Best Gold Toilet available from Royal Toiletry

the plain ones made me laugh out loud. yes i'd like my $2k gold toilet to look normal please

The Angular Mosaic Gold Toilet is the worst eyesore, but the Luxorius Gold Throne Squat Toilet stood out as comically ill-suited to its gold-plated pretensions.

I feel like they're missing out on an opportunity by not also having gold gaskets

that squat toilet is magnificent

The funniest one to me is the one with a thin gold stripe, that’s it. Still $2k!

I like how there's a magazine on the floor next to the Luxorius Gold Squat Toilet

I actually could vibe with the Black & Gold toilet. Voted Royal Gold for the highest gaudiness level, though.

"Classic Plain Gold Toilet", just because it would be unbelievable to be able to say "yes, that's my classic plain gold toilet", knowing that it's the actual name. doesn't even need to be shared, necessarily

otherwise, i really like the Royal Gold Toilet with Diamonds Pattern, kind of looks 16-bit RPG

one dinner at Chipotle and them toilets won't be gold no more

The Oval Shaped Black And Gold Toilet looks like a prop from a spoof comedy Mummy movie; something to just be in the background in a pyramid.

here's another column for your pyramid

HNNNGGGGGHHHHH

Don't like the corners.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

the plain ones made me laugh out loud. yes i'd like my $2k gold toilet to look normal please

― ciderpress, Tuesday, February 1, 2022 1:43 PM (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

Lol yes. “Just the plain gold toilet is fine, nothing too ostentatious”

tru, tru, but the squat toilet is gonna run away with this. for when you want to poop in a hole in the floor, but luxuriously

that was my vote, although it's presumably just aimed at places where squatting to poop is the norm (I assume there are places where even the well off do that, but tbh I don't know?)

oh sure. and squatting to poop has been the proper protocol for as long as people been poopin’. i could post some helpful biomechanical diagrams but basically sitting = shit chute is kinked whereas squatting = straight out the hatch.

In grad school I took a product design course where the instructor kept coming back to toilets as like the all time ur-problem of product design, including a lengthy technical breakdown of the benefits of the squat toilet vs the sitting toilet. (So I'm sure I've seen those diagrams.) There was a bunch of bidet-oriented information in there too. He had clearly thought A LOT about every angle of the problem.

did u kno that toilets are designed to make drowning in them almost impossible!! i learned that tidbit from a murder show where some1 tried to stage a drunken suicide toilet drowning.

Luxury Toilet with an Elegant Gold Stripe might be the classiest (or least trashy w/e) imo but it costs the same as the others even though its gold to ceramic ratio is much lower, so doesn't win on value for money

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

If ya shit in this
Then ya shat in this
Cos it's all about the turd life
Word life

I assume this is aimed at places like Dubai and the oil rich Middle East where nouveau rich isn't thought to be gauche.
Seems a bit showy so non-U & shit.
Maybe appeal to the trumpite elite like.
A little too ostentatious like. Or does it always send you a message wow you're dumping on real gold that sets your endorphins racing. Which probably doesn't say something too good about one do it?

feels like a gold toilet is an expression of profound nihilistic contempt for basically everything, and for human suffering in particular. i can see the appeal. it’s like the macro version of walking past a beggar with your eyes down and then buying yourself a $5 coffee. it’s not my responsibility to destitute myself for the benefit of strangers, and why shouldn’t i have something nice once in a while? if you have a conscience you’ll at least feel bad about it; if you don’t you’ll buy a gold toilet.