welcome to the ILX Teambuilding conference call

Just going to give another minute or two for everybody to join.

Let's...all make sure to mute our mics, we'll do an icebreaker in a few minutes.

My name is....hi, guys, hearing some background chatter, if we can mute our mics.

My name is Neanderthal, I've been with ILX for....

Hi, again, I'm hearing some background noise, and the conversation I heard was not appropriate for this meeting. Let's please make sure to mute our lines.

I've been with ILX for 17 years, and I enjoy....

alright, I've muted everyone temporarily. anyway, enough about me. who do we have on the line?

can you hear me? I can't hear you

This is going to be a win-win situation.

sorry, there's a guy with a weed whacker outside the window, let me mute for a second

you're on mute

you're frozen

Ok ok one at a time everybody let's....

ok...can we

can we raise our hands if we're unable to hear me?

wait that won't work.

*typing* plz raise hand if you can't hear me

https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1100/format:webp/1*sY4AkvSu5pa1T2rNryysQw.jpeg

they're laughing at YOU

Hi everyone sorry about this, I need to take Andy into a side chat real quick, be just one moment.

while you're gone, I want you to type in the chat what your favorite DISNEY MOVIE is

alright we're back. I think Andy has something they want to say to the group

I have to answer the door and check on something on the oven, be right back.

conscious of time...let's wrap this up

*sorry* for being disruptive

OK, we'll go around, and everyone tell us what you're most excited about having achieved this month.

Understanding our common touchpoints will help this team to navigate the end-to-end framework, yeah?

^^^^^^(from an actual email I received today)

I’m in a meeting.

I don’t know where the keys are. Have you looked in the usual place?

Sorry, that was my wife. What were you saying?

I'd like to piggy back on what Andy said and say I'm proud that we achieved global cloud intransfusional culpability.

I'm not a cat.

kinda cool & grey here, heard you guys are getting some real heat down there

hold on, I need to go let the FedEx guy in the front gate.. BRB

*Pinned post*

Whomever is putting duct tape between the cracks of the third floor men's room stall, please stop. It is damaging to the paint on the stall doors. I know you may be squeamish about people seeing you making business, but it's nothing none of us haven't seen before.

Can anyone one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one....

alright fuck this. Fuddruckers made me a higher offer and I can't take this shit anymore. outtie.

SHREK

Guys, I have another meeting now, gotta jump. Thanks for a good one!

wait what time is it there?

It's eleven at night.

gonna need to drop soon, sorry

Get down, Cheddar! Sorry about my cat, everyone.

So anyway this is my cat Leo and he’s obviously very interested in what you all have to say and responding. Aren’t you, Leo? No dammit get off the keyboard

Ha! Cat jinx! Cat jinx of cat hijinx!

I think you're still on mute

We already did this!

http://conferencecall.biz/

can everyone read it ok? do i need to zoom in?

Can you share your screen?

(anyone else havin a little drinky-winky? I wont tell lol haha)

if I go off camera it’s because I’m vaping

hi so remember when I said I had a better offer from Fuddruckers, yeah, well, 72 hours later I no longer have it. it fell through, there's an appeal going on regardign sample collection.

anyway I apologize for saying fuck

Aww, my CBD vape is blinking.

Maybe we can all take a bio-break.

You're frozen again.. maybe turn off the camera

Remember the slogan

Hongro with Purpose

LET'S CIRCLE BACK NEXT WEEK

I have a hard stop in two minutes.

We already did this!

http://conferencecall.biz/

― emil.y, Thursday, August 3, 2023 3:24 PM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i heard that a famous venture capitalist and former ILX exec bought this company for a crazy amount of money and so the guy who made it got to retire and just makes paintings all day. (1) is that true? (2) is he on the call and if so can he please mute his mic (3) is that why i can only post from the philippines now

I know we’re over time but…

Sorry everyone! I was traveling from a conference last week when I was accepting the invite and had the wrong time zone, hehehe. What'd I miss? Can you bring me up to speed?

Who keeps muting me? I’m speaking

If you change your . . . yeah . . . if you change your view to gallery, you'll be able to see all of us. Yes. Gallery view. Upper right hand corner.

God I had a call like this today... I was at home, they sounded like they were spread across four airplane hangers

Zoom started to charge us, so we moved to MS Teams which is appalling

No, no, upper right.

Your other right

Dude, blur your background. No one needs to see that. Sheesh.

DAMN IT ANDREA

omg stop

let me know when you can see the presentation

You're on mute... Carol, you're on mute

*Leaning over to speak into my laptop microphone because the docking station doesn’t recognize my headset mic.*

can you hear me?

I only see your desktop

sorry to remind again but if you pledged for young Kieran's walkathon I need your money now.

it is not his fault that you didn't anticipate he would walk 29 miles, you committed!

accidentally shows the entire meeting what I’m playing on Spotify

(I actually did that in a big public meeting on a planning application)

Have trouble connecting rom this remote vacation locale, sorry

We're using MS Teams now, and the 'stop share' button is right next to the 'end meeting' button, that's caused some hilarity

I have my camera off because I look terrible

Paul you’re too close to the camera. Bacdafucup

I have my camera off, I'm in the car

I have my car off, I'm in the camera

Neando, can’t tell if you stepped away for a minute because your camera’s off, but everyone else went to the breakout rooms. you’re stupid to go to room 4. just let me know if you’re having an issue accepting the invitation

From a fly on the wall, junior analyst point of view, it’s quite entertaining to witness all you higher ups quibbling and quietly jockeying for position on this call

I d . . . important that . . . ight.

incredibly unflattering freeze frame

for the last time, mute yourself if you take your laptop into the bathroom.

also...recommending you prunes, rn

This mf got his proctologist on speed dial

"I know we're scheduling a double-click into this topic..."

[one person has a microphone next to their nose so we have to hear the movement of phlegm around their sinuses as they speak but nobody is brave enough to tell them]

I think I've been on hold this entire time, did I call in to the right number?

*has camera off and is muted for entire meeting*

*meeting ends*

"Thanks everyone!"

"Does anyone know if Harold has joined yet? He's the one who insisted on this time."

GERALD GET DOWN OFF THE GODDAMN COU-....

oh my god I'm sorry. I'll mute

"I'll remind folks once again that the chats are not private."

Gerald is adorable! Sorry that’s just how i feel.

He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.

hate to see what a bad zing looks like

*has camera off and is muted for entire meeting*

*meeting ends*

"Thanks everyone!"

*farts*
“Oh sh…”

‘I like your profile picture. Is that your cat?’

‘Yes, that’s Mr Tibbs. Loved Sydney Poitier.’

‘Cute pic. That's me bungee jumping in my pic. I did it in New Zealand last year .’

... ......... .. ..... ........ .. .... .. ....... ... . .. .....?

From an actual conversation where people switch off their camera when not presenting.

.., ....! ...'.. ....... .... ... ...... ......... ... ........ .. .. ... .........

lol

ok i am recording the meeting, let me know if you object

A little bit about me.. When I was 7 my father was stationed in the Punjab and that's where I discovered a I had a talent for violin

Tracer you sent that as a direct message, I think you meant it to go to everybody

Sorry if this has already been mentioned... I'm late to the call, but does anyone remember that very funny, weird website an Ilxor* made where they got different people to send voice messages of themselves pretending to be on a conference and it just cycled randomly through them with ambient music and images?

*Karl Malone maybe?

definitely KM

We already did this!

http://conferencecall.biz/

― emil.y, Thursday, August 3, 2023 4:24 PM bookmarkflaglink

(original thread is 77'ed)