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ah look, what do you all fuck like?

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sorry, been running across the the "ah fuck it" thread title one day too many

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Saturday, 23 November 2002 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll just get the "bunnies" answer out of the way here though

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Saturday, 23 November 2002 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Something tells me this thread is best answered anonymously. Alternately, bring on the future googlers!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 23 November 2002 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

What a coincidence! My first girlfriend-in-the-flesh said my lovemaking put her in mind of a Googler From The Future.

― Aimless, Saturday, 23 November 2002 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Until tha' dawn, 'til cherry's gone

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 23 November 2002 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Come on, people. I don't want to see this thread die!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 23 November 2002 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

BLACKIE LAWLESS TO THREAD, HASTA PRONTO!

― Tad (llamasfur), Saturday, 23 November 2002 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned has a point, though. this is ILX! i.e in more cases than not, sexual self-consciousness central. Like anyone is going to go into detail unanonymously.

An even better point: does anyone know what he/she's "like", really? If so, who in his/her right mind would be able to describe, in a short sound bite, what he/she's "like"? I'd like to think I could be "like" many things, depending on the mood, person, context, etc.

(HAHA, only on ILX would the least seriously triggered thread actually trigger serious answers. I think I'm gonna stop here.)

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 23 November 2002 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

a girl.

― toby (tsg20), Saturday, 23 November 2002 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

a monk

― ron (ron), Saturday, 23 November 2002 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

What I lack in skill and sophistication, I more than make up for with enthusiasm and super-large quantities of saliva.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a magical mangina.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Asking Dan onto this thread is just going to be irrelevant, isn't it?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I know what I'm like. I'm really good and skillful and thoughtful, but sometimes slightly too passive (not always, but on average). So you'll have a nice time with me, the first time, and for a long time after that, but if you are stupid enough to go out with me, you'll long for someone with more spontaneity and animal force after a while.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm told I'm "fun." I don't think I'm revealing too much here.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I wanna take back the word "skillful", if only because it sounds like I think I've got some awful clit-licking technique that I learned from Rocco or Max Hardcore. I'm not "skillful" in that sense, anyway. I'm kind of no good at oral, although I'm genuinely into it for selfish reasons.

Replace 'skillful' with, I suppose, 'fucking nasty'.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i invented the Tongue Tornado

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Sunday, 24 November 2002 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

practice makes perfect Mr Kicks

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Sunday, 24 November 2002 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't had sex since June. I fuck like a nun!

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 24 November 2002 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

like a robot

― (doorag), Sunday, 24 November 2002 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

like the sherminator?

― ron (ron), Sunday, 24 November 2002 05:28 (twenty-two years ago)

The Sherminator's ability to mack foreign exchange students whilst I shrivel and drift gracelessly into middle age unloved and boring makes me ... oh, I dunno ... post about this crap on the internet?

― David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, 24 November 2002 05:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i made nancy orgasm fourteen times once in a single sitting. yes, i am your god.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 24 November 2002 05:58 (twenty-two years ago)

The best way is the sweetest way

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Sunday, 24 November 2002 07:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, premptive measures heah - Skate-A-Round USA ; I could go into how I got the nickname "barbecue" when I was stationed in Keflavik but I'd lose what few allies I gots. The girls said it stung though. Also cognac and barbecue don't taste good together.

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 24 November 2002 08:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I work that coochie like a maze!

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 24 November 2002 08:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I, like Blackie Lawless, fuck like a beast. A very courteous beast.

― M Matos (M Matos), Sunday, 24 November 2002 09:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I smack it up flip it rub it down.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Sunday, 24 November 2002 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

with my hands.

― J (Jay), Sunday, 24 November 2002 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i put my game down flip it and reverse

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Sunday, 24 November 2002 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

What, Jess, you don't think anyone's topped that? (With people other than Nancy, obviously.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 24 November 2002 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

By the way, J0hn, that should be "ah lookit, what do you all etc." People need to say "lookit" more often.

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 24 November 2002 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'M LOOKITING!!!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 24 November 2002 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

What, Jess, you don't think anyone's topped that? Jess, if I told you by how many my high-school ex M. topped that number, you wouldn't even believe me.

I believe we need a new thread titled "Boasting about one's sexual accomplishments in public C/D" or something like that

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Sunday, 24 November 2002 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

dud

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Sunday, 24 November 2002 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

i invented the Tongue Tornado
-- boxcubed (uneasy_alliance@yahoo.com), November 23rd, 2002.

glass houses etc

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Sunday, 24 November 2002 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

sc. :-) or smiley emoticon of choice, obv.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Sunday, 24 November 2002 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

john, i got love

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Sunday, 24 November 2002 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

if I believed in guilty pleasures I'd feel guilty about how much fun I'm having on this thread

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Sunday, 24 November 2002 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Counting orgasms is insufficient evidence. In my experience, some women orgasm at least ten times as quickly and easily and frequently as others.

I'm reasonably experienced, enthusiastic, imaginative and considerate, and have had quite a bit of praise from quite a few partners, so I hope I would do okay, but I expect most of my partners would have been too polite to be insulting.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 24 November 2002 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

wombles.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 24 November 2002 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i am a caring and gentle lover.

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 24 November 2002 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

what anthony said. or, "tough or tender?" give me 95 percent tender, thanks.

question: in a hetero relationship, a lot of people have an easier time talking about the things that make a man a good lover than the things that make a woman a good lover. i don't mean the generalities which are true of both sexes, like being sensitive or attentive. i mean things like: has reasonable control of the timing of his ejaculation, knows how to go down on a woman, knows how to thrust to hit the g-spot or rub against the clit, et cetera. in other words, the ::mechanics:: of sex.

does anyone else find it really hard to talk in the same way about women? i think part of it is that it's really hard to do without feeling like you somehow sound sexist. which is absurd, how can it be sexist to talk about what you want? but so many of the things that are valued in women as lovers are reactive, the big one being willingness in the first place. i think a lot of men are just grateful to be having sex in the first place and probably afraid to ask for what they want, especially when they're first starting out. i know i was, anyway.

of course skill is easier to talk about with oral sex and manual sex. and there are ways a woman can move when you're inside her that can be really nice (and others that can be really distracting). but i guess it is kind of true that when i think about what i value in penis-vagina sex, the main thing is that she really, really wants to be there, which can feel like a miracle in and of itself!

but maybe, instead of thinking of it as a gender issue, it's just the nature of penetration (vaginal and anal sex) to put the burden of skill or responsibility on the one who's doing the penetrating. so if a woman were to penetrate me with a strap-on, i think most people would find it easier to talk about the skills she had or didn't have, and it might be hard to find intuitive ways to talk about skill on the part of the one being penetrated, i.e. me. of course it definitely takes skill to take something the size of a phallus in there, whether you're a boy or a girl. i guess it's just human nature to see movement as active and stillness as passive.

― Flo and Eddie, Sunday, 24 November 2002 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I fuck like a nun!

Ally in: "Bad Habit"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 25 November 2002 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Shouldn't it be about QUALITY more than QUANTITY? I mean, c'mon.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 November 2002 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

In an attempt to find some kind of clever/snarky response to this, I googled "fuck like." And was rewarded, disturbingly, by my own byline: http://www.blender.com/articles/issue6/filthy_lyrics.html .

So, basically, I fuck like a blender, I guess.

― Douglas, Monday, 25 November 2002 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

hold up a sec - "mickey" isn't really about anal sex, is it??

― dave k, Monday, 25 November 2002 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm very good at fucking myself. how do i fuck? it depends who i'm fucking. people like different stuff done to them.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 25 November 2002 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm very good at fucking myself

I'm impressed! Are you a contortionist, Di?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 25 November 2002 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course it is! Go look at the lyrics again. "Any way you want it, I'll take it like a man..."

― Douglas, Monday, 25 November 2002 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! I pointed this out myself to an incredulous ILXer maybe a year ago.

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 25 November 2002 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

[boobie picture]

― kicken, Monday, 25 November 2002 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

whoa.

― dave k, Monday, 25 November 2002 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely this should be "what do the people on ILX you've fucked fuck like?"

Actually, can we not?

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 25 November 2002 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

[another boobie picture]

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 25 November 2002 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course it is! Go look at the lyrics again. "Any way you want it, I'll take it like a man..."

Yes, but the songwriter (not Toni Basil) originally wrote it as "Oh Kitty," in the voice of a male.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 25 November 2002 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is now reminding me of that song devil woman by cliff richard where he sings in the chorus about a woman fucking him up the ass with a dildo.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)


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