Most vomit-inducing line in Disney's announcement about 'Storyliving by Disney', its new residential development venture

Haha I forgot there's a text limit on these. here you go:

As more and more fans look for new ways to make Disney a bigger part of their lives

The Walt Disney Company today announced plans to introduce Storyliving by Disney, vibrant new neighborhoods that are infused with the Company’s special brand of magic

These master-planned communities are intended to inspire residents to foster new friendships, pursue their interests and write the next exciting chapter in their lives—all while enjoying the attention to detail, unique amenities and special touches that are Disney hallmarks.

"As we prepare to enter our second century, we are developing new and exciting ways to bring the magic of Disney to people wherever they are, expanding storytelling to storyliving."

"We can’t wait to welcome residents to these beautiful and unique Disney communities where they can live their lives to the fullest."
At each location [...] Disney cast members trained in the company’s legendary guest service will operate the community association

“Disney Imagineers are exploring the richness of each local region to inspire the theme of Storyliving by Disney communities,”

“Distinctively designed indoor and outdoor spaces will offer residents new opportunities to explore, engage and create the next incredible chapter of their story.”

A voluntary club membership will offer access to a waterfront clubhouse, a club-only beach area and recreational water activities, as well as Disney programming, entertainment and activities throughout the year.

this is clearly an attempt by the disney company to infringe on my idea for a cult planned community where we all scream until we pass out, every day, forever, and they will be hearing from my lawyer. who is going to leave them voicemails that are just wordless screaming until the tape runs out. it is possible that my lawyer has already been doing this. it is possible that i am my lawyer.

and salsa shark, i have a question.

it has plagued me for years.

my future happiness depends upon your response, so please consider this carefully:

are you friends with fajita seas

I actually used to know someone that grew up in Celebration, Florida, Disney's previous planned community. Said it was great, they got to watch fireworks every night.

I was about to say -- Disney's done it already.

these are going to be nicer than most american suburbs tbh

“this puddle of vomit is superior to this puddle of sewage”

well, the puddle of vomit is not going to be zoned for half acre residential lots with no jobs or retail so it's got that going for it.

Although I rarely vomit after reading self-serving, self-congratulatory prose ejected from mega-corporation, I think I catch the general intent of the poll. I voted for:

"As more and more fans look for new ways to make Disney a bigger part of their lives"

For me this encapsulates all that is wrong with the Disney corporate cult.

my first brush with unironic disneymania in someone who should have been old enough to know better was in a college english class where this girl had written an essay on how perfect and magic and wonderful disneyworld was, and i was like (to myself, i’m not that big an ass) “you’re at least 18, why are you dickriding this soulless corporate behemoth that cynically panders to children,” and i decided that she must be mentally disabled in some way (to be perfectly clear, i am an ass). then later in the semester she wrote another essay about how when her little brother was dying the make-a-wish foundation had sent their whole family to disneyworld and all the people there had been so kind and had made her little brother’s dreams come true and i realized (a) i was *such* an ass and (b) fucking goddamn disney has weaponized dying children to forge generations of obsessive brand loyalty that i can’t mock because (c) i’m not that big of an ass even though sometimes i which i were.

I took one of my kids to Harry Potter world some years back, and when we got back to Chicago, about to hail a ride, friends of ours were hopping in a stretch limo and offered us a ride. Their daughter had just been cleared of leukemia, but Make-a-Wish/Disney et al. made good on hosting them down in Orlando. I guess there is a huge private 84 acre campus/compound at Disney World for sick kids (maybe more than kids?) and their families to spend time together completely on the company's dime.

https://www.gktw.org/help/bio/disney.php

Is Disney World ruined by wokeness? This article is getting roasted on social media

https://www.deseret.com/entertainment/2021/4/24/22399241/disney-world-ruined-wokeness-column-reaction

https://funvizeo.com/meme/bait-kali-vibrant-display-of-a-thousand-baits-meme-7ec6a4117fc86f9b

Said it was great, they got to watch fireworks every night.

There are fuckers letting them off pretty much every night near where I live. Trust me, it palls.

I’m at Universal with the kids and it’s giving me my first full strength dose of infantalized adults in some years.

I’m at Universal with the kids and it’s giving me my first full strength dose of infantalized adults in some years.

Universal nearly killed me.

Universal really underscores all the things Disney does right. (Harry Potter aside.)

whenever new disney stuff like this comes along i always think of this little book i read in the 90s (after being intrigued based on it being mentioned on the don imus show--LOL i know i know!): Team Rodent by Carl Hiaasen.

a slim tome that really let em have it (if memory serves), and i loved it. these new communities seem like updates on the shit they've been doing for a long time, right? see: Celebration, Fla.; Country Walk, Fla.; etc.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Team_Rodent

voting "As we prepare to enter...." because it's where they drop the "from storytelling to storyliving" concept

Universal really underscores all the things Disney does right. (Harry Potter aside.)

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, February 23, 2022 9:58 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah it mostly sucks. The Harry Potter stuff is really well done but there’s not really enough to “experience” once you’ve walked around - most of the hogsmeade and diagon alley storefronts are just t shirt and trinket shops and there are only a few rides (even fewer for a small kid). The universal “resort” experience is decent enough and it’s mostly more fun to just laze around the pool, take the water taxis, walk along the fake “lagoon” etc.

Undoubtedly if Universal planned a community it would be far worse than a Disney community - you’d probably have to pay every time you used the dog park and it would be 3x too crowded.

I miss the smell of turkey legs in the Florida summer heat.

these new communities seem like updates on the shit they've been doing for a long time, right? see: Celebration, Fla.; Country Walk, Fla.; etc.

are you friends with fajita seas

Been meaning to watch this

https://www.thewrap.com/disney-fastpass-youtube-documentary/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yjZpBq1XBE

Via this iirc

You're not gonna believe me when I tell you this, but everyone who is interested in public policy needs to immediately watch this 100 minute-long Youtube documentary on long lines at Disney World. https://t.co/0F3TPCLYWo

— Michael Tae Sweeney (@mtsw) January 17, 2022

I heard somewhere that Walt Disney wanted people to actually move into Epcot Center and live in splendid mid-century utopia, but the company nixed that idea upon his death

in disney community u need fastpass to use community toilet

Andy - yes, that is true. EPCOT stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.

After Walt Disney's death, Walt Disney Productions decided that it did not want to be in the business of running a city without Walt's guidance. The model community of Celebration, Florida has been mentioned as a realization of Disney's original vision, but Celebration is based on concepts of new urbanism which is radically different from Disney's modernist and futurist visions.

Seems like they're now perfectly content to do all kinds of shady shit without "walt's guidance"

lmao Celebration isn't Walt's fucking vision or even close

unless this was his vision:

In 2016, The Wall Street Journal reported that Celebration Town Center condominium owners "are battling leaky roofs, balconies that have become separated from the sides of buildings and mold spreading in their walls. Their properties have become so dilapidated, they say, they're having trouble selling them."

I had one friend who used to live there, her condo was alright. problem is traffic pools BADLY around that area on the highway so if anybody in Celebration has friends in Orlando, Winter Park, or anywhere else more Easterly, they'll be sitting in traffic fora while and battling long commutes.

"As we prepare to enter our second century..." is some ominous shit. Really staring down the barrel of Disney's gun.

xpost in fairness (lol fuck that), though, Disney hasn't owned Celebration in almost 20 years either.

Disney cast members trained in the company’s legendary guest service will operate the community

translation: Minnie Mouse will be coming into repair the drywall and bathroom fixtures after your March Madness rager

Goofy, plunge my toilet dickhole

I'm so sure they won't do this with their new communities

https://www.thedailybeast.com/celebration-florida-how-disneys-community-of-tomorrow-became-a-total-nightmare

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

that youtube fastpass video is among the best documentaries i saw this year

for real - I'm in the middle of it now, absolutely mesmerizing

Sounds good. I am intrigued, even though (because?) I never went and dealt with any of that.

i didn't read the article. is this likely to solve the US housing crisis?

Yes. The guests with omicron breathe on everyone else, accelerating their deaths. Fewer people to buy houses!

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/03/opinion/florida-the-villages.html
http://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/03/03/opinion/03cottle-EDIT-4/merlin_202708428_5109d1d8-064e-446f-a5d2-aac63b219d85-superJumbo.jpg

Dancing is very big in the Villages. Line dancing, two-stepping, twisting, awkward head-bopping — the moment the music starts, Villagers go at it with abandon. Here is a place where the over-55 set can cut loose, flaunting their Jagger-esque moves without being judged by younger, more limber folks.

“I came to party!” a snowbird named Jim quips to me at City Fire. (Yes. I spent a lot of time there, and I highly recommend karaoke night.) Having raised four daughters back home in Pennsylvania, Jim spends his winters here, enjoying the fruits of his labor. He was not the only Villager to express this sentiment. These people have made their contribution to society and now intend to have themselves some fun.

The enclave has been called Disney for retirees. The comparison is apt, not only because of the nonstop amusements. Its entire aesthetic is too studied and precious to feel like the real world. The three quaint town squares and main retail areas were developed around themes: Spanish Springs, Lake Sumter Landing and Brownwood Paddock. The streets and public areas are spotless and beautifully landscaped. And everywhere you look, there are golf carts.

Early one evening, I settle in near the Sumter Landing bandstand to watch the Hooligans, a local favorite that plays all the classics — Pink Floyd, the Clash, the Police, Rod Stewart. At one point, a trim, relatively young woman sporting short dark hair and a golf visor wanders over to ask if I’m the band’s agent, noting that I look very official sitting there with my notebook. After quizzing me about who I work for and what I’m working on, she introduces herself succinctly: “Brenda. Strong conservative and strong Christian.” She and her husband are snowbirds visiting from Minnesota, spending their second winter in the Villages. They love it here. Except … Brenda has noticed a distinct lack of diversity, and she’s not entirely sure if that’s an OK thing. On the other hand, she adds, “it feels safe,” because “anyone here who doesn’t belong stands out.”

another fucking artist on these people

the NY Times can't help it. I've read this article, like, 18 times since 2018.

*article

the article is less engaging than the pictures, which they have down to a science as well

I watched that epic Fastpass video. Pretty interesting! Pretty long!

Alfred, I'm curious if you watched that Villages doc from a year or two ago, and whether you think it rises above this trend. My partner and I found it quite absorbing and almost meditative, but we were also going through the process of saying goodbye to a beloved pet, so we might have been softened up a bit.

I thought that documentary was great, almost David Lynch like. Not a coincidence that Darren Aronofsky was a producer, I think.