he thought that he'd stop making films entirely. It was more like the media *mirrors* a sick society, like the characters chose that MTV-style fantasy world to express their inner turmoil.

Or maybe I read the movie all wrong cause I'm film deaf...

― masonic boom, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kate, I think a lot of what you're saying about NBK is correct. One reason why I think people react so negatively towards the movie is the gratuitous gore and violence, which kind of misses the point IMO. The movie isn't condemming violence as much as it's condemming the celebrity status we give to people who do awful things, as well as the conditions in society which help produce such horribly damaged people AND the abdication of personal responsibility in American culture.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hate a lot more films than I like, oddly. The one that springs to mind most though is the doors,,a nd just for one scene: Morrison and Manzarek meet for the first time, they both want to be in a band, Manzarek says "I've got this great hook for a son" or suchlike and starts twiddling out the famous bit from Light my fire. I vomit copiously at the intense crapness of the scene in general, in fact earlier on today I considered starting a worst move scene thread and that was going to be my example of how film making should not be done.

give me Ferris Bueller's day off any day of the week, come to think of it any teen comedy in that sort of vein.

― cabbage, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anaconda. Dubbed into German.

― Madchen, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Re: NBK - Dan says "Abdication of personal responsibility" which absolutely hits the nail on the head. The "the media made me do it!" attitude of the killers was as disgusting as the vile, gross acts that they committed. I thought this was the point of the film.

― masonic boom, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Abdication of personal responsibility was the one character trait that all of the major characters in that movie shared.

I used to be really rude to people who said the didn't like NBK because of all the violence. I'm much more mature now, mostly because my wife did explain how that is a valid criticism (paraphrase: "If you're so turned off by the fountains of blood and beheadings that you miss the points Stone is trying to make, the story has failed. It's hard to see the forest if someone's jabbing you in the eye with a stick.").

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Someone said Buffalo 66? Jesus! That film is a complete marvel. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. I thought Gallo was pretty cool in a deranged kind of way and Christina Ricci was just perfect -- especially at the dinner table scene. The ending had me stitches, too, though no-one else in the cinema seemed to get it.

― Johnathan, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The English Patient

― Stevo, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"The English Patient" has been mentioned. I must now claw out my eyes.

GAWD I hated that movie! I haven't felt that unconnected to characters in a film in YEARS. I felt a stronger connection with the butler from friggin' "Tomb Raider" than I did with anyone in "The English Naptime". It was "Gandhi" times 800, because at least Gandhi could hook you with its "retelling of history" angle had some involving scenes. All that I remember from "The English Cockfarmer" is an overabundance of beige.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Far and Away. Despite what Kris might claim, films with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in are always bad. However, this towers above their other stinking heaps of shit on the grounds of the dread pair's excruciatingly awful Irish accents alone. And that's before we take into account the ludicrous plot, crap characters and mediocre acting.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Far and Away. Despite what Kris might claim, films in which both Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise star are always bad. However, this towers above their other stinking heaps of shit on the grounds of the dread pair's excruciatingly awful Irish accents alone. And that's before we take into account the ludicrous plot, crap characters and mediocre acting.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bugger.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

in a photo-finish:

* Poison Ivy. Not the summer-camp movie w/Michael J. Fox which was GRATE but the Drew Barrymore fiasco

* Sliver. Starring Sharon Stone and one of the lesser Baldwins; rumor has it that after the last line of the movie - 'get a life' - at the premiere someone yelled 'get a movie!')

― tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A bad Drew Barrymore movie that actually rocked was "Far From Home". That was some twisted shit, yo.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Despite what Kris might claim, films in which both Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise star are always bad

Hey, at least I've never seen "Far and Away". Though I did see "Eyes Wide Shut" which may well be the worst movie ever.

― Kris, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's not exactly the worst movie ever made, but I thought Scorcese's 'Cape Fear' was a hammy pile of cack.

― Johnathan, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Only film I have ever walked out of: The Fifth Element. Unimaginably bad. Bad film in relation to its ludicrous overvaluation: The Graduate.

― stevie t, Thursday, 21 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wait, almost forgot THE CELL. Didn't walk out (should have) but nicely warned the people standing in line for tickets.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 22 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm really glad that someone hates buffalo 66. i will be forever mystified by the film's popularity with people who should know better. overstated humour and an absurd plot (why does she like him? or is that part of the cleverness?) mask a poorly executed formulaic love story.

but i think the piano may actually be the worst movie ever, though i have trouble explaining why. farinelli was, of course, atrocious but it was more incompetent than evil, which is easier to forgive.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 22 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why has no one mentioned Ken Russell yet?

― mark s, Friday, 22 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I enjoy almost every movie I see in a theatre (video is another matter entirely), but The Pillow Book, Fight Club and Shallow Grave are SO way overrated - some entertaining bits in Fight Club, actually, but the ideas/"message" are a total load of bull.

― Patrick, Friday, 22 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not quite sure what msgs yr referring to in fight club as crap - I thought it was an incredible acknowledgement of the lengths men will go to to achieve their media-influenced ideal masculinity, and how the only way they could do that was to kill their "selves" - but anyway, may I nominate one of the first Troma flicks, Igor & The Lunatics?

― Geoff, Friday, 22 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I so much want to say 'Boxing Helena', but these days I'm trying to keep strictly to my 'so bad it's good' = 'good and stop being such a ponce' so that makes BH just plain good. I believe Jennifer Lynch later claimed it was supposed to be a comedy, in fact. If you haven't seen this film, please do.

― Nick, Saturday, 23 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Haven't you people seen Kazaam?? That piece of crap starring Shaquille O'Neal as a genie. I wrote him a letter asking for my 7$ back after I saw it. I'm still waiting.

― michele, Saturday, 23 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I would have to nominate "Titanic" as well. The worst part is when the boat sinks and they're sliding down into the water and whaddya know? The lead couple miraculously hangs on and survives that. Please, die already! Only Leo has to die eventually so that Celine can sing that "her heart will go on." It was a little boys' "blow stuff up" flick in Edwardian disguise. And throwing that necklace in the water, when it could easily feed 40,000 African children for a year. Kate Winslet had some nice clothes, though.

― Kerry Keane, Saturday, 23 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Didn't actually see it, but if I were bettin' woman I'd put my money on "Cool as Ice" - yes, that would be Vanilla.

― Kim, Saturday, 23 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hm, this is why I'm sad the FT archives aren't yet up and ready...

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 23 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm with Patrick, The Pillow Book and The Fight Club are thw two worstest movies ever. And The Anniversary Party is worser.

― Otis Wheeler, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most films about the 'influence of the media on ( )' are automatically bad.

― tarden, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Little Monsters", with Fred Savage.

― Dave, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ken Russell? _Tommy_, without a doubt. Awful, awful, awful. Why pundits continue to go down & suck off this indulgent, drug-damaged, retarded piece o' crap (Ann-Margret notwithstanding) gives me ulcers.

Of course, I have a problem with _Tommy_ the album as well. Touch me? Ah, go touch this with your stupid supple wrist, you blind bastard.

― David Raposa, Sunday, 24 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Skipping 352 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I'm eight miles away from Tape Store: I'm very fond of VIEW FROM THE TOP, except the crap bits with her stodgy bf, unless we're talking about another movie.

Worst film I've ever seen = Roy Chubby Brown's UFO. But I can take that as read and still ponder other candidates beyond it like

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

THE HISTORY BOYS

MARGOT AT THE WEDDING

-- all incredibly dire.

― the pinefox, Monday, 12 January 2009 02:37 (sixteen years ago)

I nominate RIGHTEOUS KILL. Never seen it, but should win on name alone. What a turd this thing must be.

― Super Cub, Monday, 12 January 2009 04:50 (sixteen years ago)

And there are certainly a lot of worse movies out there, but RADIO deserves a nomination for being such a pandering pile of shit.

― Super Cub, Monday, 12 January 2009 04:53 (sixteen years ago)

if i remember my MTV Cribs correctly Lil Jon is a huge fan of Radio.

― thunda lightning (clotpoll), Monday, 12 January 2009 05:03 (sixteen years ago)

anyway it's hard for me to come up with movies I saw all the way through that I really couldn't stand. I had a "oh fuck this movie" reaction to boondock saints but I only saw 20 minutes of it.

― thunda lightning (clotpoll), Monday, 12 January 2009 05:07 (sixteen years ago)

One intriguing contender = FINAL DESTINATION.

"Alex and a group of high school students take a flight to Paris for a French class trip. Before they set off, Alex has a premonition of the plane bursting into flames minutes after take off. He tells everyone to get off the ill-fated aircraft. Moments later in the departure lounge the student see the plane explode before their very eyes. Now the FBI thinks that Alex had something to do with it and follows his every move. His friends start to believe he had something to do with it also and slowly fade out of his life. But now, each one of his friends is mysteriously being killed by something that appears to be the Grim Reaper. Alex starts to believe that fate is starting to taking its toll."

What this synopsis doesn't capture is the complex, Rube Goldbergian ways in which these ill-fated characters die. For instance there's one scene in a kitchen where a domino effect of collapsing fixtures & appliances leads to a big pointy knife hurtling through the air & impaling a girl. Also since the Grim Reaper isn't a person in the movie, they signify that "death" is on the scene by having this, like, blue water start seeping all around. Just ominous blue water, seepin' and seepin'.

― What a Mess (Gudrun Brangwen), Monday, 12 January 2009 05:57 (sixteen years ago)

Those Final Destination movies are great, I've only see part two and three on television but the rube goldberg deaths are wonderful.

― Big Theo, Monday, 12 January 2009 06:26 (sixteen years ago)

David Cronenberg's "Crash" was easily the worst movie I ever paid to see - and I LIKE Cronenberg! (Or should that be "liked"?) The only thing close was "Howard The Duck" (which I was more-or-less FORCED to watch, long story.)

― Myonga Vön Bontee, Monday, 12 January 2009 07:30 (sixteen years ago)

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

FINAL DESTINATION is awesome; it develops its own eerie atmosphere separate from pretty much every other teen-slasher-ish movie from that time. I need to watch again, but I'm pretty sure there's some really great filmmaking going on there...

― Someone Still Loves You Evan and Jaron (Tape Store), Monday, 12 January 2009 07:34 (sixteen years ago)

I've seen plenty of shit movies. I take back Intolerable Cruelty though, Ladykillers was worse.

don't take it back. (they both suck, but Burn after Reading sucked more especially considering all the praise and hype it got)

(liked Margot at the Wedding though)

― Ludo, Monday, 12 January 2009 09:17 (sixteen years ago)

Another vote for Human Traffic - the drug movie for people who get tipsy after half a lager top.

― the next grozart, Monday, 12 January 2009 09:40 (sixteen years ago)

Some genuinely awful films:

Best Defense (1984)
Gothika (2003)
Paycheck (2003)
Sahara (2005)
The Break-Up (2006)

― Huey in Bristol (Huey in Melbourne), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:22 (sixteen years ago)

Late Night Shopping. I thought Human Traffic was bad but LNS is a billion times worse.

― nate woolls, Monday, 12 January 2009 12:24 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0250491/quotes

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:30 (sixteen years ago)

Underdog.

― This is real, Jack (Ned Trifle II), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:35 (sixteen years ago)

final destination is pretty good, this comes from a guy who HATES modern horror movies.

― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:45 (sixteen years ago)

i still haven't seen anything to top kingdom of the spiders, but in terms of paid-to-see then gothika and down periscope are awesomely bad.

final destination was pretty good, i thought. didn't see either sequel though.

― Redknapp out (darraghmac), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:48 (sixteen years ago)

Is Down Periscope a submarine farce wannabe-Airplane! movie? When I was 9 or 10 a friend told me all about it and I wanted to see it so much I kept asking my parents if they could buy it for about a month. They didn't.

― Goodnight, Mr. Johnson. (country matters), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:50 (sixteen years ago)

frasier crane takes on the navy, how could it fail?

― Redknapp out (darraghmac), Monday, 12 January 2009 12:51 (sixteen years ago)

I only saw Coppola's "Jack" dubbed into spanish while on a train, but I was pretty sure I was witnessing true awfulness.

― WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Monday, 12 January 2009 15:44 (sixteen years ago)

Oh man, how could I have forgotten:

Larry Clark's pervorama-disguised-as-hard-hitting "Kids." Truly awful.

― thirdalternative, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:19 (sixteen years ago)

THE HISTORY BOYS

This has GOT to be some sort of sick joke! What's the complaint about this one? It was too . . . good?

― nabisco, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:23 (sixteen years ago)

"Go back and be a play, ya jerk?"

― nabisco, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:24 (sixteen years ago)

Also, National Lampoon's "Class Reunion" is quite bad.

― thirdalternative, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:27 (sixteen years ago)

David Cronenberg's "Crash" was easily the worst movie I ever paid to see
Are you sure you didn't see Paul Haggis's Crash by mistake, cause that one really is an abomination...

― Snowballing, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:28 (sixteen years ago)

Underdog.

My dog has been BEGGING me to buy this movie today on Blu-Ray or DVD. I will show him this thread.

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Monday, 12 January 2009 21:38 (sixteen years ago)

8 Mile. I gave it 20 minutes but vacuuming the carpet was more appealing.

― Hard like armour, Monday, 12 January 2009 23:53 (sixteen years ago)

paycheck sucked but it had a great car chase in the middle

― shook pwns (omar little), Monday, 12 January 2009 23:58 (sixteen years ago)

...but don't see 'Ciao! Manhattan' if you're actually expecting a good film.
― Bob Six (bobbysix), Thursday, March 4, 2004 12:36 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark

Watched it for the 1st time tonight.

Far worse than I expected.

― serious sockpuppet here (PappaWheelie V), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 05:21 (sixteen years ago)

this thread is like some sort of amazing inescapable black hole vortex for the "challops" crowd btw

― R. L. Stinebeck (John Justen), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 05:49 (sixteen years ago)

my boyfriend just saw an old bud cort movie called "son of hitler" from 1979 that is some kind of deeply shoddy failed attempt at a "day the clown cried" style holocaust comedy (holocomedy?) produced in germany that he said was perhaps the worst film he'd ever seen. And not in a "in other words, HILARIOUS" kind of way either, just bad bad bad unwatchably bad.

― Neotropical pygmy squirrel, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 06:05 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

"Doom"

― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Monday, 30 March 2009 08:43 (sixteen years ago)

caught zombie strippers on tv last friday night, excruciatingly bad. I know its low budget how hard can it be to get some jokes/dialogue in somewhere. reminded me of the dreadful troma films i used to sit through cos they were on channel 4 in the middle of the night hoping for some nudity/splatter.

― straightola, Monday, 30 March 2009 14:28 (sixteen years ago)

The Armageddon Appreciation Thread

― eman, Monday, 30 March 2009 14:31 (sixteen years ago)

i have a feeling that Lesbian Vampire Killers is this movie.

― Jarlrmai, Monday, 30 March 2009 14:44 (sixteen years ago)

Are the vampire killers lesbian or do they kill only lesbian vampires?

― Tuomas, Monday, 30 March 2009 14:45 (sixteen years ago)

A question I have also asked, however I'm not prepared to watch it to find out.

My feeling based on the poster is that the vampires are lesbians, i'm still shaky on how the killers determine the sexuality of their prey though.

― Jarlrmai, Monday, 30 March 2009 14:50 (sixteen years ago)

'The Room' by Tommy Wiseau

― Jena (who is actually a man) (Jena), Monday, 30 March 2009 17:05 (sixteen years ago)

Based on the 10 minutes I saw of the Charlie's Angels sequel this weekend, that has to be up there. I understand it was supposed to be campy, but OMFG is the movie horrible, horrible, horrible.

― legendary North American forest ape (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 30 March 2009 17:09 (sixteen years ago)

lol I love CA2 a lot because it's so ridiculously silly

― BADGES DON'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WALTZ OFF WITH A BABY (HI DERE), Monday, 30 March 2009 17:11 (sixteen years ago)

also I have had ridiculous crushes on all 4 of those actresses (including Demi) at different points of my life

― BADGES DON'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WALTZ OFF WITH A BABY (HI DERE), Monday, 30 March 2009 17:11 (sixteen years ago)

I was in the room while Mrs V watched Tube Tales yesterday jesus that was offensively bad.

― Vanessa del Rio Ferdinand (Noodle Vague), Monday, 30 March 2009 17:27 (sixteen years ago)

CA2 is terrible, but if it finds you in the mood you'd watch it because of the glitz and yeah crush actress bonanza.

special nomination for cast away. i like my amateur dramatics from the rowing neighbours two doors down, not on tv thanks.

― Anthony, I am not an Alcoholic & Drunk (darraghmac), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 11:08 (sixteen years ago)

Killing Me Softly. Just appalling. And that's despite all the Heather Graham nudity.

― Wallace Shawn poll hos (gnarly sceptre), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 14:43 (sixteen years ago)

seven months pass...

Lisztomania looks amazing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWOWLXHAUhc

― piscesx, Saturday, 7 November 2009 12:03 (sixteen years ago)

"Doom"

― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Monday, March 30, 2009 8:43 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark

― la'bloom generation (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 November 2009 12:05 (sixteen years ago)

i mean, it's based on video game to start with and even then they fuck it up.

― la'bloom generation (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 November 2009 12:09 (sixteen years ago)

Roger Ebert says, "Doom is like some kid came over and is using your computer and won't let you play."

― the passos of unbanned sock (Curt1s Stephens), Saturday, 7 November 2009 12:27 (sixteen years ago)

i have a feeling that Lesbian Vampire Killers is this movie.

― Jarlrmai, Monday, 30 March 2009 14:44 (7 months ago)

^proved right.

― DavidM, Saturday, 7 November 2009 12:32 (sixteen years ago)

five years pass...

thread is 14 years old! there must be some new contenders for the Worst Movie Ever canon.

― piscesx, Saturday, 17 January 2015 08:57 (ten years ago)

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