Help me make a Quebecois French cover of Parents by the Descendents

Some intrusive thoughts are easy to disperse by simply carrying them out,
but not knowing French and especially not knowing QC French, this has rattled in my brain for years.

Feeding the lyrics into an online translator doesn't help much in finding le mot juste! (idiomatic QC French, rhyming, matching meter)

The first few lines already pose a problem:

Parents, why won't they shut up
Parents, they're so fucked up
They treat me like a tool
They take me for a fool

Parents, pourquoi ne veulent-ils pas se taire
Parents, ils sont tellement défoncés

I feel like these need to be way more succinct to fit the meter, and looking up défoncés, it's the wrong kind of fucked up?

The next few spit out by google translate seem more promising -- did it actually figure out a set of rhyming translations?
Ils me traitent comme un outil
Ils me prennent pour un imbécile

haha, sorry this is all wrong, défoncés and outil especially
i live in montreal and speak french but my slang isn't inventive enough to help here, but definitely worth posting in a place with some real quebs!

ils me traitent de nul
ils devraient m'lécher le cul
maybe

I'm beginning to think QC French may be a useful tool to separate humans from robots... what a world where only Quebecois slang separates man from machine!

The machine is now just fucking with me, isn't it?

To translate "I'm a boy and not a toy" into Québec French while ensuring that the cognates for "boy" and "toy" rhyme, we can use:

Translation: "Je suis un gars et pas un jouet."

Rhyme Explanation
"gars" (which means "boy") has an ending sound of /ɡa/.
"jouet" (which means "toy") has an ending sound of /ʒu.ɛ/.

If a better rhyming pair is desired, we can adjust the translation focusing on the sound:
Alternative Translation: "Je suis un gars, pas un bois."

"bois" (which can mean "wood" but has variation as slang for "toy" in some contexts) is a more playful choice for rhyming.