Ideal qualities in a god

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Interviewing for a deity. What would you expect from them?

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

pie

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:50 (twenty-three years ago)

or: Omniscience, classic or dud?

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:52 (twenty-three years ago)

What sort of miracles can your god perform? I'd like to see examples, and take up references from satisfied mortals pls.

― C J (C J), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:52 (twenty-three years ago)

A beard.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Volcanoes on demand.

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)

The abilty to transubstantiate into pie.

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:55 (twenty-three years ago)

a really baffling set of dance moves

― Alfie (Alfie), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

'Would you say you are a) vengeful, b) loving, or c) in a funny old sort of way, both?'

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 25 November 2002 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

a copy of the Birthday Party's "Friend Catcher" 7"

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

An absence of jealous rages

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

A relatively open mind on the sins of the body versus those of the spirit.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:03 (twenty-three years ago)

a really baffling set of dance moves

Do you mean "must move in peculiar ways"?

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20021125/capt.1038235909.apmultimedia_britain_001gq_britain

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha ha! You shal forever wonder what visual pleasure I was to imbue you with ! hahaha!

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Last night I was thinking, wouldn't it be great if God liked Journey and could play guitar solos? It was a happy thought.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Someone has been really bad, do you:

a) forgive them
b) tie them to the ground and let vultures peck at their livers forever
c) make them push a round stone up a hill everyday forever
d) let Satan deal with him/her

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Where do you see yourself in five billion years?

― Rockist Scientist, Monday, 25 November 2002 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you planning on having any children?

― C J (C J), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:28 (twenty-three years ago)

i'd love to see their cv.

previous reponsibilities included
* creating the heavens, the world, etc
* leading chosen people to the promised land
* providing covenants with same
* writing/handing down commandments

Hobbies include smiting, ripping out sinews, reading, practical jokes (faking fossils, asking for, and then retracting, child sacrifices) and hang gliding.

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:35 (twenty-three years ago)

i wouldn't trust a male god what didn't have a good body.
but strangely, i wouldn't trust a female one that did.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I would expect them to be able to launch lightning bolts and shapeshift. Their own transport would obviously be an advantage as well.

― fractal (fractal), Monday, 25 November 2002 16:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Open-mindedness

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 25 November 2002 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

i wouldn't trust a male god what didn't have a good body.

Dionysus was a bit of a slobbo, and it never seemed to hurt his work. Mind you, god of beer goggles.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 25 November 2002 18:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Osiris taught the Egyptians how to brew ZYTHUM!!! So if anyone is the god of beer goggles eh...

Dionysus = god of CHIPS.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 25 November 2002 18:12 (twenty-three years ago)

this question might stall them

Q: When expected to step in and resolve a bitter dispute among employees in the workplace, do you

a) use your authority to intervene for the common benefit of all parties, initiating a fair and reasonable compromise in the process?

b) not interfere, leaving them to attempt to resolve matters themselves, risking severe damage to the workplace and the reputation of the company and its character as a result

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 25 November 2002 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

oh and I really wouldnt like to see my deity of choice nipping out every 45 minutes for a quick ciggy - that time adds up you know

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 25 November 2002 18:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Big Goron's Sword in Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

― dwh (dwh), Monday, 25 November 2002 19:35 (twenty-three years ago)

dead.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:12 (twenty-three years ago)

No, definitely pie.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:13 (twenty-three years ago)

looks like either Q or babe pig in the city

― jones (actual), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Love, justice, and a sense of humor. Love must be the reigning attribute.

and no, I don't mean I want a God who sends me flowers

― Heather, Monday, 25 November 2002 23:38 (twenty-three years ago)

BUT WHAT ABOUT PIE???????

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm tempted to say that the perfect quality is that of not existing, however I'll settle for the next best thing when it comes to gods: are you now or have you ever been depicted by Jack Kirby?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 18:17 (twenty-three years ago)

What is the pay and benefits package like? After all, deities who can move mountains and such usually won't get off their arses for less than £250,000 a year these days.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

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