US Politics, May 2024: They Shoot Puppies, Don't They?

Here we go!

ace title

Good afternoon!

Dems are gonna help save Mike Johnson, which will make him even more unpopular with the far right kooks.. interesting to see where this goes

Love the title, well done

Republican leaders, including former president Donald Trump, had reportedly pressured the Georgia congresswoman to back down from attempting to remove Mr Johnson, concerned that a Republican power struggle would harm the party's prospects in November's general election...

she doesn't give a shit

lol

“I didn’t eat my dog. I didn’t shoot my dog. I loved my dog, and my dog loved me,” Romney said, on Capitol Hill on Tuesday, as reported by HuffPost.

Romney would eat a dog.

Where’s the Commemorative Trump On Trial NFTs for $599 each?

MTG is clearly running for President in 2028.

where's the dog tags?

https://static.stereogum.com/uploads/2012/08/dont-roof-rack-me-bro.jpeg

It's starting...

Arizona lawmakers on Wednesday voted to repeal a Civil War-era law that banned nearly all abortions, after a pair of Republican senators joined with all Democrats.

The Republican-controlled Senate had enough votes to pass legislation repealing the 1864 law by a razor-thin margin, 16-14. All 14 Democrats were joined by two Republicans: state Sens. Shawnna Bolick and T.J. Shope.

All 14 Democrats were joined by two Republicans: state Sens. Shawnna Bolick and T.J. Shope.

Who will immediately receive primary challenges for their trouble.

well, anyone who's too lilly-livered to uphold 1864 statutes probably deserves to be primaried

An interesting list of things maybe possibly of importance to Americans, if only they knew about them:

Nearly every day for the past month, the Biden administration has made an announcement about a finalized regulation. They have completed a minimum staffing ratio for nursing homes, conserved 13 million acres in the Alaskan Arctic, designated “forever chemicals” as hazardous substances, invested in rooftop solar panels in low-income communities, banned most noncompete agreements at U.S. businesses, directed federal agencies to purchase sustainable products, and closed the “gun show loophole,” to name just a few.

Why has April been a month of regulatory action? The administration surely wants to show key constituencies that they have made progress. But policymakers are also racing to get regulations done to protect them from being overturned in the next Congress.

The threat depends on the outcome of the 2024 election. If Donald Trump and the Republicans sweep back into power, they would have the ability to use the Congressional Review Act (CRA), a 1996 law that allows Congress to overturn federal agency rules through a streamlined process. Unlike most legislation, CRA resolutions can pass with a simple majority in the Senate, giving a future Republican majority a path to quickly show progress early in 2025.

But because of the timeline outlined in the CRA, any rule finalized before late May (roughly speaking; this is a moving target) is safe from being reversed by Congress. So agencies have clearly been told to get their most important rules out the door now.

In other words, the CRA is so powerful that it virtually shuts down executive branch rulemaking authority, months before the end of a presidential term.

But, you know, the most important issue in America — the most important thing in the entire world — is what's going on in Gaza, so never mind.

Voters are voters and we don't get to decide who or why they vote or don't vote. Votes are earned whether we like it or not. I've seen quite a bit of voter shaming for people saying they will vote for Biden, and now I'm starting to see it creep in for people who say they won't vote for Biden too. I don't think either are persuasive approaches

But, you know, the most important issue in America — the most important thing in the entire world — is what's going on in Gaza on American college campuses, so never mind.

But, you know, the most important issue in America — the most important thing in the entire world — is what's going on in Gaza, so never mind.

what's going on in Gaza?

KAITLAN COLLINS: So you agree that people who break in and vandalize a building should be prosecuted?

JD VANCE: Yes

COLLINS: Ok, I'm just checking, because you helped raise money for people who did so on January 6 pic.twitter.com/nEztSPrQlC

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 2, 2024

ZING

Unperson, can you provide the link for that story? I’d like to share it around

i'm pro-JD Vance only because that movie about him was one of the funniest fucking things i have ever seen in my life. kudos to him and his life.

https://www.awardsdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Glenn-Close-Hillbilly-Elegy.jpg

Raymond:

https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2024/05/the-regulatory-push

the most important thing in the entire world — is what's going on in Gaza

... yes.

Thanks, Alfred!

I remember when JDV was always on NPR, Fresh Air, etc., the liberal media nearly swooned over him and his sad, soulful coal miner neighbors... he really fleeced everybody

Always Be Grifting.

the most important thing in the entire world — is what's going on in Gaza

... yes.

― papal hotwife (milo z)

otm

x3

I posted my JDV story a while back, perhaps it's time to rescreen...?

In local (to me) news, Biden has nominated an attorney for the Confederated Salish and Kootenai Tribes to replace Judge Dana Christensen in the U.S. District Court of Montana.

Danna Jackson, a former U.S. attorney who served as chief legal counsel to the Montana Department of Natural Resources from 2016 to 2021, would be the first Native American federal judge in Montana if her nomination is confirmed. She worked as an attorney within the U.S. Department of the Interior from 2021 to 2023.

...

Jackson, who grew up on the Flathead Indian Reservation, has spent the bulk of her career focused on tribal law and natural resource issues.

Fun Fact: JD Vance (then known as "James") lived* across the street from my buddy in Bernal Heights, SF about 8-10 years ago, back when he was just a garden variety techbro.

*501 Franconia St for those Zillow curious.

Kinda crazy what a decade can do (though he was working for Thiel at the time so he probably drank the koolaid and some).

― citation needed (Steve Shasta), Tuesday, June 13, 2023 12:21 PM (ten months ago)

Yeah that's what was surprising to my (longtime neighborhood resident) friend who said JD and his POC wife (note: they both used different names back then, is that a MAGA thing?) were active in their neighborhood projects (cleanups of neighborhood open space/public stairwells, garden) and seemed pretty non-sociopathic. Then they moved away and JD grew a beard and adopted this whole hillbilly rustbelt salt-of-the-earth persona.

― citation needed (Steve Shasta), Tuesday, June 13, 2023 12:34 PM (ten months ago)

what were the names they used?

Lee Oswald.

Two months away from posting about how commies want to make you live on crickets and cockroaches

Pains me deeply to agree with Crash-and-Burn Ron, but I co-sign this.

As a member of @SenateAgDems and as some dude who would never serve that slop to my kids, I stand with our American ranchers and farmers. 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/zZLYf8t5lI

— Senator John Fetterman (@SenFettermanPA) May 2, 2024

Lab-grown meat hasn't suffered the pain and fear that makes a steak so juicy

Let's make some things up for DeSantis to ban... uh, 'Co-Ed Checkout Lines' , 'All Ages Parks', 'Transparent Window Panes'

some "lab grown" meat Donnie and Johnnie can feel free to snack on:

Hungry? Perhaps you'd like a POOP BURGER

what were the names they used?

― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Thursday, May 2, 2024 12:47 PM (nine minutes ago)

JD went by James and his wife (Usha) went by Dawn.

PLEASE JUST BUY MY FUCKING BOOK

“You know how the fake news works,” Noem told Fox News. “They leave out some or most of the facts of a story, they put the worst spin on it. And that’s what’s happened in this case.

“I hope people really do buy this book and they find out the truth of the story because the truth of the story is that this was a working dog and it was not a puppy. It was a dog that was extremely dangerous.”

How is it 'fake news' if it's your own book? She admit it!

Noem's going to have to look to any distraction she can gin up given this:

https://apnews.com/article/south-dakota-abortion-rights-ballot-initiative-1add60de74f1985a19d01084d796297d

“You know how the fake news works,” Noem told the Fake News Network.

I heard the Biden statement on the radio, it was extremely short and said about what I'd expect it to say. Some definite needle threading there. someone asked him at the end if he thought the nation guard should be called in and he said "NO". It was like he wanted to get the fuck out of the room.

(biden statement on the protests, sorry, I can't keep track of threads anymore)

Andy's thread title is gr8 but here comes a late entry fromm WaPo:

Trump frequently meandered and interrupted his text with playful asides — when reciting grocery prices, he added, “I love chicken.”

Thanks for ruining chicken for me

KFC isn't chicken.

I actually agree w unperson in that, as horrible as the situation in Gaza is, there are other things of equal importance.

He does love chicken, though (in the paedo sense).

is he thanking himself

so if Crooked Joe doesn't accept this date, will Trump debate himself?

"my conditions include a roaring crowd in MAGA hats right behind me, a bare green light bulb under Crooked Joe's chin, and a hot mic to mutter in while he talks..."

Biden should reply that he accepts debating on the Lincoln Project podcast

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/15/us/politics/trump-biden-debate-june.html

Imagine what Biden’s debate prep will be like. Maybe they can get Rahm Emanuel on board for that

same night as the bear season 3 drops . . .

Carmie For President!

Honestly, debating Trump is not entirely unlike Christmas dinner with Jamie Lee Curtis' Bear mom.

lol

Accepting a pardon is a de facto admission of guilt... you can't pardon the innocent

Biden should have pardoned Trump on federal charges, Mitt Romney says

“Had I been President Biden,” Romney said, “when the justice department brought out indictments, I would have immediately pardoned him. I’d have pardoned President Trump.”

“Why? Well, because it makes me, President Biden, the big guy and the person I pardoned the little guy. And, number two, it’s not going to get resolved before the election. It’s not going to have an impact before the election. And, frankly, the country doesn’t want to have to go through prosecuting a former president."

How adorable that he believe this

Believes

Christ almighty go jump in a lake

The Wit and Wisdom of Willard

I mean, given that as Andy points out accepting a pardon requires admitting guilt, it is kind of a good idea from an LBJ-esque "let's make the son of a bitch admit it" angle... and if Biden was gonna do it, he should offer individual pardons for every charge Trump's up on, just pounding one nail after another into his skull.

And, frankly, the country doesn’t want to have to go through prosecuting a former president."

It’s literally the only thing I DO want to go through concerning the former president.

xp Well, Ford's pardon of Nixon was either an 'act of great statesmanship' or a partisan double cross, depending on who you talk to.. but to cross party lines would be a unique situation

Also, we can't guarantee convictions in any of this.. but making him grovel for a pardon would be a sight to behold

Ford's pardoning of Nixon was one of the most poisonous acts a president has committed in our history. It's impeachable if it weren't legal. He made Reagan untouchable during Iran-Contra and planted brain worms in Willard Romney's brain.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51CJ35l0ifL.__AC_SX300_SY300_QL70_FMwebp_.jpg

also, it's been pointed out that Biden could not have pardoned Trump in this case, since it was brought in a State Court

Mitt was just referring to the Federal charges

Biden pardoning Trump is maybe the one thing he could do to get me to sit out the election

What if he got the pardon all prepped, went to sign it then said PSYCH

"Too...old...to...sign..."

•biden, sitting at desk in front of djt an unsigned pardon as his placemat. he is eating a pbj. djt is seated across room•

“hey donnie, surprised to see you h— no, you’re here for somethin’ aren’t you? seems like i’m sposed to be doin’ something, don… i can’t remember anything… so forgetful sometimes. huh? beg pardon? sorry i can’t hear you i musta forgot my hearin’ aids today, damned things— i tell ya, ya better hope you never need those bastards, donnie, they really slow down meetings when all you wanna do is rest your eyes— well for you, they slow down all your damn trials, make ‘em seem eternal— BECAUSE YOURS ARE! HEH! nah, just bustin’ your balls donnie— do i normally call you donnie? nevermind, well hey! jeez, this pbj, this is a damn classic right, here. beg pardon? i told ya i can’t hear you, donnie, nah forget it— you don’t have to beg MY pardon, we’re fine.”

•with mouth full, chewing• “jeez i wish i could remember why you’re even here, donnie— am i supposed to be signing something, or givin’ you my autographed “presidential card”? naw look at this, i had it made to look just like mike schmidt’s rookie card, but with my face! HAAA! is that great? do ya like baseball donnie? i bet you do, why in our day that came to us as our birthright with citizenship, yeah it did, you know that’s right. pardon? i can’t fucking hear a thing. dammit i think i’m sposed to ring a bell or something, and they’ll send a staffer in. well, i’ll ring after this damn pbj, this thing is goddamn art, is what it is— naw, here just TRY this, one bite!c’mon, no don’t worry, my hands are clean— hey, are you upset? you look upset— don, i’m tellin’ you just TRY this pbj, t’ll cure you— why do you keep pointing at my mat do you need a napkin or something?? damnit where’s that little service bel— HAHAHA wait, you know what?! you know what? you’ll love this— the reason i keep thinking of the bell—i don’t even know if i have one nowadays— but as veep i GAVE one, a bell, to president barack as a joke and i told him to use it to call me whenever he needed my help, wherever i was!! i said “barack, sir, if we need healthcare or to bailout the banks, whatever, just ring this i’ll be a-comin’! isn’t that great! HAAAA! he said in his professorial voice ‘joe, i don’t think you will, you probably will not be able to hear it old man” haha, because that’s how he is, he knows how to do that, he’ll bust on you. i know you know, donnie, man he’s roasted the hell outta you. but i know, too! i said “GIVE ME SOME SLACK, BARACK!” just like in that movie Airplane! from a couple years ago. remember that scene donnie? great movie, all time.” •confused silence• “what are we doing here? will you try this pbj, the chef just killed this one…”

•djt storms out, his secret service officer runs after. biden turns to his secret service officer*

“you really should try this pbj, rick, it’s amazing. and hey, will you put this stupid pardon in the recycle bin over there? fuck that guy.” •25 seconds of chewing in silence• “man, i wish barack would call.k i think he’d like this one.”

Trump's conviction and imprisonment means he won't be able to attend either scheduled debate. Here's why that's bad for Joe Biden.
― omar little

Word-perfect approximation of cnn.com's house style for headlines. They run 20 of those every day, across all departments. Many are absurd. "Taylor Swift sets new first-day streaming record on Spotify. Here's why that's bad for Shohei Ohtani."

wonder if the judge has the balls to do it

Trump wraps up his morning rant by attacking one of the prosecutors, Colangelo, which is a flagrant violation of his gag order pic.twitter.com/jEKmkr7pfF

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 16, 2024

just do it be a legend etc ftw/not forthewin

Jail him for the day… on a Wednesday

Lock him up tomorrow, so he misses that fundraiser (and Barron's graduation).

tbh he'd probably consider missing the graduation a win. The fundraiser maybe not, but they'd probably raise a lot more money if he were actually in jail.

lol I’d give anything to hear the judge say “well, you should have thought of that *before* Barron’s graduation shouldn’t you Mr. Loudmouth” like he’s a toddler getting a time out.

Matt Gaetz
@mattgaetz

Standing back and standing by, Mr. President.

9:42 AM · May 16, 2024
·
928.4K
Views

Ready and willing to lick your boots, Mr. President

Matt Gaetz
@mattgaetz

Standing back and standing by, Mr. President.

Great, now I’m picturing him singing that, Marilyn Monroe-style

Marilyn Manson style maybe

It’s pretty funny that since the crowds haven’t shown up to support Trump at his trial/spring him, he’s been getting the worst politicians on earth to support him.

Too many lives have been upended because of our failed approach to marijuana.

So today, the @TheJusticeDept is taking the next step to reclassify marijuana from a Schedule I to a Schedule III drug under federal law.

Here's what that means: pic.twitter.com/TMztSyyFYm

— President Biden (@POTUS) May 16, 2024

"Look folks, no one should be in jail merely for using or possessing marijuana. Period."

whoa slow down too fast

gonna be a lot of conflicted pro-Palestinian stoners out there

So Greg Abbott seems to have discovered a new way to be terrifying shitbird, pardoning the ex-cop and pedophile who shot and drove at BLM protestors in 2020.

gonna be a lot of conflicted pro-Palestinian stoners out there

https://media.tenor.com/guFGO3iDp_EAAAAi/sex-emoticons.gif

NEW: Democrats gear up to overhaul the Senate filibuster for major bills if they win in 2024

Manchin & Sinema are retiring.

Remaining Dems + new candidates roundly favor piercing 60-vote rule to pass abortion and/or voting rights.

Biden favors it, too.https://t.co/TRZBtR0Do9

— Sahil Kapur (@sahilkapur) May 17, 2024

tough road to win though

Would have to be a Dem landslide

of course they are planning to do this, they know they won't be in a situation where they can be held to following through

Excellent motivational too.

Alfred gets it.

they're going to take the house. the presidency is a tossup. losing only WV in the senate is a stretch but it's not completely out of the question.

unless you think what happened in 2020 was a landslide, it doesn't need to be a democratic landslide.