2 Faced tryin' to get in my place.

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Are you two-faced? Part of my super-moral personality is that I'd really feel uncomfortable being derogatory about someone and then acting like a good friend to them to their face. Of course I talk about people behind their back, sometimes things I wouldn't say to their face for reasons of tact. But I wouldn't, say, take someone's side if they were having some kind of argument with another friend and then take the opposite side when talking to the other party in the dispute. I just can't do it, psychologically. But I get the feeling some people do this all the time.

― Nick, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry, that was a really rubbish question. I wasn't even drunk when I thought of it. I was joking about the 'super moral personality'. Kind of, anyway.

― Nick, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't it point of view? If you see someone saying something negative behind someone else's back, people have the tendency to call him/her a hypocrite. But when you do it, then you don't see yourself as such.(I am not saying Nick is, of course.) Am I? Not really. I am actually too frank.

― nathalie, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Grrrrr. ;-)

― nathalie, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The problem I have is that, even if I don't like someone, I have a hard time being nasty to them face to face. But then I tend to find something likeable in most people, and the others I just try to avoid.

― Ally C, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am diplomatic, or at least I try to be. But if it comes to taking sides then I do try and take a side and stick to it. I am also a coward though so if I find myself in that position I might just avoid speaking to the person who is in the wrong, at least about that issue.

As I've said before, yes I talk about people behind their back: I am an inveterate gossip. But I wouldn't pretend to be a good friend to those people if I was saying anything nasty - I probably would be polite and nice though which is just as two-faced. Oh well. The price I pay for this is continual low-level paranoia.

― Tom, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Surely the reason this is a crap question is that it comes from a song by Louise?

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's a good song though - best thing she's ever done. It's very funny her trying to sound tuff "Stop your bitchin'!". Actually Emma you would do it very well at K-Word.

― Tom, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is clearly a two faced plot against me to get me to 'sing' at karaoke in my very awful voice. Behind my back you are all laughing but to my face you say 'no Emma that was great you gave it a special raw London edge'. Humph.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma! Look! Over there! It's Basement Jaxx!

― Tom, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Stop your bitchin'.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm horrible. I would do this if I let myself, but I really try not to.

― Lyra, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If I don't like someone, I avoid them. If I have to associate with them I will be pleasent, but distant. Try my best not to take any side.

― jel, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jel, some people get really pissed off if you don't take their side and instead opt for some kind of "um, ah - well yes, but on the other hand you did this" when there's been some argument. Understandably, I think.

― Nick, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fortunately I am always in the right so my friends don't have difficult decisions to make about whose side to take in arguments.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I tell people to their face if I think they're crap, 9 times out of 10, unless it's a really delicate situation. So there you go.

― Ally, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nick, I tend for the "you're both being stupid, pull yourselves together and don't involve me in your petty disputes" angle. Luckily for me, I only usually ever know one person in the arguement, so it's okay. Could see how laid back attuitude could annoy, but that's my nature.

― jel, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nicky D: perhaps your highly developed morality explains why you are OPENLY, rather than hypocritically, hostile and derogatory towards me.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And now the bitterness flies forth. There are a couple of people I am specifically AGAINST (nobody here) who I have to be gently polite to in person, but that's the usual work office politics deal, and really they don't bug me as people, just as fellow workers in the system, given that they are crap at their jobs. So my actual coworkers -- all good people and all of whom agree with me -- and I quietly vent elsewhere.

Then there's situations like the Kate/Paul/the ex triangle, alluded to elsewhere. I'm still friends with everyone and I seek not to provoke anyone by swapping stories (and for that reason, while I've heard some details I've not pried for them -- the less I know, the better! ;-)).

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the less I know, the better! ;-)).

Has that been your motto throughout life, Ned?

― Nick, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, but of course...um, whoever you are. Who are you again?

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three years pass...

I agree with Nick. I find it hard to be two faced.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 21 August 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a close friend who was always nice to all her friends's faces, but would backstab every one of them. I used this sample size to determine that logically I was also a backstabbee, and stopped bothering with her.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 21 August 2004 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Totally, SOS. This past month has been one big ongoing homie inventory for me, and I'm using the exact same technique but with a whole checklist of peoples. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you - YOU'RE cool - fuck you, I'm out."

― LC, Saturday, 21 August 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

it's bad, when you know they're nice people but you just don't like them, really.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I can be a bit two-facedly snobbish, i.e. complaining about acquaintances who have done nothing morally wrong but just, erhm, bore me a bit. I know that this is awful, and admit that even when I'm venting about them. It's reprehensible, but I think it's mostly to do with being in the wrong social networks, i.e. perfectly nice ppl that just don't share a lot with me becoming insufferable when I have to interact with them a lot (and vice-versa, probably!)It's two-faced, but being honest with them would just be crass, unecessary and wouldn't really help make anyone's life easier...at any rate I only vent to ppl who haven't met them, and probably never will.

There's also been ppl that have done/said truly reprehensible things, but there I find the friendly-but-distant attitude best, just as to not ruin the vibe for mutual acquaintances.

All consequences of living on a small island, folks, don't do it!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I just assume that there are enough people who think I'm nice but don't really like me, so that it balances out.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

then, there are the people who like me a lot but think I'm a dick.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Boy, that RJG is such a dick.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Whoops, I mean, Hey RJG! Good to see you tonight!

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

you're in the wrong camp.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I cannot thole gossip.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

what I mean by that: talking behind peoples' backs.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i love this song

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Sunday, 22 August 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

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