Laura: the final chapter

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It's tumour spread. Confirmed officially.

Now in the neck, chest and infiltrating the lungs. Surgery is not an option. It is inoperable.

All that can be offered now is radiotherapy and/or chemotherapy, which will only buy time.

Laura has about a year to go at the most if she's lucky.

Black.

I never knew that things could look so black.

I'm done. I'll be around for as long as Laura is around. After that there will be no point.

Life's been a big disappointment.

No more hope. No more colour.

Just despair.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Absolutely anything I could say would be insufficient, or will come out as pig-headed or just plain jejune. Just know that both of you are kept in mind.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Marcello, I am so very sorry to hear this. And angry, too, that nearly 30 years after my lucky escape (which always makes me feel horribly guilty at times like these, hearing bad news) things appear to have gotten worse for those of us unlucky enough to come into contact with cancer. Words fail me sometimes.

― suzy, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

marcello, i'm so sorry. i hope that you will somehow, somewhere find consolation and that she will find peace. it seems criminal, even sinful, to continue to add words that mean so little, so i'll try to bring this to a halt: i don't know you, beyond your excellent writings, or laura, but you should know that, as i conclude this, there are tears in my eyes. my heart is with both of you.

― fred solinger, Monday, 20 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fuck. if ther is anything at all, though that is more than unlikely, just ask. hugs and thoughts, ,though hugely insufficient, are yours in abundance.

― Geoff, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It is so diffucult to belive in G-ds mercy. I am praying for you and wish you everything postive i can.

― anthony, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Marcello, I haven't said much because I really haven't known what to say. I've been there before, although not in your exact situation, and you are within my thoughts.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't know what to say. I am so terribly sorry for you and Laura and I can only hope with the rest of us here for a miracle, for the best possible outcome. I know of people in similar situations that have overcome even events like this. My thoughts are with you.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never cried at reading something on the internet before.

I've never felt that everything else loses all its meaning before.

Nothing I could say could change anything.

I feel for you.

― Robin Carmody, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today at mass i added Laura and your name to the healing list and lit a candle. I hope this is okay.

― anthony, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three months pass...

From despair to where?

― The demented grief audience, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nearer to "where" than "despair" than I was three months ago but not out of the woods yet.

General message to other posters (particularly newer ones) who think I'm going bonkers:

I do all this to stop myself from going bonkers.

See my contribution to the recent "Suicide" ILE thread for a longer story.

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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