Where's My Statue? Hagiography/Image-Scrubbing/Fan Worship Vanity Docs In The Streaming Age

it's a bit much, no? i started to watch that tanya tucker thing on netflix - and my very first thought was "she deserves better than this..." - and then the country singer who was dragging tanya out of bed - a la jack white knocking on wanda jackson's door and kidnapping her until she wakes up on the letterman show - says in the studio that she wants the big comeback album to be like rick rubin's johnny cash album and i yelled: "noooooooooooooo! don't do it, lady! run, tanya, run!" then i stopped watching.

and i can't help but think when i see trailers for these things that there are probably a WHOLE lot of people NOT interviewed who could tell you some different stories about david geffen, clive davis, and quincy jones.

also, are they going to run out of people?

also, i see tom hanks being a veteran of the second world war or a documentary where famous people go around the world in private jets asking people about...i dunno...racism, global warming, elder boston terrier abuse, whatever, as the worst kind of ticket to heaven behavior. just cut a check. or make a more entertaining show/movie and give the money to charity. i get it. everyone worries about what people will say about them after they are dead. or famous people do anyway. but its getting ridiculous.

the streamers need content. famous people guarantee a certain amount of eyeballs. its as simple as that. but some of this stuff is just....i mean...come on, man! have you no shame?

also, i would love to hear about the worst vanity doc infomercial you watched late one night when you were sick with malaria. i feel like that's the only time when programming like this might make sense. its possible i'm just sick of celebrity everything though. i liked the comedian i saw the other night. he basically said "I don't want to talk to any more new people. I know enough people. I get it. You were born and then you did something. Who cares?"

There was a pretty saccharine prankcumentary of a "normal dude" being on a wacky jury where James Marsden plays an unflattering version of himself and I wondered which celeb would surprise people the most to allow a Chuck Barris-style fabulist documentary hinting that they're actually the zodiac killer or something equally horrible.

for some reason what you just said reminds me of that joaquin phoenix mockumentary where he becomes a rapper? i could never watch it. or that jim carrey one where he channels andy kaufman. they could both be the zodiac killer if they were a little older. maybe armie hammer will make one like that.