i saw mommy kissing santos (george)

this wildly chaotic hero deserves his own thread imo

https://i.imgur.com/TOe6mS8.png

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/01/george-santos-il-bacco-campaign-spending-new-york.html

MUST-READ story here. How'd Santos raise all the money? One way was finding wealthy donors, getting a donation and then going to town with the same credit card with fraudulent charges to numerous Santos-linked campaign entities. One donor ... https://t.co/7pKdeK1RnA

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) January 14, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGdGBTLdvNE

do we have any sympathy for devolder?

any reason we should?

im saving the sympathy until any consequences actually land!

(at which point i will withhold it -- unless of course he continues to be hilarious)

https://i.imgur.com/TOe6mS8.png
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/trump_sign_s_2015.jpg?w=2000&h=1126&crop=1
https://itsastampede615821596.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/how-many-sleepaway-camp-movies-are-there.jpg

guess I fucked up my own joke then:

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners Santos
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/01/george-santos-the-luckiest-liar-in-politics.html

NEW: I just spoke by phone with Eula Rochard, a Brazilian drag queen who was friends with George Santos when he lived near Rio. She said everyone knew him as Anthony (*never* George), or by his drag name, Kitara, and confirms this photo is from a 2008 drag show at Icaraí Beach. pic.twitter.com/1MeeDR1O2O

— Marisa Kabas (@MarisaKabas) January 18, 2023

this is a busy guy!

i love him

1) THREAD: PAY ATTENTION to this George Santos MAGA Moment. A video surfaced this week of Santos introducing himself as Anthony Devolder. He said he organized a group United For Trump at a rally on 3/23/19 with charged insurrectionist, Brandan Straka of Walk Away. pic.twitter.com/FTWTKRRfFj

— Sandi Bachom (@sandibachom) January 17, 2023

We need to import this quality of politician to the UK.

do we have any sympathy for devolder?

― the shaker intro bit the shaker outro in the tail, hard (breastcrawl)

maybe something bad happened to him in the past that made him be like this but it's impossible to know because we have no idea what events actually happened in his life

my new theory is that he is actually twins or triplets all pretending to be one guy via subterfuge, as in the Christopher Nolan movie The Prestige

also he is Booji Boy

correct

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/01/18/santos-mother-sept-11/

Rep. George Santos (R-N.Y.) has said his mother was inside one of the World Trade Center towers when they were attacked on Sept. 11, 2001, but immigration records indicate that Santos’s mother wasn’t in the United States on that day.

plot twist: she was flying the plane

George Santos's mother was Tania Head?

she's tania hearst

https://cdn.britannica.com/07/193107-050-8F690634/Patricia-Hearst-front-emblem-Symbionese-Liberation-Army.jpg

as well i mean

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/george-santos-took-3000-veteran-dog-gofundme-1234662731/

George Santos Allegedly Took $3,000 From Dying Dog’s GoFundMe

They are going to tell tall tales about this man someday

I know this horse has been beaten to death, but it's amazing that this guy has, daily, a new scandal that would have been career ending pre-2000s, but even if total it amounts to jack shit.

"in total"

Back-to-back "I am not a drag queen" and "I did not kill that dog" is immediate Hall of Fame level posting pic.twitter.com/CntVYddui0

— Don Moynihan (@donmoyn) January 19, 2023

Georgina Santísima is her drag name.

very "that's not me in the video" vibes

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b1/Shaggy-wasn%27t-me.jpg

I am not gonna lie, the story about the dog tipped me over into “this isn’t a human being, this is movie character” territory and I know am just waiting for the next ridiculous revelation with a level of anticipation that I will absolutely regret once he manages to do something consequential on a national level

"The reports that I beat Morgan Wallen and stole his car are shocking and insane. I didn't steal his car, he offered it to me."

"Lots of people whose cars I didn't steal have been sending me messages thanking me for not stealing their cars."

"I did not dress that dog up in drag."

https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-05-2016/ND8MN_.gif

“Over the past 24hr I have received pictures of my drag Queen “performances” throughout the years along with supportive messages.”

Isn't Santos made out of pure negative id, a folk devil made from left over fear after the pandemic.
LIke if you look back into his past long enough are you going to find out that he never actually existed. Just manifest to feed off other people's panic

That sounds like a Coscarelli horror movie

Brazilian outlet Piauí has resurfaced an incredible 2021 interview with George Santos, where he claimed he was just mugged on Fifth Avenue in broad daylight—they stole his *shoes*—and said he planned to donate his entire congressional salary to "four NGOs" https://t.co/n9PG6vuDW0

— Roger Sollenberger (@SollenbergerRC) January 20, 2023

the intersection he claims he was mugged at is one block from trump tower

checks out

https://media.cnn.com/api/v1/images/stellar/prod/230120141217-01-george-santos-drag-queen-claims-brazil.jpg

A clearer photo of Kitara, but there's so much deep-fakery these days, this could've been made by a 14 year old for all we know

In an interview with CNN, Rochards said that it’s Santos in the pictures, adding that she knew him from LGBTQ events he attended in the town of Niterói, near Rio de Janeiro, where she said he was well known in the gay community.

Rochards said she recognized Santos from a recent news report and dug up the old pictures but was surprised to learn that Santos was a Republican.

“I don’t know him now, I only knew him then,” she said.

I once worked with a guy who was a pathological liar. Everyone knew it, but didn't really care because he was sort of childlike and his lies were of the variety of "I ran into Kanye West and he gave me a tape of his new album but then this guy dressed as Spiderman stole it from me on the bus."

that's more plausible than some of the Santos ones

reminds me of when MTG was first elected and it was discovered she had a "sex guru" who was tracked down and interviewed and one of the things he said was "I thought I knew her pretty well, she was not like this at all". Madison Cawthorn has maybe a similar story. I know a lot of people were worried that we were gonna wind up with a lot of Trump-like figures in politics post 2016 but I think the reality is we're getting a bunch of Omarosas

The wife of a good friend of mine went to high school with Marge Taylor (as she was then known). Her recollection is that she was "completely unremarkable."

There was a good article in the Atlantic about how all of these reactionary movements around the world (the author focused on Poland, but it was applicable to most of them) are really giving an opportunity for revenge to the utter mediocrities of the world.

I actually know very little about Santos' politics, the myth has greatly overshadowed any policy leanings.. is he trumpy?

I'm thrilled to be joined on the Science Committee by my Republican colleague Dr. George Santos, winner of not only the Nobel Prize, but also the Fields Medal - the top prize in Mathematics - for his groundbreaking work with imaginary numbers. https://t.co/RJQ7eP8n8x

— Congressman Bill Foster (@RepBillFoster) January 20, 2023

ok I'm actually starting to come around on this guy

I know everyone is talking about how George Santos wrote a fake wiki that said he appeared on Hannah Montana, but I’m obsessed with his alleged movie that starred three of the actors from Batman and Robin. pic.twitter.com/x7ugThowYA

— Collin Murr (@CollinMurr) January 21, 2023

he'll probably die cutting in line at a Falafel stand in Times Square

this thread title is driving me nuts!

We should get a Cameo of him singing the song

“Obviously there’s a monetary benefit — I’m not here doing it for charity — but the other aspect is to remind these assholes who think they’re holier-than-thou that they will be forgotten in history and I will live forever, period,” he said.

He’s gonna learn how to fly, high

look at what happened to me
i can't believe it myself

I absolutely cannot believe the reality I am living in pic.twitter.com/Iq4g2tWe2Z

— Ben Yahr (@benyahr) December 8, 2023

I admit I’m kind of coming around on this guy

Sure, now that he has no position in governing the country it's possible to like him on some level. He has a certain amount of charisma, even though he's a thoroughly irresponsible person, scammer, and hopeless liar.

Yeah sure why not

(R-NY) (Furry/Beavapus)

somebody paid $500 for that.

Fake it till you make it

Can I just say that beaver-slash-platypus is pretty cool, sure. But beaver-slash-OCTOPUS would be frickin awesome?

Octobeaver. Tell me you wouldn't watch that movie if it were done Sharknado style

James Bond already did it

surely the beavapus portmanteau is meant to evoke vaginae?

Probably, but for me it's more fun to think about the actual animals.

I can’t get past “I’m so happy the management at Arby’s allowed you to come to work in your fursona”

tho now that i think of it octobeaver does as well, nvm

i wonder what octomom is up to these days anyway

Does the octobeaver have eight legs or eight tails or a mix thereof? Inquiring minds want to know.

https://abcnews.go.com/amp/GMA/Wellness/octomom-nadya-suleman-shares-inspiring-gym-selfie-after/story?id=100452691

i'm envisioning more of a pantycthulu

aw, she seems to be doing well!

lol okay the Beavapus thing was a prank from the Jimmy Kimmel show

...and there is now evidently a legal dispute about whether a TV prank constitutes commercial vs. personal use, which changes the Cameo pricing structure.

https://1984fortheloveofpopsgreatestyear.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/larry-blackmon.jpg

I think Santos might actually be right on this! I think they've shown weird Cameos before from guys like Scaramucci but when it's requested specifically to generate content for the show, yeah I think that's probably commercial use

must be some teeth to the dispute too, despite claiming he had a bunch of these on Monday that they'd show throughout the week they haven't done any since

leaning way too hard into this villain shit now. dude had an impressive run but he's basically just a more successful version of Scaramucci. feel like he's got about 2 weeks of this quasi-fame left

Ziwe: What can we do to get you to go away?
George Santos: Stop inviting me to your gigs.
Ziwe: The lesson is to stop inviting you places?
George Santos: But you can’t cuz people want the content.pic.twitter.com/Osz05aw9qL

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 18, 2023

Santos on the money, though.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/fm_6VT9WhgAAAAAC/its-true-but-he-shouldnt-say-it-marge-simpson.gif

i just want to see him dance and then he can go away

lol, didn't even see the clip yet but i see ziwe asked about that! it's the question america is asking

Dancing With The Frauds

my friends: https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/other/ousted-george-santos-continues-cameo-appearances-with-new-christmas-themed-videos-santos-claus-is-coming-to-town/ar-AA1lHGSt

https://www.axios.com/2024/03/23/house-republicans-chaos-majority-motion-vacate

headline good: Republicans livid as chaos threatens to cannibalize House majority

final paragraph better: “Amid Friday's chaos, disgraced former Rep. George Santos announced he's leaving the Republican Party to run for Congress in New York as an independent — saying the GOP was too embarrassing.”

chaos-muppet undefeated

Alas, he flew too close to the sun (again)

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/23/nyregion/george-santos-dropping-out.html

Kitara makes a cameo on.. well, Cameo

“It’s your favourite, Kitara. After 18 years in the closet, George Santos pulled me back out, whatever,” Mr. Santos says in the footage.

https://static.independent.co.uk/2024/05/01/18/newFile-5.jpg

Republican veep nomination when

So sad

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/victims-told-plea-deal-for-george-santos-in-the-works-could-come-next-week

in conclusion: this hero ripped off goons who deserve to die in penury #istandwithsantos(george)

https://apnews.com/article/george-santos-plea-court-new-york-90741d068fd94090419fc0fd79be30cc

“I betrayed the trust of my constituents and supporters. I deeply regret my conduct,” the New York Republican said, his voice trembling as he entered the plea in a Long Island courtroom.

Santos, 36, said he accepted responsibility for his crimes and intends to make amends. He faces more than six years in prison under federal sentencing guidelines and owes at least $370,000 in restitution.

very few people in history have in fact regretted their conduct less

I deeply regret my conduct

i'm all for forgiveness and second through tenth chances but in this case he is very obviously lying about regretting anything he's done

xp

wonder how that lawsuit against Jimmy Kimmel is going

He looks like he’s about to start leading the people around him in the “Gangnam Style” dance

remember when that song was new and some ilxors were suggesting it sounded like "open condom style"

it does sound like open condom style

frappa neppa vette

or whatever it was

Can anyone confirm Vance is on Ozempic?
He’s looking thin and good! 👍🏼

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) October 2, 2024

So my weirdo congressman has a gimmicky office Christmas party, and this year he made this thread title come true (somewhat — no mommy-kissing was documented).

https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/5024872-santos-santa-suit-capitol-christmas-party/