Worst of these Conservative Party factions

I don't know what any of these are and I will be too depressed if I look them up so I'm going for common sense based on the name. the people born into wealth stolen from the commons are now getting to ventriloquise it for conservatism and claim a monopoly on its "sense" after having beaten all the actual commoners into submission. it's grotesque

there doesn't seem to be much difference between the New Conservatives and the Common Sense Group afaict except that the former is made up of MPs elected post 2016, half of them are also in the Common Sense Group as well

I wonder if someone could draw a Venn diagram of the different factions to show overlaps in membership, and then draw a big circle around the whole lot and label it 'WANKERS'?

Voting One Nation for being the cunts who shore up the ‘good Tory’ shit. You know where you are with the other cunts.

one nation is the accelerationist choice

xp otm

write in vote for the SCG because they are a group within a conservative centre-right party and do have members who are transphobic, or landlords and people who are so timid + cowed by the Labour Right, who even knows what the point of their continued existence is.

I too voted One Nation, as these people should either be leaving to be independents or joining the Lib Dems. The whole thing seems to be predicated on the basis of: I will stay, because one day everyone will come to their senses and I might be PM, or hold a senior government position. Which seems naive at the very least.

here's how well-informed about this issue going in: i thought these were all factions of the rwandan conservative party. well, i did! the bbc should have been clearer in their headline. anyway, in the best tradition of british conservative politics, i am going to offer my opinion from a position of complete and total ignorance.

One Nation Caucus:

Chaired by former First Secretary of State Damian Green, it says it is "committed to the values of the liberal centre right".

you know, "Fishhook Caucus" is way punchier than "One Nation Caucus". or, you know, if you want to actually appeal to tory values, you could just call it something like "Strength in Unity".

Many of its members represent traditionally Tory "blue wall" seats where the Liberal Democrats are the main challengers.

"Blue wall" doesn't mean _exactly_ the same thing in America, but it's close enough.

Some are known to be unhappy that Mr Sunak's new Rwanda bill sets aside some of the UK's obligations in international law.

Like, seriously. These are people who have slight reservations about something that, from what I can tell, is a blatant violation of human rights. What's the danger in _not_ dogwhistling at this lot?

Former Solicitor General Lord Garnier, who is advising the caucus, has described the bill as political and legal "nonsense", equivalent to ruling "all dogs are cats".

Look, none of these people give a shit about human rights. They just want to rerun the Brexit caucus until they win. A strong contender for "worst".

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European Research Group:

It has been pressing for a hardline approach on the illegal migration issue and its so-called "star chamber" - a group of lawyers chaired by veteran Eurosceptic Sir Bill Cash - is analysing the Rwanda legislation to decide whether it is "fit for purpose".

"Look, there are some problems with this proposed legislation. If it _was_ genuinely a paper-thin cover story for a program of systemic extermination of refugees, we might be OK with it, but we haven't heard anything of the sort. Either you're not actually going to exterminate refugees, or, even worse, you're planning on doing it but aren't inviting us to help."

Genocidal fascists masquerading as a "research group". Another strong contender.

New Conservatives:

Support the European Research Group, but is worried that the bill focuses on the genocide in ways that negatively impact their ability to exterminate trans people and accelerate ecological devastation.

Common Sense Group:

Also supports the European Research Group, but is concerned that the plan doesn't involve deporting them to a crown colony. Could they possibly make Rwanda a crown colony? Also, the NHS isn't being dismantled fast enough.

Northern Research Group:

Based on the name of the European Research Group I just figured they wanted to bomb the shit out Manchester. It turns out they're just Northerners who want the government to give them more money. Utterly disappointing. A complete lack of backbone. The first ones on the list I feel confident in ruling out completely.

Conservative Growth Group:

Want to bring Liz Truss back. I, um. There are _fifty_ of these people? I wouldn't have believed there were fifty people in all of fucking England who wanted Liz Truss back. Look, I know I said that I'm completely and wholly ignorant about this whole shebang, but I genuinely think that the Conservative Growth Group are more ignorant about British politics than I am. I'm impressed. The only political position I can think of that would be more stupid is wanting to bring Margaret Thatcher back.

No Turning Back:

Want to bring Margaret Thatcher back.

Conservative Democratic Organization:

Want to bring Boris Johnson back. Christ. Three factions wanting to bring back former leaders and _none_ of them want to bring back Henry VIII. Petty, small-minded, parochial thinkers. It's like none of them want England to be actually great. No, the only ones with real vision here are the Common Sense Group, who want to bring back the glory days of colonialism and concentration camps.

Voting Common Sense Group over New Conservatives. Sure, the New Conservatives want to exterminate trans people, but that's hardly visionary political leadership in 2023. Exterminating trans people? That's what _Labor_ wants to do. They call themselves "new conservatives", but they act like socialists! Same thing with devastating the environment. Britain's been a world leader in ecological devastation since the 19th century! This lot have nothing at all to offer Britain that it doesn't already have plenty of. Grifters.

That said, my heart really does believe that One Nation Caucus are the worst out of all of them. I have a special place in my heart for such craven, soulless hypocrisy. The One Nation Caucus, to me, best emblematize the decay at the heart of nation-states. The Common Sense Group may do the killing, but they'll need the lifetimes of expertise possessed by members of the One Nation Caucus in order to do it - and members of that caucus will _gladly_ provide that expertise to the Common Sense Group. Yeah. I've convinced myself. One Nation Caucus it is.

New Conservatives:

also, my god these guys are _so fucking close_, i bet they have the plastic hair and everything. it's a beautiful world for them. not me. would it kill them to go the extra hundredth of an inch on this?

well, i guess i can see why they're not. if they did, that would be kind of cool, and they're clearly through being cool.

These factions are all putting on a Big Show ahead of the vote tonight. Pricks.

those nice One Nation Tories will vote for a terrible, inhumane and evil asylum bill at this stage, but if it is made more efficiently evil by some ERG amendment they are threatening to vote against it. I'm struggling to think of any evil Tory shit this faction as a voting bloc have ever prevented. Their main spokesperson a disgraced sex pest who had a zillion tebibytes of porn on his office computer.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I am of course very ill-informed about UK politics, but from afar this seems to be all very People's Front of Judea vs. Judean People's Front.

there is a clear schism over the UK's relationship with the EU from the One Nation faction at odds with mostly all of the others I think, but basically they are all evil class enemies and corrupt racist scumbags who want all disabled people wiped out.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.