snippets of good news in a very grim season

1: bolsonaro is not appearing in public as he is no longer able to wear trousers
2: when boats under attack blasted orcas with heavy metal* to dispel them, it only made them more rigorously disciplined and determined

*alleged playlist HERE

Links to all this good new is appresh

1
and
2

i literally just googled my own sentences there but bcz i have loved you lo! these 20+ yrs jimmy the mod

i would personally enjoy not being able to wear trousers but not because god had stricken me for my sins

Looks like the Jair piece is a year old.

its news to me and that's all that counts

also this thread needs more GOOD NEWS SNIPPETS and fewer requests and commentary from ilxor elders

i give it a day max before someone posts bad news to spite the effort

no! NO!!

update: bolsonaro is now appearing in public without pants

I have shared the orca news with a few different people and they in turn have shared it. Am concerned the orcas are going to find out and there's going to be trouble.

In other animal-related good news, I read today that the four pet hippos left abandoned in Pablo Escobar's compound have spawned a herd of 170, and are now beginning to munch their way through the Columbian countryside. Good news for the hippos, in any event.

oh dip that is lovely hippo news, leaving aside the ecological and social implications

i am imagining people trying to shoo hippos out of their vegetable gardens: go on, git, ye varmints, and the hippos are all like it's not our fault that destiny has united us with your delicious tomatoes, munch munch

btw milky seas aka mareel are real and not just sailor hallucinations brought on by too much grog

i like the gradual reveal that every unlikely yarn that sailors spin eventually turns out to be pure science fact:
rogue waves ✅
giant squids battling with whales ✅
milky seas ✅

Not long to wait for evidence of mermaids luring gullible sailors to a watery grave.

The mermaids exited, they were just sexy walruses/seals/sea lions

I like that after more than half a century of deep sea ROVs and submersibles dropping into and witnessing, scanning and filming the mysteries of The Deep - with powerful 4k cameras these days, how this still really hasn't managed to make the abyssal realm that much less mysterious and terrifying, yet.

I love the theory that mermaids were manatees. Those sailors must have been real drunk to make that mistake lol.

And I think about Escobar's hippos at least once a month.

drunk/its been a while

For a second I thought you were talking about yourself and was a bit concerned.

pls

if i think about pablos hippos once a month its not in *that* way

lol I forgot what thread I'd opened so I didn't read it in response to my post. I thought you were just announcing being drunk at 10am on a Monday.

no one is using this thread as it shd be used tbh, tho deems routinely drunk and dreaming of hippos is good news in the snese of a funny image

Dog who survived 72 days in mountains after owner’s death is regaining weight and back on hiking trails

https://apnews.com/article/colorado-hiker-death-loyal-dog-survives-41f6392895462f029da3719453043a2c

👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

Iowa teen grew 7,000 pounds of veggies, then gave them all away

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2023/11/14/iowa-teen-farmer-donate-garden/

https://www.deccanherald.com/environment/wildlife/an-expedition-finds-a-lost-mammal-that-lays-eggs-and-a-shrimp-that-lives-in-trees-2765363

"It's a very weird creature," Davranoglou said, adding that it's able to leap three or four feet in the air to escape predators. "We were quite awe-struck, really."

"the quills of a hedgehog, the snout of an anteater and the feet of a mole,"

excellent assemblage imo

and further on in the sentence i learned that this was found in the cyclops mountains! mountains of cyclopes! i did not even know there was such a place. v excited to see this sentence through to its thrilling conclusion!

alright the sentence petered out boringly but further down the page we got

(monotremes) nurse their young with milk through pores in their skin, as they lack nipples, and possess snouts that sense movements and electrical currents in prey.

which may not be news to anyone else but which i will file away in my mental good news drawer regardless

tree-dwelling leeches

*hastily cancels ticket to cyclops mountains*

science has made vagina chips btw

treeshrimp.

science has made vagina chips btw

― Crow Crew Roll Call: (cat)

new bottom surgery just dropped

Some good news: apparently Canada is getting universal dental next year 😁

😊

:D

Cilla Black discourse has been the only bit of good news I've seen

I physically cannot cope with this pic.twitter.com/9xRHfNDKik

— Shirley Carter’s Festive Pussy (@shirlpuzz) December 1, 2023

The replies are awesome as well. Few blue ticks. Posting still exists!
tell it to earth!!!

Just read an article about Svalbard Reindeer - their numbers are healthy and they don't yet seemed adversely reacting to climate change

Cilla Black discourse has been the only bit of good news I've seen

🐦[I physically cannot cope with this pic.twitter.com/9xRHfNDKik🕸
— Shirley Carter’s Festive Pussy (@shirlpuzz) December 1, 2023🕸]🐦

Just Google Good News!

Good news from underground: Earthworms are thriving
With the human population growing -- and paving much of the land – you might think earthworms are endangered. In fact, Linda Blum says they’re doing fine. She’s a retired professor of environmental science at UVA and a Piedmont Master Gardener who says worms live in underground tunnels.

right on canada 🍁 right on rudolphs 🦌 right on earthworms 🪱

https://variety.com/2023/digital/news/new-yorker-drops-andy-borowitz-cutbacks-1235824249/

hahaha that actually did just make my day, tyvm

the gods have been good this day, but where were they for the past 25 fkin years of mercilessly grimly unfunny hackwork i ask you, like this guy's whole thing was an unintentional anti-comedy andy kaufman bit that went on for decades of fat nyer paychecks, he's like a heideckerian satire of satire that stretches thru an infinity mirror of self-referential garbageness

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/dec/10/captain-tom-moore-hannah-ingram-moore-daughter-spa

Captain Tom film is on hold

Maybe that's bad news, not sure anymore

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-67940671?fbclid=IwAR2Agjp-DLQ_HKHmipKdJUOR3JvQNjb5c1aDm-DG3XQXWCCMg-1u_u9U5NI

^Huge ancient city found in the Amazon

the vindication of lieut.col. percy fawcett and his made-up shrunken head!

A woman bought a vintage dress at an antique store. It had a secret pocket with a mysterious note

Jaguars - back in the U.S.A.!

In the 1990s, the elusive cat began to occasionally reappear in the rugged Sky Islands mountain ranges in New Mexico and Arizona. Now, a series of sightings in the region over the past year marks the endangered predators’ tentative return.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/feb/06/photographs-wild-jaguars-return-us-aoe

https://www.kron4.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2024/03/the-Kids-found-the-Sloth-bone.jpg

Kids find fossil from giant Ice Age sloth in Santa Cruz Mountains

https://www.kron4.com/news/california/kids-find-fossil-from-giant-ice-age-sloth-in-santa-cruz-mountains/

Tens of thousands of live salmon fell off a truck in Oregon – and into a creek

it was the wrong creek, but I'll take the win ;)

https://www.npr.org/2024/04/04/1242762152/fish-out-of-water-story-ends-with-77-000-young-salmon-in-the-wrong-water

rad

https://phys.org/news/2024-07-photons-doors-advanced-optical-technologies.html

https://sfstandard.com/2024/07/11/nudists-save-tourist-attack-castro/

I definitely had an easier time understanding that second story.

Well, looks like Matilda Jones, aged 7, is the new ruler of Great Britain sorry I don't make the rules pic.twitter.com/uDrt4Oa411

— Women Posting W's (@womenpostingws) July 11, 2024

Mushroom learns to crawl after being given robot body, hooray!

Mel gibsons mansion burned down

he's homeless ... La da dee la dee da

Mel has some good news

WOW.

“I have 3 friends. All 3 of them had stage 4 cancer…and all 3 of them…don't have cancer right now at all…”

“What did they take…?”

“Ivermectin and Fenbendazole…”pic.twitter.com/WlnWdjsFFz

— Liz Churchill (@liz_churchill10) January 10, 2025

https://news.sky.com/story/captain-sir-tom-moores-name-dropped-from-foundation-set-up-his-name-following-scathing-report-13298844

The Captain Tom Foundation is now known as the 1189808 Foundation, reflecting the organisation's charity number.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSwDLavjiNc

4chan nuked (admittedly by k*** f**** so a w for even worse cunts but this is what passes for good news now)

someone on bsky was saying "you should appreciate how much of internet culture comes from 4chan" and mf that's why I hate it so virulently, fuck off forever 4chan and everything it spawned.

they were one of the vanguards of cat memes but it's hard to really believe those things don't evolve in 99% of all timelines once the Internet exists at speeds allowing easy image sharing

yeah but their cat memes are the shit twee cat memes, you could say they put back the progress of cat memes by a decade

Cub found alone in US woods now being raised by wildlife staff in bear costumes

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/23/bear-cub-california

https://www.rawstory.com/protesters-force-jeff-bezos-to-change-wedding-plans/

Incarcerated women oversee a program to save an endangered butterfly in the Pacific Northwest

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2025/jul/04/taylor-butterfly-washington-women-prison

https://fortune.com/2025/07/29/wesley-lepatner-blackstone-breit-real-estate-investment-fund-killed-mass-shooting/

ouch

https://edition.cnn.com/2025/08/21/politics/james-dobson-obituary

yessss

sickos.jpg

PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celebrate today, and then forget he ever existed.

unrelated but i feel like there's a heaviness going around lately, more so than usual.

‘We’re winning a battle’: Mexico’s jaguar numbers up 30% in conservation drive
Fast-forward 15 years and the news has got even better. The group’s latest census found that in 2024 there were 5,326 jaguars in Mexico, a 30% increase compared with 2010.

“The fact that the country has managed to maintain and increase its population over the last 14 years is extraordinary,” Ceballos said. “For me it’s great news for the country. Mexico and the world need good news.”

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Jaguar-CC-Kali-the-destroyer.jpg

Support for monarchy at record low, survey reveals.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/monarchy-support-record-low-trump-visit-uk-b2824279.html

"Fast-forward 15 years and the news has got even better. The group’s latest census found that in 2024 there were 5,326 jaguars in Mexico, a 30% increase compared with 2010"

I don't want to stereotype an entire nation, but you'd think that Mexico's drug cartels would have huge flocks of jaguars. Herds. Packs. Packs of jaguars. So that they could kill their enemies, dispose of the bodies, guard places, and also just because having an army of jaguars would be cool.

And pythons. The jaguars would kill people on the ground and the pythons would hoist people up into the trees, like in Predator, and slowly strangle them while doing that thing with their eyes. Like in The Jungle Book. With the hypnotising eyes. I don't know if that happens in real life but Disney's animators must have got the idea from somewhere.

I don't want to stereotype an entire nation

oops

probably the worst AP post yet

I don't want to stereotype an entire nation, but i am going to do just that

^^ I tell my students that I call this the But Problem. Virtually any time someone says "I don't want to xyz, but" they almost immediately xyz. Administer your buts carefully!!

Jeremy Clarkson says he’s ‘genuinely frightened’ to voice his views after Charlie Kirk’s death.

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/charlie-kirk-death-jeremy-clarkson-statement-b2824594.html

Don’t need to be a crack sniper to hit that neck

might need to use imported jowl-piercing rounds tho

Mountain gorillas thriving in Uganda due to gorilla tourism

https://apnews.com/article/uganda-mountain-gorillas-conservation-916d874dd7babcfbf04c25b9a39d1961

not sure I actually believe any of this, but it's nice to think about

Customs and Border Protection (CBP) officials said Latin Kings street gang leaders have issued a “shoot on sight” order targeting agents involved in immigration operations in Chicago, NewsNation has learned.

“Officer/agents are reminded to maintain heightened situational awareness and exercise extreme caution when conducting enforcement activities,” the agency’s internal warning said.

A DHS spokesperson wouldn’t comment on the reported Latin Kings threat but said, “Our law enforcement is now facing an 8,000% increase in death threats against them while they risk their lives every single day to remove the worst of the worst.”

Squirrel buddies! Released into the wild together

‘Rare’ squirrels set free together after bonding at Florida wildlife hospital

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/dec/23/rare-squirrels-set-free-together

Anyone who isn't aware of the Afroman vs. Adams County, Ohio PD court case, it belongs in this thread

Afroman

C'est la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

An American millionaire big-game hunter has died after being crushed by a group of elephants during a hunting expedition in Gabon.

Ernie Dosio, a 75-year-old vineyard owner, was hunting yellow-backed duiker, an antelope species, in the central African country of Gabon when the incident occurred last Friday. While in the Lope-Okanda rainforest, he and his guide unexpectedly came across five female elephants accompanied by a calf.

I was actually thinking of making a separate "post here when a big game hunter is killed by an animal or animals" thread

https://bsky.app/profile/chipdaniels.bsky.social/post/3mkaogds5hc2b

damn just saw some footage of the elephant attack, which I won't post here... but that mama elephant was stomping and tossing him like a ragdoll.. all the guides were running for their lives