yes um hello where is the thread for complaining abt neighbors bcuz mine SLASHED MY FUCKING TIRES

and he keyed my car, wtffffwtfwtfwtf

this dick. jesus. what the hell.

not that i have proof it was him hey maybe it’s just a crazy fucking coincidence that he sent us psycho texts tuesday night and wednesday 2 of my tires were slashed, and he sent us psycho texts a month ago and the next day my car was keyed, asssssssssssshooooooooooooole

this is the all-purpose thread for complaining abt neighbors: The trouble with neighbours

but it seems like this story maybe deserves its own thread

and 2 weeks ago this fucker had the temerity to call the flipping cops on us (!) at 1:30 in the goddamn morning (!) to tell us to stop running heavy machinery in our apartment (!!!????🤯)

tank u mark <3

and yes why not, this prolapsed anus gets his own thread for posterity to immortalize his shitness

um this is scary, wtf.

obviously important to call the cops, proof or not, and share what you know, but fuck - i'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

cops: “call us when he kills you” pretty much (p.s. Neanderthal!!! nice to see u back, yr cool)

i’d even been feeling bad for him! “aw poor guy, tormented by hallucinations and delusions, it must be so awful to believe the innocuous buddhist nerds next door are secretly persecuting and gaslighting you, we’ll just be reasonable and supportive and try to find ways to get him help” while this absolute chud, this chode, this toad has VANDALIZED MY CAR

“boo hoo i don’t have any friends here, boo hoo everyone’s against me” christ on a biscuit

all cordial to me in the hall, knowing what he’s done while i was giving his crazy spiteful ass the benefit of the doubt

me all creeping around my apartment at night, trying so hard not to make any noise that could disturb this delicate turdblossom’s beauty sleep, fuck

oh cool had to cancel the doctor’s appt, couldn’t drop off the necessary forms for my guy’s new job, couldn’t pick up the cat’s feeding tube, can’t make it to the food bank this week, had to call the insurance company and the towing service and the tire place, oh sweet we get to file a police report hooray these are all my favorite things ON OPPOSITE DAY

i am so mad

your son’s cd was crap

your grandchild is ugly

fuck every speck of you forever, no wonder every rehab in the city has washed its hands of you

and last night, you boozed out sack of idiot, banging on our door hollering I’VE HAD ENOUGH, COWARD, YELLOW BELLY, LET’S SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN while my dude and i are set on the couch meditating/taking pictures of the kitty respectively, settle this like rednecks more like, no queremos u daft fuck

cops: “ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

percent of this shit i need in my life equals negative zero

you festering pile of donkey butts

excited 2 c what’s next for my poor little messed up car, busted windshield, firebomb? maybe he’ll relieve me of the catalytic converter, i hear that’s popular now.

That's pretty alarming. Please be careful.

and oh right yeah, tragic failure of the social safety net, nationwide mental health crisis, whatever, at some point i’ll be able to accept that he’s just a miserable tortured screaming cog in the hypercapitalist machine that’s crushing us all but it will be some time before i can reach that point because he SLASHED my TIRES and i will have to walk/take the bus to get there

thanx jimbeaux. brainstorming carefulness as much as my frazzled neurons will allow!

venting was nice, i feel a little better, blessings 2 ilx

We are with you in your anger
Proud brother
(Or sister)

do not fret
the bus will get you there yet

(sorry, sorry, had to do the next couple lines)

Is your neighbor Jesse Watters asking you on a date?

is this an apartment situation? it sounds like perhaps you need to have a talk with the landlords?

"have you tried asking the neighbor not to do this?"

"are you sure you didn't jump a curb on both sides of your vehicle yesterday?"

"call the police, leave us alone!"

probably the response one would get

right so we called 911 last night after he pounded on the door and shouted for mr. cat to come out to the park with him so they could settle things “like men” and the cops arrive and talk with everyone and decide hey, mr. neighbor was just inviting you out to the park for a nice friendly chummy neighborly walk at 11:30 at night, what’s the big deal

like

like, just

ugh

and mr. cat shows them the deranged texts from march and how the dates correlate with the date of the photos of the keying, and the deranged texts from tuesday and how they correlate with the slashed tires that were on my maimed car outside our building that very fucking minute and the cops are all

wow that’s crazy, good luck tho. we’ll email you a copy of the report sometime probly.

fuuuUUUuuUUuuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuUuuUUCKKKKKKK

i mean i thought they were at least supposed to gaf about property damage if nothing else but okay

$250 deductible for bodywork + $250 deductible for slashed tires = -$500 waheyyyyyy and no the insurance company can’t combine them into one claim because they happened a month apart, oopsie, oh well

when my car is healed and returned to me it’s staying with friends across town until this feculent cocknugget calms his waters and we get sum kinda surveillance/dashcam whatever installed (minus more money, thanks again bro, v cool and awesome of you)

that's the real rub. like this shit isn't 'free' to fix and so you aren't just sitting up at night worried about inconveniences to your day but the ability to fuckin eat

think the biggest diff between my 20s and 40s was

20s: don't worry, if u have a bad neighbor and he fucks w/ your shit, the law will take care of him

40s: shit, if u have a bad neighbor and he fucks w/ your shit, "the law" will "take care" of him :/

anywayz....I'm sorry you are going through all that shit, cos that type of persistent harassment is a nightmare.

thanks man! that’s really appreciated. assuming he doesn’t go rambo we oughtta be fine i think i hope?

the property’s community services specialist liaison person guy has been helpful in running interference with the banhappy property manager thru all this & has been kept in the loop with everything & trying for the past month to set up a meeting with himself and neighbor guy and us to hash things out in a productive way (b4 we figured out neighbor guy was also vandal guy) but guess what, today he got sent home with Tha Varus. turns out that’s not actually so bad (for us) since we now get to deal with the community services specialist liaison person lady, who is actually helpful and awesome! she’s going to try to get us a rent waiver for the amount we’re shelling out for the deductibles and will get the security video of mr. neighbor banging on our door and maybe get him out of here for harassment and she is my new best friend and i am going to bake her so much cookies <3

but of course there’s still this thing of, dude’s irrational + violent + escalating so what excitement does this evening hold? car is safely away at the body shop now so it’s just us and the kitty if he feels the need to stab something

or maybe he’s got it out of his system for the next couple weeks, who knows, guess we’ll find out

i would like to state for the record that his bandana looks dumb. also, the tacky howling coyote statuette outside his door is tacky and it sucks.

aw heck, i take it back about the coyote, none of this is the tacky coyote's fault and it's a little bit rad in spite of its owner's problems

fuck that bandana tho for real

SWAT yr neighbour. Tell the cops hes got bombs.

“well your neighbor tells us what he has is just ~balms~ for his holistic wellness apothecary so why don’t u folx just agree to disagree” him all wild-eyed behind them fiddling with pipes and wires and shrapnel

quiet night so far, fingers crossed

This is really fucked up hope he gets some heavy tranquilizers asap

amen!!

Hope you're okay, cat, this all sounds terrible.

gracias emil.y! doing well, got some sleep, no comms from fuckleberry finn thankfully

have to go out for a while and if i encounter this knucklehead in the halls he can expect the most pitying “hello” of his whole damn life

he passed mr. cat in the hallway tonight & made a batshit sneering remark, the gist of which was that he’s still hearing terrible sounds and still attributing them to us and still angry about it. bro has completely burned through his lifetime allotment of sympathy from me.

i told my guy before he went out to put his phone on record just in case but my guy was like naaah it’ll be fine. optimists!! how do any of them manage to survive in the wild!!!

Idiots here seem to have tried to pry the doorlock off the front door. It seems to be hanging half off, it is really loose. Whole thing moves if you go to unlock it. Really dislike that pair.