fuck this site forever

so after today's fiasco I went onto slack and was kind of surprised at the robust discussions there, since I'd only been there once. and then I saw I came up in discussion.

so I searched for my name, against my better judgement, and....well, glad to see what you all really think of me and are too chicken shit to say here.

burn in fucking hell. you are a bunch of toxic gossiping pieces of shit. other than a handful of you.

if your goal was to make me feel like a useless piece of shit

...congrats, you succeeded

"I think it's worth noting some people want advice and help, and some people just want ears to listen to them dump whatever is in their head. When you're trying to offer the former and they're only partaking for the latter it is exhausting to be around. And I say this as someone who indulges very frequently in pointless functionless complaining.
Like I dont believe Neanderthal actually wants to change their life and improve it because that would be scary and difficult and involve painful conversations, but also their unhappiness is something that cannot be contained internally."

boxedjoy - eat my fucking dick

justine, however, is a sweetheart and none of this applies to her

also deems, you are a cunt

what the shit, that is fucked up

I'd take ballers over hoopers any day

ahh shit, wrong thread

@ Neanderthal I am sorry you had to read that. That sucks. a. I think that when people are typing gossip it is often typed with a far lighter, less nasty tone than what is inferred by its target. b. I believe that the medium creates the toxic dynamic, not the participants

so after today's fiasco

*goes to SNA, ctrl+f's "clus", no results*

how many secret borads deep are we now

I can't run the Slack app on my phone.

I also never got the feeling that N just wanted to wallow in his misfortune and never get out. That's ridiculous.

xp sic - guessing this has to do with the locking of FP thread?

I also never got the feeling that N just wanted to wallow in his misfortune and never get out. That's ridiculous. otm The only relevant thread that I see Ne on is Ageing Parents, where he's responsive to advice and in several instances has already done what I was going to suggest, judging by his updates. He's learning, while still struggling, as anybody would in such a situation, but not wallowing. Keep On Truckin Neanderthal.

sometimes tough love is good, fucking grow a pair dude

PS I donated to yr fundraiser, regardless of what you think of me or the nasty ILXmails you sent (which were just as toxic as any offboard discussion btw)

PPS fgti otm

guessing some of the feeling is in re the co-workers thread and working from home where you do vent a lot, and posters have suggested stuff related to your work and how it seems to really aggravate you as you do regularly post about it. idk ... people have had offboard conversations about ilx and ilxors for as long as I've been here (which ya, has only been 13 years) ... it really comes down to, how much do you really want to know what people say about you or think about you?

Neando, I have never been on the slack because I have enough material to help me fall asleep on the board. I've always admired your devotion to family and friends. Whatever you found on slack, I've been inspired by you when considering my own real life behavior and treatment of others. You've been a haloed nuisance angel on my shoulder at times, which can be confusing because you also wear a cutoff shirt with satan on it in my mind. Who gives a shit what Very Internet People say in The Deepest Internet? Leave this board if it helps, but the ole Slack Pack won't have the final word -- you're great, dude!

Hey I’m just a young poster on the fringes but hope it’s beneficial to say I have your name filed in my “good posters who is likeable and whose opinions I will give greater weight too”. Sorry mate, drama sucks

cosign

yup
fwiw I think making judgements of someone you “know” via their posting online is both stupid and offensive. For all you know they may post to vent those things away from real life contexts where they would be harmful.
Neanderthal you’re a funny fucking guy with good taste who by all appearances has gone through about as difficult a stretch as many of us would ever face, I wish you well and keep posting whatever the fuck you like.

Kinda forget that the whole high school drama bullshit goes on off board as I got a peak at it years ago and ran away screaming at the horror
Neanderthal don't take that shit seriously, the ppl knocking you are in no position to pass judgment on anyone, trust me

that is true.

it was shitty stuff from me and im sorry about it and its not at all a full picture of what i think of all youve been dealing with neanderthal and while i dont defend it i wanted you to at least know that, my shit reaction to petty stuff like ilx posting styles that irk me is small beans vs real problems ppl are facing and i wish you much better than i have given you reason to think.

Neanderthal you’re a funny fucking guy with good taste who by all appearances has gone through about as difficult a stretch as many of us would ever face, I wish you well and keep posting whatever the fuck you like.

Also if Neanderthal goes what happens to the ILX derby? It'll be wall to wall Spurs :(

sometimes tough love is good, fucking grow a pair dude

Wow, how super disgusting. FPed.

Neando, don't go. I like you and this place would be poorer without you. I agree that the needless ad hom bullshit is getting a little out of control lately but trust that, as with most needless ad hom bullshit, it's coming from people whose opinions you can safely ignore.

I literally have no idea what Slack is (like, no idea; is it a message board?), but I know of Neanderthal, so ... advantage Neanderthal?

idk ... people have had offboard conversations about ilx and ilxors for as long as I've been here (which ya, has only been 13 years) ... it really comes down to, how much do you really want to know what people say about you or think about you?

― sarahell, Sunday, 13 March 2022 bookmarkflaglink

I think this is otm. It's a thread within Slack and it's just another format of something that has been going on in forever. And it's just natural, as a thing.

xpost I'm pretty sure it's only accessible via Apple OS and so exclusionary by nature on that level if no other (and like Christine, I have an iPhone but it's too old to download the app).

And just ftr I don't really care about that aspect, just stating facts. And just ftr I just assume that if people are talking about me at all that they're talking shit about me and then if I discover otherwise it's a pleasant surprise.

So wait, people post here, but then there's another shadow ILX (or two? or three?) where many of the same people gather to post? Often about ILX stuff? That's so weird.

sometimes tough love is good, fucking grow a pair dude

this isn't a joke? wtf

"I'm pretty sure it's only accessible via Apple OS"

Not true btw

Posting since 09 and have no idea what the slack is, it’s a room using the program slack? I have never figured out any ilx adjacent thing outside of ilx-in-a-browser because social media sucks and most of those venues are even more so high school cafeteria than here. I could never understand the obsession with “posting styles” or keep track of anyone here. People get so wrapped up in that stuff. When people get to stay at arms length on the internet but become invested in the personalities of other usernames, that combination just so easily results in misery and nastiness.

So wait, people post here, but then there's another shadow ILX (or two? or three?) where many of the same people gather to post? Often about ILX stuff? That's so weird.

it’s not “mostly about ilx stuff,” not even close

Why would people talk about other people? Have you met people?

The last time Neanderthal made a thread like this, he did so after sleeve and I made some mild jokes about his repetitive posting. He made a thread, loads of people queued up then, as now, to heap scorn on the offenders, and both sleeve and I received an incredibly unpleasant message that for me, at least, came while my mother was in the hospital and took my breath away with its unpleasantness. But you know, I reckoned he was in a bad place and to leave well enough alone, so I didn’t post it in the thread.

I wish I had, because complaining that the same people who find him annoying on ilx do so off ilx is the same shit in a different medium, but sending someone a dm invisible to everyone but the recipient is some real under the table nonsense and it’s very rich coming from him indeed.

I also agree with the sentiment that “who cares about these people’s opinions”, because really, why would you? Someone thinks I’m annoying, so what, so do I. Now, the thing where ilx really gets toxic is when you have ongoing stuff like the continuing exodus of female posters (not a priority for most people, it seems), where you might get resentful is stuff like Aimless mocking me after I’d spoken about my mental health in the covid thread and the wildly different standards applied to behaviour because of those doing it, not the behaviour itself. I question whether anyone is happier about any of this, and if we’re ever going to examine the motive of anyone who’s decided to carry on about this for weeks and weeks. Is ilx a place where a female poster needs to deal with someone with a grievance against her posting coded and not-so-coded stuff against her for weeks? Apparently so. People disagree, people fight, that’s life, but don’t tell me that that’s acceptable for me to have to put up with.

The other thing I want to say is that I think that boxedjoy post is made with great thought and he is speaking from a similar place, as he says. If you guys think that continuing to comfort someone who’s in a hole and never asking them questions about why or what can be done to change the situation is abusive, well, I’d be dead, frankly, if I’d taken that approach to myself. People think “oh wow that’s so mean,” but to me it’s cruel to enable someone at their worst point. But again, like all opinions, that’s subjective. I would also note that Neando didn’t much care about boxedjoy’s feelings when he told everyone exactly how to find the abuse directed at boxedjoy by his stalker, so again, do not apply standards to others that you only do to yourself.

I’m sure this thread will continue to roll for another week or so, but tl;dr most of you are good people and thinking you are annoying isn’t a crime, has ilx actually got any mods, and I don’t really want to come back to this thread much if any to day as my husband has covid and it is, frankly, more than I need to think about right now.

All of this is very unfortunate

Before really examining this, my expectation was that it’d be some 10,000-post thread from 2009 or something that started serious but eventually became in joke heavy and goofy - but of course, I was presumptuous of me

N - please don’t leave. We need you around here.

though I'm barely here and don't think i should have much standing to say so... same impression here.

i read the Work From Home thread it's fine. i don't think anyone's venting gets in the way of anyone else's. sometimes discussion breaks out.

i think sleeve’s response here objectively sucks and everyone could stand to think about what they’re posting

Neanderthal, you shouldn’t care about the opinions of others, it should never affect you, it’s part of the board’s life. Except if it’s Aimless making fun of you, then it is serious, and also here’s a whole bunch of negative things about you I gotta add. Anyway gotta go back on the slack and some mod threads to defend my buddy calling everyone a cunt and wonder why female participation is at an all time low!

like if that is the guy you are commiserating with about someone else’s reactive posting… them who are without sin etc.

Weird that said buddy is a lot more popular with female posters than you’ll ever be, chief. Anyway, entirely good faith posting from someone who’s never happy unless he’s harassing women on ilx afaict, this of course is all very acceptable 🤗🤗🤗

is there a “tough love, grow a pair: c/d” thread bc i would like to register: dud