Hollyoaks Deaths: Search and Destroy

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Two more to add to the pile.

Theo = killed by a small amount of mud falling on him????
[other guy whose name I don't know] = ouch, crunch, etc

― Graham (graham), Monday, 18 November 2002 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we were meant to assume Theo had sustained massive revolting internal injuries as a result of being in the back of a van which rolled over. Poor Theo, he was clearly a goner, he never had any good story lines.

Dawn's death in Jambo's arms in a boat. At Xmas. Sniff. All the more tragic as she ended up in Alpen ads. And didn't Evil Rob have quite a dramatic death?

― Emma, Monday, 18 November 2002 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

He had two deaths, if you bought the special trip to France video which I so hope you did Emma.

― Graham (graham), Monday, 18 November 2002 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Er, no. I am not much of a one for videos (except Bad Girls obv). Lewis's death was pretty grim in a 'HEY KIDS! Don't top yourselves' kinda way. Though he is love rat Dr Gary on Brookside now so has done better than poor Dawn.

― Emma, Monday, 18 November 2002 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Hollyoaks have the biggest bodycount of any Brit soap?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 18 November 2002 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

How many people popped their clogs in the Emmerdale plane crash, lorry crash/bus stop (?) disasters, etc.?

― Mooro (Mooro), Monday, 18 November 2002 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw some thing once about the average life expectancy in soapland, cannot remember the details but I think Brookside was the worst with an average LE of about 40 something years. ha ha.

― Emma, Monday, 18 November 2002 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

That Natasha very early on in the program. Was that her name? Wasn't it some Leah Betts kind of storyline? I remember because she had Suede posters in her bedroom, so I identified, like.

― alix (alix), Monday, 18 November 2002 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hold on, did I imagine all that?

― alix (alix), Monday, 18 November 2002 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I realy want to say, yes you did. But I think it did happen, sadly.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 18 November 2002 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh.

― alix (alix), Monday, 18 November 2002 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

That dude in the late nite version, what was his name? The whole series was his demise, oh yeah Lewis. It was almost Shakespeare-esque.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 18 November 2002 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd imagine the oldest character in Hollyoaks is Gordon Cunningham. Is the whole programme a guide to what is needed to ensure longevity? Get a beard and a shop - you'll be fine.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

Hollyoaks set for biggest ever soap disaster

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

This makes me very happy.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay! Chester get nuked by Osama bib-Laden. I think we can all sign up to that one.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

ACNGIT!!!!!!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

But Izzy. My poor lovely Izzy...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

So we're left with the Deans, Mandy, Max, OB and Alvin Stardust behind the bar.

Corking.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

They all have to forge a new civilisation in a post apocalyptic chester. OB falls over.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

B-b-but they're still not getting rid of Tony Hutchinson & Mandy Richards. Surely this is madness!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Actor playing Tony has signed secret pact with devil obv.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

how is Jack the ex-copper landlord Alvin Stardust?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahhh, so that's what the scar on his forehead is!
x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

they're still not getting rid of Tony Hutchinson & Mandy Richards

*someone* has to look after little Tom Cunningham. They could hardly have him abandoned on a hillside to be suckled by a she-wolf.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Gunting Tony Hutchinson, g#nting bl00dy TONY with his HAIR and his APRONS, like a less interesting Ian Beale, how I wish the scurvy paltroon would have bleached his hair when Toby was still on the loose and been GOT by the SERIAL KILLER who mistook him for a GURL, OOH I HATE HIM.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Looking back now, how wrong was Mark H?

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

ooh maybe they could plan a soap crossover & tony & ian could both die in excrutiation agony at the hand of one of the cast members to be axed!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

does Hollyoaks hold the record for plot slowness? You can tune in one day and hear:

Lisa: if you stopped lying you could save Dan!

Ellie: Dan KILLED my husband!

and tune in three weeks later and they're having the same conversation! grr.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe serial killer Toby and Evil Rob Hawthorn could come back from the grave and engage in a killing spree

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Like Shaun of the Dead in Hollyoaks!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

There MUST be zombies. It is the only way!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to see helen as a zombie. Maybe she could kick tony's skinny white ass!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes yes! Pinkp is a genius, zombie Helen comes back and kills Tony so they can stroll off into the zombie sunset, Mandy is so distraught she tops herself...

― smee (smee), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yes, please say that will happen!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

All the soaps should have a zombie storylines simultaneously. You could have a Zombie Dr Legg in Eastenders who could eat Ian Beales face. Even Drama/soaps should do it like Bad Girls: Zombie Atkins (would she look any different) chasing down Fenner. All of the Jobbing actors that have been on casualty could feast on Charlie.

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Dave you really do watch too much tv! Bad Girls indeed!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Zombie Neighbours, zombie Bouncer could come back, with Zombie Helen Daniels and that parrot that was around for a while, have a killing fest then slope of to the Bungle Bungles

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not actually a big fan of Bad Girls (the tv program real ones is a whole different fish kettle) but I have to watch it cos the missus like it.

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank god, Matt got our TV fixed just in time for Hollyoaks massacre!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely L is in bed by that time Dave?!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

On a previous Eastenders thread someone actually thought up a zombie scene... I can't find it in the archives though.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

FIND IT

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't wait to see this, it should be funny. Will it be a "latenight special"? erm.......ahem.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 22 April 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

I miss Jude.

― holojames (holojames), Friday, 7 May 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't remember Jude - I remember the name, but not what she looked like or anything. Was she the druggie?

So when is this all going to happen? I'm getting impatient....I wonder what the disaster will be?

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 16 May 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Last Sunday the decider in our pub quiz was to name all thirteen birds on this year's Hollyoaks calendar. This was evidently the worst pub quiz ever (for people who don't watch Hollyoaks) and ruined our unbeaten run which had stretched back to March.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 16 May 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

which month is the bumper month with two birds then???

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 16 May 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

presumably those twins are on it!

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 16 May 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, not having the calendar, I have no idea which month, but I am led to believe that yes, twins are involved.

Having never watched a full episode of Hollyoaks in my life, we got four of them (Izzy, Zara, Chloe - a random guess that one of them would be called Abby seemed also to have paid off)

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 16 May 2004 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Whereas i shudder to think how many hours of my life I've wasted watching it. I generally use the "I'm just in from work, I'm knackered, best watch something undemanding" excuse!

can't remember the twins' names, so i shall say The Twins, Abby, Zara, Izzy, Mandy, Becca, posh bird with mafia connections who lives with Nick & Kristian, Lisa, Ellie, Debbie, Steph, Chloe.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 16 May 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

We could really have done with you in the pub last Sunday :)

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 16 May 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I was at a pub quiz in Oxford then funnily enough! Winning some money :)

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 16 May 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

B-b-but they're still not getting rid of Tony Hutchinson & Mandy Richards. Surely this is madness!

Mandy seems to have got rid of herself ie gone off and not told anyone where she was going after getting biffed (as opposed to boffed) by Tony.

Natalie is my favourite.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 5 August 2004 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG she is infuriating!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 5 August 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

poor cameron.

― cºzen (Cozen), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Wha'appened?

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

End of an era tonight. Mel and Sophie dead, not to mention Joe and other annoying student twats. At least it means the end of the everlasting alcoholism storyline. But that bitch who used to play Nigel's daughter in Eastenders gets away with it. I hope OB is ok, I love OB.

― sixteenblue (sixteenblue19), Friday, 8 September 2006 22:32 (nineteen years ago)

Hollyoaks has really gone to shit in the last few months. I mean obviously it's always been crap but it's hit a new low.

So boring, they really did need to kill off interminably boring Mel and Sophie, but the malaise is pretty deep. They've introduced character after character and never found good stories for them and now are left with all these twats.

When are they going to kill Darren off, he is a royal twat plus his voice is annoying.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 10 September 2006 21:15 (nineteen years ago)

I think its days are numbered.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 16 September 2006 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

Having said that, I am not quite sure when it jumped the shark. I think that there is maybe too much concentration on the schoolkids these days.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 16 September 2006 13:17 (eighteen years ago)

six years pass...

Maddy getting severed in two by a flaming car door flying through the air must be right up there. Even more satisfying than watching Reece bleed to death in a tuxedo.

― comedy is unnatural and abhorrent (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 16 November 2012 11:24 (twelve years ago)

And there always was major focus on the kids, it's just that we've got older. It's been a total heap of melodrammatic shit since day one.

― comedy is unnatural and abhorrent (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 16 November 2012 11:25 (twelve years ago)

the many very very long articles on hollyoaks characters feature some of the worst writing on wikipedia. breathless illiteracy as far as the eye can see. a while back i had fun going through them and realising quite how many hollyoaks characters have died - the young people of hollyoaks would have a safer time if they took to the trenches.

― fun facts about human waste (Merdeyeux), Friday, 16 November 2012 16:08 (twelve years ago)

I thought Sarah Barnes' failed skydive was one of the best TV deaths I've ever seen. Credit where it's due too - they can keep character deaths secret pretty well, I had no idea that Lynsey or Riley were getting killed off until it happened onscreen, and how often can you say that about a plot development in a major popular TV series?

― boxedjoy, Friday, 16 November 2012 19:08 (twelve years ago)

eleven months pass...

They are really laying it on thick with these just now.

― boxedjoy, Monday, 21 October 2013 22:43 (eleven years ago)

what's been happening? i think the last time i saw hollyoaks a bus exploded and a piece of it landed on someone's head. or something like that. or maybe i was watching final destination. v similar fatality rates.

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 21 October 2013 23:03 (eleven years ago)

Evil Claire came back with a bomb to blow up Mercedes and her family in an act of unexplainable revenge. However Sinead took the bomb to a house party thinking it was a bag of money (!) and it exploded, destroying a block of flats. Occasional drug-dealer and surprise homosexual Doug died instantly in the blast and Ste has been upset. Pretend wheelchair user Will was about to murder his girlfriend Ash who figured out he had already killed his mother and ex when the building exploded so he got away with it, despite his brother Dodger hearing everything as the blast has resulted in his amnesia (of course). Wedding-obsessed caricature Leanne developed a bleed in the brain and have a deathbed ceremony which was actually quite touching despite barely being a character. Claire was fighting Mercedes in the street and was struck down dead by returning serial killer Dr Browning, who was then battered with a shovel by Cindy and offed by Mercedes, with NuLynsey helping them to cover up the crime in a way similar to Dirty Den's death in the noughties.

According to the TV guide mags, next week sees a hostage situation with both Will and Sienna toting guns at various family members, while Hollyoaks Later saw teenage pouter Callum impaled on a stick by crazed Jade who was obsessed with Esther's donated liver (!) but thankfully Jade herself was murdered. It is enjoyable in a trashy, OTT, Sunset Beach way, but it seems to be abandoning any sense of realism.

― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:30 (eleven years ago)

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