most disgusting-sounding regional American pizza style

tempted to vote Pizza Strips, but I don't see how the fuck it even counts as pizza.

Altoona-style looks like it would make me actually get sick

some of these actually don't look bad.

I think the new Papa John's Pizza Bowl should have been an option though I suppose the only 'region' it comes from is 'strip mall region'

The Altoona looks like something I would have come up with when I was ten or eleven. I voted for it.

tbh, I'd eat any of these (even the aforementioned monstrosity).

My partner and I have talked about doing a midwest road trip to try these. I've wanted to try Ohio valley style for a while.

None of these really strike me as disgusting. They all kinda look good to me, even the american cheese one (I remember eating pizza with Kraft singles as a kid for some reason so I've been inoculated). Don't know what provel tastes like though.

probably like cheez whiz

or whiz whiz

Grew up eating lunchables and frozen rectangle pizza, I'm sure it'll taste like home

lol I bought those lunchable mini pizzas in the last year and made them, just cos I still have a childlike appreciation of 'making my own pizza', even if it tastes like goo.

kinda wanna order ten of them on uber eats now from the grocery store

most of these seem fine except altoona

i’ve had quad city style in the quad cities, it wasn’t anything special imo

most of these seem fine except altoona

i’ve had quad city style in the quad cities, it wasn’t anything special imo

Altoona. Any pizza dominated by the yellow-orange glop commonly called "American cheese" is automatically the worst imaginable blot on the noble and ancient concept of pizza.

pizza is an umbrella which lovingly embraces all toppings on all crusts, you could be pizza right now, maybe we are all just a big earth pizza

dang i’m hongry

would house all this pizzas

https://i.imgur.com/ZLol6ur.jpeg

St. Louis pizza is sooooooooo gross.

whatever it is that is pictured in crüt's post, I'm fine with it existing as an object, or even with it's being eaten by a living creature in search of sustenance, but not with identifying it as a "pizza"

btw last week i discovered that if you have a raw pizza out and ready to go in the oven, and find that the oven is busted, you can form little pizza pouches and fry them and they are amazing.

why is there police caution tape on that pizza

like a pizza donut, but with all the best qualities of pizza + donut (minus sugar)(but with an added sugar glaze perhaps it could become a new regional mainstay suitable for inclusion on this kind of listicle)

Quad City pizza looks delicious. would eat.

big no to the kraft singles pizza.

I'd do Colorado or Quad.

My friend swears by Wisconsin pizza. Not really a regional style difference, he just claims they do it better.

Is it true or is he wearing cheese blinders because he's from Manitowoc

I guess I coulda just summoned frogbs

i feel like florida pizza could be truly horrific but i am afraid to curse my device with a google so depraved

Altoona style pizza (American cheese and bell pepper)

this sounds like some dumb shit i would try, because i put bell peppers on pretty much everything.

btw, i haven't had Imo's in a very long time, but it's the place to try "St Louis" style pizza if you ever fuck up big time and end up trapped here for a few hours or more. Go to Imo's and get yourself some shitty pizza, St Louis style

later that night, find your way to the side of a road and barf your guts up. let it all out. don't worry, we can buy new clothes and throw tonight's mess out in a gas station trashcan. no one will care. welcome to missouri you terrible fool

Altoona style pizza (American cheese and bell pepper)

wait, is Altoona style the one crut posted? looooool that looks incredibly bad!

i feel like florida pizza could be truly horrific but i am afraid to curse my device with a google so depraved

― packed plastic baskets (cat), Friday, August 19, 2022 10:09 PM bookmarkflaglink

I don't think we really HAVE a regional pizza? we're famous for a ton of restaurants that claim to serve NY style pizza (because of all of the NY transplants who live here), and instead serve leathery collections of despair.

oh, and two pizza places named Anthony's within a half mile of each other that are completely different, unaffiliated establishments, that confuse the fuck out of everybody

in East Rutherford I wonder if they serve an Al Toon pizza

hey kids....what do you want to eat tonight?

PIZZA!

haha, oooookay!

https://i.imgur.com/ZLol6ur.jpeg

FUCK YOU DAD, YOU'RE THE WORST

haha, well children, haha

y'all got Cici's Pizza near you? the buffet-style pizza joint with entertaining trash-assed pizza that you can gorge on, usually with an arcade attached with games that appear to be from 1997.

my friend, the late DJ Di, once DJed a wedding that was catered by Cici's Pizza. man, how much do you have to hate your guests.

There's a Quad Cities-style pizza place in Chicago. It's just okay.

Cici’s? In Missouri we call that Dr Fancy’s, and we only go when someone graduates

I want a pizza that's a meat-lovers reverse pizza, where you get gigantic, mutant-sized sausage and pepperoni wrapped around a tiny globule of tomato sauce and shredded cheese

there’s a cici’s i go past sometimes but a $5 pizza buffet brings with it the haunting specter of grubby child fingers and an inch-thick layer of germs

what if, like, a cuban pizza? that could be a florida thing but would bypass the unappetizing connotations of fascistgatordisneymeth (no offense, daerest florida peep). i’m basically envisioning dumping the contents of a cubano sandwich on pizza crust and then highfiving my co- conspirators as tourists shower us with $$$

I thought the pizza strips looked like the only edible thing on here, which is to say they look mediocre rather than horrifying. cheese is overrated anyway but I don't know why anyone would willingly consume anything resembling the "cheese" on these things

why is there police caution tape on that pizza

― Toonie Orlando (Neanderthal), Friday, August 19, 2022 6:31 PM

Because it's a crime scene? (obvious answers are obvious)

st louis pizza feels like they just don’t love themselves enough to admit that the Depression is over

Is Provel a real cheese?

First of all, yes, Provel is processed, although it is made from real cheese. It's a blend of Provolone, Swiss and Cheddar cheeses, made in Wisconsin but, not unlike Sammy Hagar, more popular in St. Louis than anywhere else.

the process really just makes it a room temperature solid emulsification that melts easily. You can do it to good cheese.

guy that was on iron chef does it at a celebrated new orleans sandwich shop

kinda confused that the article depicted what looked like a fairly innocuous Digiorno item as opposed to

Another style, taco pizza, baked with meat and refried beans and topped with lettuce, tomato, and Doritos, also originated in the Quad Cities

so, is it like taco bell mexican pizza but with a much breadier crush? or is it as unappetizing looking as the altoona thing that has a warholian quality

the RI pizza strips look fine (might have had them at one point idrc) - focaccia with tomato sauce nbd

the St Louis one looks like some frozen thin crust pizzas you'd find at the supermarket -- not exciting, but again, innocuous

the colorado one looks like a casserole with a pie crust

green bell peppers are the worst of all the vegetables on the earth, telling that they are the only vegetable making an appearance here

My wife eats pizza with no cheese, but with lots of meat and vegetables (the "combo pizza" from our local place is pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, green peppers, and onions). It kinda looks like a backstage deli tray with added tomato sauce. Of the options above, the Ohio Valley cooks-in-the-car-on-the-way-home one seems the least likely to make me want to murder anyone.

Some of these photos look like dead cats in aspic.

there are no bad vegetables

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/jadensadventures/images/a/a4/Vegetable_Gremlin.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160824073044

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/jadensadventures/images/a/a4/Vegetable_Gremlin.jpg

I grew up in St Louis so have a fondness for St Louis style pizza, but don’t know if I would if I hadn’t grown up with it. I will say that I don’t care for Imo’s; seek out a local joint if curious.

Er, substitute “non-chain" for local.

Left otm

the St Louis one looks like some frozen thin crust pizzas you'd find at the supermarket -- not exciting, but again, innocuous

Sammy Hagar cheese tho

The worst pizza I've ever had in NYC was from a place in Astoria called Boston Pizza (hey, they were open at 4am). If that's representative of Boston-style pizza then add it to the list.

Boston pizza = pizza that tells you to go fuck yaself

Boston pizza = pizza you need to take a shower after consuming, I'm afraid

which is saying a lot as it's meant to be eaten by drunks at unfortunate hours of the morning afaict.

Boston Pizza is a huge chain in Canada. I’m from the greater Boston region (southern NH) and have lived in Canada, but have never been to Boston Pizza. I mean, Boston is not known for its pizza.

Apparently the big regional pizza style in my neck of the woods is “Greek pizza.” Are there any other eastern New Englanders here who can confirm what that is and name a chain or two that exemplifies the style?

the st louis stuff is bad and the only one of these i was already familiar with

greek pizza isn't really a style it's just your standard new york-ish pizza but the pizza place will also serve gyros

Apparently the big regional pizza style in my neck of the woods is “Greek pizza.” Are there any other eastern New Englanders here who can confirm what that is and name a chain or two that exemplifies the style?

that's the stuff i'm referring to, yeah:

In the mid-’90s, they opened a fine-dining Turkish spot in Astoria called Cappadocia. But, Serhan says, since they were more accustomed to the fast-food business model, they eventually converted it into Boston Pizza, having learned to make New England Greek–style pizza from a family friend in the Boston area. (New England Greek is a common genre there).

greek pizza isn't really a style it's just your standard new york-ish pizza

no

It appears that Serhan & co eventually started serving Detroit-style pizza as well. Looks not as horrifying as the New England-Greek variety i sampled. At least on instagram.

tbf it looks like manna from heaven next to the Altoona one.

i just want to reiterate that st louis option is probably the most common really bad option you might run across. it is good to start a national rumor mill against it, it's fucking terrible and it's time to just call it out so things can change. anything different would be an improvement

apparently none of the several greek pizza places I've lived near have served greek pizza then!

now that I've looked it up i do recognize the style though with the shallow pan. it's okay and not anywhere close to these abominations

Well how dirty did it make you feel
xp

look, it was the only thing open at 4 in the morning!

y'know you were talking about the stale New York-style slices at the gyro spot, i'm sure we can at least agree that New England Greek-style pizza is a distinct entity

Altoona looks like something they’d give you in a CIA black site to make you talk.

Altoona looks like the regional speciality of a post-apocalyptic wasteland where those are the only ingredients available on your ration book.

eating a green bell pepper is like a shot of straight tonic water. Perhaps Altoona pizza was also first a "medicine."

Grew up in New England can confirm that Greek pizza is distinct and delicious. Used 2 get it with herbs & feta cheese & tomato and shit and it was great. the crust is also unique, even with more regular pizza toppings. fuckin loved that shit, would eat it right now so much,

yeah now that i figured out what exactly it is i've realized i've had it a bunch and like it, i just thought of it as 'pan pizza'

Tonic water and green bell peppers are both delicious! However, Altoona style pizza looks horrific.

I love bell peppers and stuffed peppers but something tells me they're getting theirs from Hungry Man tv dinners

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Blowout

I was a huge bell pepper eater as a child. Mom would slice up some peppers along with carrots, cucumbers, and celery sticks before dinner every night. I tried to start eating them raw again a few years ago. You know, trying to find healthier snacks for myself. But they would just leave this terrible aftertaste that wafted up from the cauldron of my stomach. I don't know what changed, but it was rude. But the only nastier thing I can think of would be to melt a slice of American cheese on top.

shared by an American friend on Facebook. which region is this from and how can I avoid it?

https://i.postimg.cc/SsLQFMJJ/img-1-1673635546670.webp

Pequod's is Chicago and it's fantastic (easily the best deep dish imo). Those caramelized edges are pure cheese.

(but Goldbelly is stupid and shipping a pizza is dumb)

Friend is from NY and was laughing at the burnt pizza, I will... not tell him

Ha. Here's a slightly more appetizing depiction:
http://https%3A//media.cntraveler.com/photos/5a8ef470873a2240b39ffff8/16%3A9/w_2560%2Cc_limit/Pequods_2018_1.-Pequod

I can't eat literally any element of this at the moment but I would dearly love to.

https://media.cntraveler.com/photos/5a8ef470873a2240b39ffff8/16:9/w_2560%2Cc_limit/Pequods_2018_1.-Pequod

Friend is from NY and was laughing at the burnt pizza, I will... not tell him

an interaction i have had many times:

NY friend: "haha look at that gross weird pizza!" *pulls out a boiling-hot plain slice as long as their entire forearm & folds it like a paper airplane to take a bite*

Quad City Pizza is good

come on grab a slice
and eat it (CHEW CHEW)

i see i already made that stupid joke in the poll itself ;_;

Pequod's looks insanely good to me in Jordan’s pic.

yeah i'd go to town on that

Pequods is v v good pizza

They also make the tavern style

I had Detroit-style pizza this past weekend

it was pretty good!

my favorite thing about detroit style pizza is that apparently a couple years ago pizza hut put a "detroit-style pizza" on their menu. pizza hut was, at the start, allegedly detroit style. some real baudrillard shit.

It is good! It's kind of like a better version of what Pizza Hut used to be/aimed for/achieved/whatever. I guess in theory Little Caesar's is Detroit style? I've never had it, but they're Detroit-based, iirc. Another Detroit chain is Jets, but frankly most chain pizza is garbage. Thankfully, there are a lot of real pizza places dipping their toes into Detroit.

detroit style is good. i dont think pizza hut's pizza has at all resembled it in my lifetime

interestingly, portland is the second biggest town in america for new haven-style pizza (behind, of course, mobile alabama). but we have other regional styles too - there's a good detroit-style place near me. i liked jet's a lot when i lived in the midwest. even if they kept fucking up the fancy-ass crusts.

not eating too much detroit-style these days. it tends to go best with heavy beers.

Buddy's in Detroit rules. I've been meaning to try one of their frozen/shipped pizzas.

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/351520312_590521573148123_2253570771803299901_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=PzA_nDD7PLMAX92qb-W&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=00_AfCpIH2dIVIh2Df8JAOEqibKd2_RPhUBad34iMCTJ7ukfQ&oe=648D0A87

The Cincinnati Pie! Contains Cincy-Style Chili as a base, Hotdogs, and Cheddar Cheese.

There's a world-famous pizza guy in town here that opened a Detroit style pizza restaurant in 2012 (!) and it floundered, was basically floated by the success of his other restaurants. I want to say it's not even considered to be one of the top 10 Detroit-style pizza spots in the city by popularity. Kinda odd.

My Chicago-transplant friends are all waxing nostalgic on the trend of all the tavern-style spots opening up around the area.