Rock Paper Scissors Shoot!

If there had to be a champion, why not him?

His real name can't be Pete Lovering!

That's hardly the worst we've seen around these parts, cowboy.

ROCK!

Haha! Now you know what we do for fun up here. Not too many other news stories these days feel the need to describe the subjects as "grownups".

Sarah: scissors!

Damn.

yes, but it's a short step from there to here. Fancy coming home all chipper, knowing that you've won $1200 in a Rock Paper Scissors competition, reading that there's this ace new de-icer available and then getting to the end of the article only to discover....

Well, thanks a lot guys. Don't sell it here where we really need it.....

i wonder how our champion would fare at cowboy, bear, ninja?

USA Rock Paper Scissors League Launches With Bud Light and A&E

ST. LOUIS, Jan. 18 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Bud Light, the world's best-selling light beer, announced today that it would host a nationwide tournament with the USARPS League to find the best Rock Paper Scissors player in the country. Beginning this month in bars across the U.S., competitors 21 and older will have the opportunity to play the sport in a classic tournament ladder structure. In April, 250 finalists and their guests will be flown to Las Vegas to compete for a grand prize of $50,000 at The House of Blues in the Mandalay Bay Hotel.

This announcement came at the same time co-commissioners Matti Leshem and Andrew Golder announced the formation of The USA Rock Paper Scissors League ( http://www.usarps.com/ ). Although the game has existed since before recorded history, and has been played by such greats as General Rochambeau (for who the game is named in certain circles), it is only now that an American League has been formed to bring rules and structure to the previous chaos that dominated the sport in the U.S.

"We're very excited to host the first USARPS tournament and name the first champion at a fun event in Las Vegas, where adults from across the country who have won tournaments in their hometowns can compete to determine the ultimate champion," said Dan Sprague, product manager, Bud Light, Anheuser-Busch, Inc.

"We are extremely lucky to have Bud Light as a partner," said Leshem. "For too long, adults who gather in clubs looking for competition have had only pool or darts to challenge them. Finally, there's a true sport where talent can be showcased."

A&E Network has signed on to be the official media partner of the USARPS League. The network announced that they would cover the finals in a one-hour special to air after the live event.

"We are proud to be the network of choice for this historic sporting event," said Nancy Dubuc, senior vice president of non-fiction & alternative programming at A&E Network. "It's a quirky, humorous way to bring to television a sport everyone can play -- where strength and agility take a backseat to strategy and skill."

Life imitating could-be Onion headlines.