Surviving a Stephen King Film/show ….how?

So! You’re stuck in a Stephen King story! What items do you want to survive it? What tactics would you choose to survive?

List em here.

Love of Rock 'n' Roll music.

my trusty blue chambray workshirt

Friends with a dog.

Listen closely for any inner voices that seem to conveniently tell you just what to do, especially if you can't quite explain it but it just feels right somehow. If there are any emblems, signs, or symbols relating to turtles around, you're golden.

Cut a wide berth around any Ralph Florentines or Roger Federsons or Richie Farrs you might encounter.

Given the opportunity, move as far away as possible from New England. At a minimum, leave Maine for Vermont or Connecticut - just avoid any weary old mill towns.

Be a bitch. Sometimes it's the only thing a woman has to hold onto.

Don't open/unlock/enter the thing.

Don't live alone in a remote or isolated place.

Befriend a magical black person.

Check out of the hotel.

Don't keep pets.
Don't drive or own a car.

Befriend a magical black person.

However, do not BE the magical Black person.

Well, yeah. That magic only works one way in Kingland.

Don't have parents.

Be suspicious of strangers.

Reflect wistfully on a beloved childhood possession, the point of making it a powerful totem in your mind. If there's a particular rock and roll song that changed your life when you were fifteen, consider having its hook stuck in your head all the time, like a mantra.

Anywhere named for a town in northern ireland, you dont need to be there

If you hear disembodied voices calling to you - from a trashcan, from a sewer, in your head - be wary.

Never, ever believe this happy crappy.

Be a writer, iirc? You might have to go through some shit, but you will have a better chance of surviving the ordeal.

A writer who struggles with substance abuse?

Probably gonna be ok, possibly you're the actual problem

If you get stranded in the snow, call AAA or use your OnStar - don't accept help from house nearby.

Implore your local zoning board to reject all out-of-towners who want to open an antique shop in your town.

Wait to be rescued, don't eat your foot

stay the fuck out of the cornfield

Given the opportunity, move as far away as possible from New England. At a minimum, leave Maine for Vermont or Connecticut - just avoid any weary old mill towns.

― I honk along darkened Bobo-doors (Doctor Casino)

Ha, this was going to be my suggestion. DON'T LIVE IN MAINE.

Don't drink the bad beer

Don't bully the quiet nerd

I was going to recommend developing psychic abilities but they seem to be both a blessing and a curse in roughly equal measure.

Group sex in a sewer works iirc

only works for kids iirc